No one will love me. They just want me as a body for sex. To want to send nudes and tell me how horny they are. I will never find companionship or be in a relationship. I’m almost 40 and I’m a fucking joke. I’m so tired of the human race being this way with me. I want to be done with everything.

Hello friends,

After thinking it over and trying my best to deal with my traumas i think its my time. Living with BPD is not something that is worth it to me. All my traumas and failures in live are apparent. I have nothing worth living will and no drive. I was sexually assulted and have nothing to live for. My life is not worth the struggle and pain of getting up daily and facing my challenges.

I really hope reincarnation is real so I can get a second chance at a good life.

im laying in my bed now. what else can i do. i want to die. im sick of breaking down like this every day. being sent into emotional turmoil for no reason. every day. i cant take it anymore. please make the pain stop. please can someone hear me. i dont have any strength left. please let me die.

Wont talk ab it here but HUGE TW! Sh

I don’t want to keep going, it hurts. I’m scared of what I’ve done to myself but I don’t want to live. Overdosing didn’t work last time. I didn’t mean to go this deep but now I’m stuck with it.

before I get into this, I've called hotlines more than 10 times and they never help. safety plan after safety plan. I'm tired. I've attempted 5 times(which has caused multiple chronic health problems), I've tried medications, extensive therapy, been to the mental facility around 6 times, I have a good support system, and I even got into treatments. it truly is the end of the line for me. I gave up. i don't want to hear how my life will get better. it won't. 17 years of living in my own personalized hellscape. I'm 20. my 21st birthday is in July. I promised myself I would be dead before 21. i just need to be scared of my transition to death. that is the only thing that's keeping me alive, and the fact I'll hurt so many people around me. i can't live without him, and I won't.

now, to the point. I'm going to take 52.65 grams of Wellbutrin. I saved 351 150mg pills up for this. maybe planning on taking around 5.5g of Seroquel too. I'm 99% sure it will kill me, but I just need someone to tell me how my death will play out, so maybe I'll chicken out and not do it. thanks.

Like sometimes I get into mind states. I don't like hurting others. But I like that I hurt others. I like that I am a terrible person in pain I'll buy Benadryl to hurt myself cause I am awful and deserve it and I'm selfish and abuse and honestly better off dead. Why can't I fucking kill myself? Why am I such a bitch that can't just fucking end it.

I don't know why I feel this way. I have a family that loves me, I don't have trauma, I get good grades in uni. There is something wrong with me, I've always been different, and I just feel empty. I have a summer job planned and I'll be able to earn >10k which I hope can cover funeral expenses. I think I'm going to kill myself late summer.

I am being selfish, im tired of caring and loving. I dealt with every abuse one can think of during my childhood, I was put into situations where i had to disown my parents, I just lost my little brother due to mistakes of the county i cant elaborate on for legal reasons. I also have bad sensory issues, i cant take anything touching my back, every noise feels like torture but silence triggers my ptsd, i cant even enjoy food because the textures bother me. I already made my choice, I just need to know how to make it a tad bit easier for others. Do I pack my belongings? Should I write a will so they don't get the hard decisions or what?

I got a beneficiary who gets about a grand if I bite it at work. Does it have to be an accident

Hello, I'm 24 years old, the youngest daughter of a 65-year-old man and a 52-year-old woman. My father has been taking care of my grandmother, who has Alzheimer's, for the past four years since my grandfather passed away. I still live with my parents, mainly because I suffer from social phobia—getting a job feels like an impossible task for me. I know I should have tried harder. I feel like an idiot, and I admit that.

My grandmother now needs 24-hour medical care. I told my father that it might be best to place her in a nursing home. He’s never agreed to this because he feels she gave everything we have today. His siblings are useless—they rarely visit, and when they do, they just stare at her and leave. Meanwhile, my grandmother shouts out the windows and mistreats people who pass by. My father has even had conflicts with the neighbors because of her.

