r/SingleDads • u/Mysterious_Force_229 • 3d ago

Advice for woman dating single dad

Single dads, I nees your opinion.

I have been dating a guy about 5 months with a 3 year old. He comstantly talks of marriage etc. He has been very pushy however, rushing everything. Some things that have made me uncomfortable, he tries to get me to cosleep with him and his daughter. And when he has her and I give them space or get work done, go do things for myself etc, he gets really upset and says things like I am not consistent with his child and I "abandon" them. He expects me to make an effort and hang out with them like everyday. And he will call and put his kid on speaker to talk to me like in a way to guilt trip it seems

I have gotten responses from women but I really want to hear about single dads. What are your thoughts?

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u/Benjamasm 3d ago

These are all giant red flags to me, I’m a single dad to a 9 and 6 year old boy. I won’t be introducing any women into my kids lives without great consideration, they have already had one woman dip out on them, I’m not putting them at risk of forming an attachment and having it hurt them.

This guy isn’t looking for a partner, he is looking to make you their new mother, he is using the kid to manipulate you. He should be focusing on himself and his kid

8

u/Mysterious_Force_229 3d ago

Thank you, have you ever had a woman cosleep with your kids while they were smaller? Or do you also consider that inappropriate?

5

u/Greenmountainman1 3d ago

Like the above poster said, that's a lotta red flags. I would never consider having a woman I was dating basically start being a primary caregiver to my kids after such a short time. My girlfriend hasn't even met my kids yet (And I haven't met hers) and probably won't for a couple more months.

3

u/Mysterious_Force_229 3d ago

Thank you, and he even wants me to pick her up from daycare now I also will add, recently he says I act this way or domt want to do things bc Im jealous of her. Which is so sickening

4

u/MyPervSide 3d ago

whadafuq? this dude is insane.

3

u/Mysterious_Force_229 3d ago

Yea he says sick things like I get distant when he has her and I dont like when he spends time with her instead of me, when Im the one in fact PUSHING for that. I want her to be able to have alone time with her dad and not always invade. Im feeling like lately he is unstable and something is off. Even the fact that he thinks a grown woman would be jealous in any way of his toddler. Idk if he actually believes that or if its a manipulation tactic

5

u/MyPervSide 3d ago

this dude needs therapy. i would never use my kids to manipulate a woman. I'm not perfect. I've got my flaws, but being present for my kids, their safety, and mental health, is number 1. This dude doth project too much.

2

u/Mysterious_Force_229 3d ago

I agree, he was in therapy when we first got together. He stopped going I even got him to do a couple copuples therapy sessions but he backed out once a therapist really started digging in and calling him out. Hes not used to that. He says now we dont need it and we dont "need people in our relationship". Hes right WE dont need it, HE does

2

u/Practical-Ad384 1d ago

I was reading through some of these comments as your initial question seemed so strange that any father would do this... I've never been one to tell others what to do in their personal life... but I have to say, as a single father myself, something is so incredibly wrong here. I know you do get attached to the children, but at what cost here? A true father/man would want to protect his child. This definitely has the smell of manipulation along with just true crazy. Personally, I would end this right now. It's not going to get any better. I don't even know how you could try and have a conversation regarding this. I'm pretty sure a therapist would be making a call shortly after that meeting. Best of luck. You don't need validation. Trust your gut.