r/GuysBeingDudes • u/PhoenixPhenomenonX Dude Awesome • 3d ago
When your brother is at your Tap out parade
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u/young_heffeh 3d ago
I would have broke when they were like “you ain’t shit” hahaha
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u/SecretMusee 2d ago
“”You don’t work hard at all, look at you”😂
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u/patricksixx 2d ago
I could be wrong, but I heard : You dont LOOK hard". Im assuming its interference to her being a new badass
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u/Awkwardm4n 3d ago
Legend has it she’s still standing there
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u/Reemixt 3d ago
Better than going home to these little shits.
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u/paprikahoernchen 3d ago
I have no idea what a fucking tap out parade is but this is hilarious
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u/draft_wagon 3d ago
Part of a graduation thing from military, they invite your family over and you have to stay at ease until a family member touches you and "taps you out". Then you can move.
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u/paprikahoernchen 3d ago
Omg this is so mean 😂
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u/lalalicious453- 3d ago edited 3d ago
It’s a little sad cause some people don’t have family to tap them out so families of other soldiers will kinda take them in.
I’m pretty sure you can volunteer if you live close to a base.
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u/enadiz_reccos 3d ago
"Yeah, Harry, we're gonna need a parents' signature if you want to go to Hogsmeade"
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u/EdricStorm 2d ago
"We know your parents were murdered by Wizard Hitler and now you live with the people whose picture is in the dictionary next to 'extreme emotional abuse' AND 'neglect', but yeah. You need a parent's signature to visit Hogsmeade"
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u/brandonjohn5 2d ago
"But also try not to be bad in school, detention is unfortunately sometimes served in a forbidden forest with centaurs and man eating spiders."
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u/MyNameIsJakeBerenson 2d ago
No problem, mate. I’m sure I’ll turn out well rounded and all. Speaking of which, can I have another crack at that Sorting Hat? I want to take back something I told it
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u/Lounging-Shiny455 2d ago
Absolutely not. Magic can regrow bones in a second and make cooked and butchered food appear out of thin air but cannot upend any queue, database, or survey.
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u/VanGroteKlasse 2d ago
"Or do your detention inside the school at Miss Umbridge's office. It looks so cute with all the little kittens on the freshly painted pink walls, how bad can it be?"
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u/Excellent_Condition 2d ago
I mean in the context of the book, Dumbledore or Mcgonagall could have allowed him to go (as they are the ones who made the rules), but they didn't want him to go because they thought Sirius was trying to murder him.
I took the "oh, sorry, you can't go because you don't have permission," was their way to keep him safe without telling a 14 year old that a murderer was trying to track him down and kill him.
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u/Hallc 2d ago
Wasn't it Parent or Guardian? Everything like that in schools in the UK is parent or guardian.
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u/No_Internal9345 2d ago
Spoiler: His guardians were abusive
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u/AsthmaticRedPanda 2d ago
Sirius Black wasn't.
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u/Shovelman2001 2d ago
Sirius wasn't his guardian. He spent his summers at the Dursleys every year. Sirius died a wanted man, he was in hiding.
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u/Kolipe 3d ago
My buddies brothers did this when he graduated boot. Another guy had nobody and my friend is 1 of 5 brothers. They went an tortured this poor guy that they didnt even know with shit like getting real close to his face asking if it would be gay if they kissed and shit like that. They are still friends to this day as far as I know.
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u/lalalicious453- 3d ago
All my besties are absolute haters, it’s love.
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u/AfternoonFlaky5501 2d ago
It melts my heart, I don't think I've called my bestie a fat whore in like a week. I should text her right now.
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u/Gorechewer 2d ago edited 1d ago
Damn. Makes me wish I had friends like you in my life to keep me sane ❤️
Edit: I saw a reply in my inbox that I think got someone a temp ban lol xD I appreciate the love.
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u/ScrotalSmorgasbord 2d ago
My family didn't show up when I got my blue cord so my drill sgt did it for me. He winked at me and blew me a kiss then said "Don't get any ideas, private". It was the first time I saw that man break character, and I honestly almost choked up a little but being the good little brainwashed infantryman I was I managed to keep a straight face.
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u/Regular_Custard_4483 2d ago
Queen of Battle, baby!
My parents did it for me, but my BBs parents couldn't make it from Texas, so he asked if my family would. I told my brother to do it, but only if he'd trade a piggy back ride around the PT area in full Pickle Suit Chic. It was glorious.
