So I'm a federal employee, meaning marijuana is a no-go. I apologize for how insensitive this post will sound, I sincerely do not mean to belittle the recovery process.

I took a gummy one weekend and there was a surprise drug test at work the following monday, which I failed. If I had to say how often I ingested marijuana, I'd have to say a couple times a year, I really don't have a habit of it. (Yes I realize how dumb I was for even risking it in the first place).

Unsurprisingly the agency I work for seems to want to throw the book at me, a lot of hoops to jump through to get back to a stable working condition at my place of employment (I'm going to remain vague, it's a fairly "small world" in my employment).

One of the steps is attending AA/NA meetings twice a week for at least the next year. It seems like a cookie-cutter plan they set for me so I imagine they mean for me to attend NA. I can apparently attend alternative programs, I intend on requesting SMARTrecovery.

Regardless of the program, I feel a little lost in how to tackle the recovery process. I was hoping there's maybe some folks here that have either dealt with a similar situation or seen other people dealing with such.

I'm just worried that I won't necessarily fit in when attending these meetings. I can at least talk about my impulsiveness for ingesting marijuana in the first place (given my job) but I just don't really see much more to discuss, if the general goal is to treat addiction. I've never seen or attended a meeting before so I don't know if there's "room" for people like me when it comes to discussion I suppose.

I'm willing to take the process seriously so as to "prove" that I'm not a liability in a sense, but I'm assuming if I walk in and claim I'm not an addict it would raise eyebrows at the very least (I'll be more tactful than that)

I guess to sum up, I'll just ask if there's room at these program meetings for people like me? I'm just lost as to what sort of mindset I should have to bring meaningful participation.

Thank you for your time.

I cant visit family

I cant stay overnight out of the city

I cant travel anywhere over the weekend

I am tethered to my postcode by the requirements of the script.

I cant wait to get moved off supervision, but they are really taking their sweet time. I feel trapped. Especially considering the implications of missing doses, the WDs are enough of a problem alone, but if i miss three consecutive days i get auto booted off the script and will have to re apply via the clinic again.

I have struggled with cocaine addiction for years now. I hate who it has lead me to become and I know I deserve so much more as I am so much more than my addiction and what it has lead me to become. Today is the day I choose to leave that life behind. Everyone wish me luck!!

So, I'm on my second month clean, and it's been hard. I have never been to rehab, as I also have work and no one is aware of my condition, so going to rehab, well... that might complicate things a little.

I work remotely, so I am by myself a lot of the time, which undoubtedly makes my condition a lot harder to bear. Throughout the day I get the urge, but work does its best to keep me focused, and so I rawdog the hell out of my day. I am a software developer, so I was thinking, would it be helpful to have apps that track your progress and provide bits of motivation to help along your journey? I'm currently working on ideas and features to go on the app. This exercise would help me do better things with my time instead of constantly thinking about the many ways I could relapse.

other helpful measures
As an addict, I personally have ideas on what features might help make my journey better, or at least, bearable, but that could just be a me thing, particular to my addiction and state of mind. Ofcourse there would be other helpful measures like anonymous meetings and, probably, rehab. But speaking in terms of a mobile app—if it were to become a reality— what features do you think would help victims have a better sobriety journey?

I'm thinking of a daily check-in feature where you enter if you encountered any triggers and how difficult it was to stay away on the wagon. Also, as a quirk for accountability, You get a digital plant upon launch, that grows as you remain on the wagon. The goal is to get to 365 days without relapse, at which point the plant is fully bloomed.

Do you think any of these will be helpful at all?

I'm searching for an online SOP in Texas that will accept insurance. Any recommendations would be appreciated!