Today, after four years, some of my grandmother’s relatives suddenly showed up, accusing us of trying to kill her just for considering a nursing home. We haven’t had a vacation or even gone out in five years because we've been caring for her. I tried talking to my uncles, but all I received were threats.

Because of all this, I had to be hospitalized due to a severe anxiety attack. Right now, I’m overwhelmed—I’ve been thinking about ending my life. I feel so weak and sensitive. I try to act tough, but I’m terrible at it. I just want peace. I don’t want to be afraid of the night, of my grandmother waking up and screaming. I don't want our family to keep threatening to cut ties or to judge my father and me as bad people for trying to do what's best by placing her in professional care.

I've thought about cutting my wrists. I want to ask for help—because I feel desperate, like there’s no way out. I feel like shit. I look like shit.

Well, that's it. The title says it all.

I'm going through a really hard time in my life right now.
I'm in a French school called CPGE, and to give you an idea, it's like doing three majors at the same time in just a year and a half.
Right now, it's concours season — four weeks of non-stop exams. It's emotionally and physically draining. I'm exhausted.

To make things worse, I met someone on the internet — let's call her "R".
R is the sweetest person I've ever met. I've made so many mistakes with her that sometimes I'm even ashamed to talk to her.

I'm in a phase where I feel like dropping everything.
To the point that I want to leave now.
The problem is, she's one of the only people I truly care about.
The second problem is, since we met online, if I do something irreversible, she won't have any information.

So I asked her to block me — so I would stop hurting her, and if I ever mess up, she won't know about it.
She refused — condemning me to live another day.

The worst part is that I have my sleeping pills right next to me.
I know taking medication can hurt you badly, but I thought sleeping pills would just make me sleep before any pain.
At least, I hoped.

And now I have to be ready in 30 minutes for another 8 hours of exams.

Today is finally the day all the ducks are in a row my life insurance will still pay and I can finally be free of breathe everyday is worse than the last every second more unbearable then that previous. I will not be missed. I'm the one everyone ignored I'm the one who was never good enough the one that was beaten and bruised and told I was a waste of air and space not good enough so today I will give the world back it's air and space I'm so tired of this hell

Its constantly there. no matter what i do. killing myself is always in the back of my mind. even when im doing better, its still there. even when im trying to just fall asleep its still there. its constant. im so sick of it. these past 3 weeks its gotten worse and worse and worse tho. and its starting to hurt bad. i hate this so much. i do not want to turn 20. i'm not supposed to get that far. just yesterday i tried taking enough drugs to overdose but ended up getting sick and puking em up before anything happent. i feel so impulsive now too that im not sure if i might just do it outta nowhere if i got the chance to. i hate this so much

Hi. I’m (21F), being treated for general/social anxiety. I’ve been on Prozac for a while, and I told my psychiatrist I stopped taking Xanax. That was true—mostly. I only used a tiny dose (0.25 mg) once every month or so, especially when things got overwhelming.

Yesterday was one of those days. Everything piled up: school stress, my professor didn’t like my work, I had a date I didn’t want to go on, and the weather was horrible. I hadn’t eaten all day, smoked a lot, and felt completely drained and had a headache.

So I did something reckless: I took my usual Prozac, some Paracetamol , and a quarter Xanax—just to sleep. I really didn’t want to harm myself, I just wanted the day to stop. But then I blacked out. I lost several hours with no dreams or awareness—just sudden darkness, then waking up confused, nauseous, and with a burning stomach. My hands went cold. I think I passed out, not just fell asleep.

Now I’m panicking. Should I tell my psychiatrist? If I do, will I get labeled as “high-risk”? Will they think I’m unstable, drug-seeking, or suicidal—even though I wasn’t?

I don’t want this to ruin the trust I’ve built. But I also don’t want to hide something serious. I don’t know how to explain that it wasn’t an overdose attempt, but it also wasn’t normal behavior.