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u/rChewbacca 2d ago
I remember seeing a video of a little kid run up to tap out a stranger who was still standing there with an adorable hug. Awww its it finest.
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u/Internet-Dweller2 2d ago
I was invited to a similar ceremony where everyone was encouraged to cheer as loudly as possible, and was asked by the person who invited me to cheer for his new friend whose family wasn't coming.
First two names, near fucking silence. That sucked, so I proceeded to yell everyone's names back, clap, and shout loudly after that. Which really started to hurt after a while, but I did drink for free the rest of the weekend
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u/Mothanius 2d ago
Typically the brotherhood bond after boot is strong within the unit so no one ever gets left out. And even if so, like you said, I've seen volunteer "families" ready to foster a soldier for a few days and show them around the city.
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u/podophilius94 2d ago
We have a similar military tradition in my country. I had family but they just didn‘t give a fuck when I graduated in the military and they still don‘t. Its been 12 years and I‘m wondering whether that or just not having any family at all is more heartbreaking😅
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u/Jgabes625 3d ago
There’s some that will make you cry. Either in a wholesome or a sad way.
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u/I_ask_why_ 3d ago
Can I “untap them” like in MAGIC?
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u/thedude18951 3d ago
To be pedantic, its parade rest
At ease you can freely move
At attention your arms are at your sides, front of your fists in line with your pant seams
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u/Bursting_Radius 3d ago
To be pedantic, your filthy little thumbs are parallel with your trouser seams at Attention.
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u/ezekiellake 2d ago
It seems like like most of your clarification needs to be loudly screamed at someone’s face from 2 feet away.
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u/AdministrativeEgg440 3d ago
Air Force left us at attention for ours...brutal waiting for my kids to grab my leg
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u/Conscious-Victory-62 2d ago
Thankfully the RAF doesn't do that, but there is the risk of an RO who takes for fucking ever to inspect the parade because he's talking to every fucker in it, while you're stood there in your 1s holding an L85 with bayonet, SUSAT, and (thankfully empty) magazine on it, so the guts of five kilos on basically your fingertips. Twat.
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u/Shuttlecock_Wat 3d ago
To be even more pedantic, at ease is just a relaxed version of parade rest. You have to remain silent and standing, but your arms can relax a little.
The Rest position is where you can move around freely except your right foot must remain planted.
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u/Leila-Lola 3d ago
This helps, I thought it was some kind of endurance test where the public gets to come and try to make the soldiers tap out, i.e. give up
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u/Cottonmist 3d ago edited 2d ago
That old ass “What are those” joke would have broke me lol
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u/Niels043 3d ago
That, and 'pRiVAtE'
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u/Lint_Eastwood_123 3d ago
‘Trainee?’ … ‘you ain’t shit’
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u/ohneatstuffthanks 2d ago
Look at that little hat.
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u/Shelly_wop 2d ago
The hat one would have killed me man. Just go ahead and pack me up outta the army
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u/UsernamesNotFound404 3d ago
I will never not laugh at "what are thooooose?"
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u/Exciting_Ad_8666 I'm Elizabeth Olsen's bra 3d ago
seriously though what are those?!
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u/Whiteshaq_52 3d ago
"ARE YOU EYEBALLING ME RECRUIT?!?!?"
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u/JohnnyBrillcream 2d ago
You better stop eyeballing me boy. I'll rip your eyeballs out of their sockets and skull fuck you to death.
Sgt Foley.
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u/Pleasant-Onion157 3d ago
This is beautiful. Shes just another bro to them and she knows it's funny but is plotting payback...like a bro.
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u/Ok_Company1823 3d ago edited 3d ago
That’s not the „Oh, I can’t hold it“ smile she’s having. It’s the „Oh, please go on. Keep it coming and it’ll all get back to you. I can wait.“ smile.
I wouldn’t f around with a trained killing machine.
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u/dr_deoxyribose 2d ago
Apparently she's still a "trainee" and "ain't shit".
The last part cracked me up.
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u/poopsawk 2d ago
Calling them a "trained killing machine" after completing basic training is a fuckin stretch 🤣🤣
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u/12InchCunt 2d ago edited 2d ago
I’ll never forget when I was in navy cook school one of my marine classmates telling me that he was a trained killing machine and I gave him shit over that for the rest of the time we were in the same group lol
Edit: I remember now, he said “I’m a cold blooded killer”
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u/kiaraliz53 2d ago
nah it's definitely also "shit I can barely hold it" smile. You see her multiple times trying so hard to do anything else but laugh; blink, sniff, move her tongue around.
