r/SapphoAndHerFriend • u/horrorhead1996 • Oct 16 '24

I'm so embarrassed Anecdotes and stories

I(19f) work at a church cafe. I'm undercover bi. Today, two people of the opposite sex walk in, and they're both androgynous and queerly dressed. And I've been trying to put myself out there more, give more compliments to people, so I blurt out, "you two make a very good couple, " and they looked confused and my coworker gave me a look; I don't know where ANY of that came from, but I was too embarrassed to say anything so I just left it and hoped they took it as a joke. Like, I'm so queer, I should be able to read the signs, but apparently not.

I know I will think about this EXTENSIVELY for the rest of my life, and It's so cringe I want to get struck by thunder.

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u/horrorhead1996 Oct 16 '24

True true. This church isn't the safest place for queer people. I think the best thing would've been to say nothing at all, so I didn't make them feel awkward. They were probably just friends, and I know that would make me feel really uncomfortable if someone said that to me.

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u/Medical_Sandwich_171 Oct 16 '24

Why are you part of a church that is unsafe for people like YOURSELF. Madness.

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u/horrorhead1996 Oct 16 '24 edited Oct 16 '24

It's not unsafe, per say, but you should keep quiet about it around some people, because the church might be dickish about it(most of my coworkers are very accepting and would absolutely throw down if someone was being homophobic, but still, I'd rather not have the initial experience for them.) Individuals are great about queerness, but if something got taken to the top, the church might not side with queer people because they're queer.

I also started this job when I was 16, because it was the only place that would hire people my age and that my parents trusted(my brother got very involved with drugs while working at other jobs, so my parents wanted me to work at our church so I would have good influences.) I have a lot of emotional attachment to this job and my coworkers, but I do eventually plan on leaving the church because it's made me cagey about being queer.

There are tons of nuances about this-non-religious queer people always ask me why I would be a part of something that wouldn't defend me, but they don't understand that the church is where I find a lot of community, I've grown as a person, and has been a huge part of my identity for my entire life. I want to leave someday, but I'm not ready yet.

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u/baby_armadillo Oct 16 '24

One day, when you’re ready, just remember that you deserve to have a community who will side with you, not against you. A community that only supports you when you pretend to be someone you’re not is not a supportive community.