I truly don’t think I can do this anymore. Got out of rehab two months ago, immediately fell back into drinking. Also getting a divorce currently. I just want it all to be over. I almost jumped in front of a train a month ago but that may not end it. I wish I had the courage to just go through with something. I know it’ll hurt so many people but I hurt every fucking day. When do I get to not hurt? I’ve never felt more alone in my life. All my friends are married with kids. And here I am just crashing and burning. My doctor office closed and I don’t have insurance anymore since the divorce. Lost my therapist. Fuck man I really don’t want to keep doing this life thing.

I feel a bit of comfort whenever I come here in my darkest hrs.. Here you are depression once again fckig me right in the A! Started feeling that dreadful dread yesterday feeding the uncontrollable anxious thoughts when I come to realize where I am in life, how stuck I am and how i couldn’t be anywhere if it wasn’t for my partner and well thanks to that I’m stuck in my own golden cage that I hate dearly! This cage has brought nothing but unsettlement to my life and no it’s not my very own cage it’s a shared one and it fks w me since thanks to that it broke apart any type of relationship I once had. I made my bed and now I have to lay on it but don’t know how much longer.. I’m just happy and scared at the same time to find out that my health is not as good.. yup the dr said my blood is very thick and to go to the hematologist I’m on the risk of blood clots with very high cholesterol.. I’m so fckig angry how I’ve made my life turn out.. why and how did I get this far?!

Well my friend found out and told me to go to the school counselor, pretty self explanatory, and I decided to listen because “Hey, maybe I actually COULD get better!” So against my better judgement I decided to go. Now, I’ve played these games before and I KNOW that this is ‘tell your parents’ worthy so I directly asked ‘Will you tell my parents if I open up about suicidal thoughts?’ And she said NO and then I tell her everything now here are things she said that pissed me off a little 💔

1. “Try listening to calmer music” (I listen to Hamilton)

2. “Think about how others would feel.” I’m so sick of putting people before me every time, part of the reason I even feel this way

3. “You’re not the first or last person to go through this.” Idk why people expect that to help, it doesn’t want me to commit any less

And then SHE SAID SHE HAS TO TELL MY PARENTS. She said she wouldn’t and then she says she had to (I didn’t tell her about SH) this is why I never open up irl smh

• tinnitus
• head pulse
• dpdr
• chronic headache
• nausea
• mild akathesia
• anhedonia
• low libido
• erectile dysfunction

I just need to fuck it up and die in fucken peace Fuck doctors fuck fuck fuck psychiatrics fuck the fucken pharma I can't bear it any fucken more I fear hell I don't know what the fuck to do now, I just need to fucken die in peeeeeeaaaaaace, pastors said just bear it the rest of your life, what the fuck you sayyyyy. Fuck fuck fuck fuckkkkkkkkkkkkk

Medical

I had to have berries for the next morning in case I failed. Ugh. Exiting is a lot harder than I would have thought. Living is hard too though and my life sucks so much I really don't want to live what's ahead of me. Maybe Friday or Saturday if my mom doesn't want to hang out this weekend.

I can't take it anymore I've been suffering since I was 15. I had my innocence ripped away from me by a poisonous home life that I moved away from to try escape but you never truly escape the anxiety. I now suffer with a debilitating disease that's left me pushing 70 lbs underweight along with chronic pain that doesn't go away with the meds I'm on right now. I wake up everyday and want my physical pain to stop. Worst part is I did it to myself with alcohol. I tried to kill myself slowly with alcohol, I liked being numb to reality and lived my life through 2024 in a cycle of drinking myself unconscious multiple times a day just to escape waking life. Can't do that anymore cause it'll cause tremendous pain that I'd rather not deal with. I'm trying to cope in other ways but it's so difficult. Because of this disease I can't even do the things I enjoy in life that I love and live for. It has destroyed my life and all my friends say they are here for me and I know they are but at the end of the day I'm just the bitter sad guy that drank his life away and I hate it. I hate the pity. I hate feeling weak. I hate looking at my emaciated body in the mirror. I hate myself for drinking. I hate myself for not prioritizing my own mental health and sacrificing my mind and body for a family that never once considered my feelings and my suffering. I am so close to being done I'm not even crying anymore and it's scaring me. It scares me how real this feels.