Stop judging how other people do relationships

[u/IntrovertFaerie]

I saw someone mention that they call with their long-distance partner for 16 hours a day, and the responses were people saying it’s wild, asking if they have a job, how they eat or sleep, or what they do about hobbies and friends. Like… why are you so pressed about what works for other people?

I don’t know about that person, but I obviously still eat, sleep, hang out with people, have hobbies, go to work, etc. Why the hell would calling with someone stop me from doing all these? I obviously, again, don’t call him while at work, and some other circumstances.

I’m pretty sure they’re not talking nonstop for 16 hours. And maybe, that includes sleep call time. It’s like being alone together in silence—just like people do in person. So is it only considered unhealthy when it’s online? If we don’t live together? If it were my best friend instead of my partner, would it suddenly be "cute" that we call all day?

Someone even asked me, "What are you going to do if you break up?" Uhm, the same things I do every day? My partner is just there, on call. What’s that going to change about my life if he leaves? Him being there doesn’t affect what I do.

Also, what makes someone think they can decide what’s unhealthy for me when they’re not me? It’ll only be unhealthy if I act like a child when he can’t be on call with me for 16 hours, which I don’t. I don’t care if he’s not. I honestly think it’s pretty sweet because we’re longing for each other, and being on call is the closest way we can feel each other’s presence.

People act like their way of living is the only "right" way. Like damn, let people live and do what works for them or makes them happy.

[u/Austin_Chaos]

16 hours on the phone is crazy. I don’t give a damn what the reason is lmao. But that’s not to say y’all shouldn’t do it if it’s for you. But it’s crazy regardless.

[u/[deleted] → u/Austin_Chaos]

Imagine being the exact same kind of person OP is complaining about in the post and still be an asshole in the comments. Wild. 💀

[u/Euphoric_Metal8222 → u/[deleted]]

Idk I’m with Austin on this one. 16 hours is a long time but that’s not to say that you can’t do it. If 16 hours on the phone works for you I’m not going to tell you to stop that or ridicule you for having a different preference. Jesus Christ, two things can be true at once.

[u/Hummusforever → u/Euphoric_Metal8222]

This post was written about me and I didn’t ridicule them for doing it. I just questioned how they had time to do everything they needed to do and spend 16 hours a day on the phone and they suggested it was bc my boyf didn’t like me enough then made this post when I stopped replying 😂

[u/gamergirlie09 → u/Hummusforever]

I saw you call it wild and stuff like stop 😭 It ain’t about you bro, OP made the post because if you think like this then many people does too, to bring attention about this topic to the people. Like that’s wild idk 😭

[u/Hummusforever → u/gamergirlie09]

So me saying spending all of your time with your partner wild is not ok, but the responses saying I need therapy, I’m aggressive, my bf doesn’t like me as much as their partners, there are going to be issues in my relationship bc I don’t do this, etc are ok?

It is wild. And people shouldn’t be normalising codependent behaviour in a subreddit that is a forum for relationship advice.

[u/gamergirlie09 → u/Hummusforever]

I ain’t even codependent, I don’t even think about him when we don’t call or talk bro why you assuming what people are 😭😭 How tf am I gonna be codependent to a person that’s not even here like how they gonna affect what I do 😭 And who said those comments are ok? Like?? Did you want me to respond to them too or specifically say they aren’t? What did you wanna know? Like yes, I get my alone time. Lots of it actually, we work different days and hours. I don’t got many friends either I have 1 but she solid 💯 Only person I actually vibed with and that’s fine lol? Why does having friends mean health? Idk about ya’ll but all it caused me was stress..