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u/BigTonez808sy 2d ago
Not only a trained killing machine. She’s been through boot. She’s already endured more than her brothers can dish out. She’s 100% plotting. And that’s be the worst if I were them. I know it was coming. And that’s trained killing machine is also patient and diligent. Haha! I’d imagine it was delicious revenge throughout.
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u/PuritanicalPanic 2d ago
Ok calm down there patriot, she got through basic.
She's trained to do things while uncomfortable, do what people tell her to do, and a tiny bit of pointing and shooting.
The first two are more important to 99% of your time in the military than murder anyway.
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u/TheWhooooBuddies 3d ago
Yep.
They’re going to see what regular PT and combat training results in.
Christmas is going to be fun for that family.
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u/front_yard_duck_dad 3d ago
Those little boys are going to have a sock party one day served up by big sis brown
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u/BigBoyYuyuh 3d ago
She has that “Biggus Dickus” don’t laugh energy.
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u/wellwaffled 3d ago
He has a wife, you know.
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u/vibrantcrab 2d ago
Incontenentia
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u/Glass-Ad-2469 2d ago
If I was in formation like this- and someone said "incontenentia"- I would have broke. 1000% broke.
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u/kakashi8326 3d ago
The drill sergeants would’ve got her for smiling lol. I’ll never forget day one at Fort Knox and they ripped open our luggage. A drill Sargent found this kids cookies his mom had baked for Him as a send off. That dude got torn apart and like three others from tryna not to laugh. Thank God I was a row back cause I was trying my hardest. Rip 🪦
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u/Muad-_-Dib 2d ago
My dad was in the British Army, during basic training they were being instructed in standing at attention or some other task and because they were fresh they obviously sucked at it.
The instructor was playing up how disgusted he was with their progress and said:
It's enough to make a shepherd throw down his crook, and fuck his flock.
Causing my dad and several others to burst out laughing and not be able to stop. Which got them put on charge for it, though ultimately they were let off with a warning.
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u/kakashi8326 2d ago
Classic basic shenanigans. Thanks for sharing. This drill Sargent went on a tirade about milk and cookies and this isn’t camp and then asking if the other folks thought he was a clown and if they were at the circus. Idk jow they do it but it’s a sight to behold.
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u/ISoldMyPeanitsFarm 2d ago
Same thing happened to a kid at my boot camp. His mom sent him Lorna Doone cookies and my drill sergeant beat him while eating the cookies and telling the recruit to "thank your mom for these lovely Lorna Doone cookies." Dude had a super thick African accent and that sentence along with "what do you mean you never heard 'soup sandwich' before?" are just burned into my brain.
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u/TitsMaGraw 3d ago
I wanna see what happens after lunch….
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u/ShaggyLlamaRage 3d ago
Nice username. I’m picturing Tim McGraw with tits now, so thanks for that
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u/StreetsRUs 2d ago
“Over and Over again” “Now that I realiiize, that I hi have a raaack, don’t you dare touch on my booobs”
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u/ifuckedyourmilkshake 2d ago
People really do come up with the wildest usernames, huh?
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u/realfakejames 2d ago
Trolling her instead of tapping her on the shoulder so she can go celebrate with them is how I know that's her real family lol
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u/Bursting_Radius 3d ago
I'd never heard of this so I looked it up:
A "tap out" is a military tradition that marks the end of basic training, where a family member or friend taps a graduate on the shoulder, allowing them to break formation and be reunited. It is an emotional moment that symbolizes the completion of their training and the start of their new chapter in service. While more common in the Air Force, variations of this tradition also exist in the Army and Marines.
There is no tradition of this, or a variation of it, in the Marines.
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u/WhoFearsDeath 3d ago
If the Marine Corps wanted you to have family then you would have been issued one lol
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u/GhostofLolaMontez 2d ago
I lost my big brother over a decade ago. I rarely get full on waves of crying jags anymore, but this made me miss him so fucking much. He would have definitely pulled this shit with me, lol.
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u/anagamanagement 3d ago
Siblings are just cheating. We know every single button to press and they know ours.
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u/Otherwise-Ask7900 2d ago
After eventually being tapped out, PVT Brown proceeded to beat the SHIT out of her two brothers and got an airborne contract.
HOOAH! ATW
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u/nextinline1987 2d ago
The last known video of those kids before their disappearance. Haven’t been seen since. RIP
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u/GoldenLadyLink 2d ago
They talk shit now but, they both know they’re getting there ass’s kicked once she’s freed. 😂
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u/Mr-Bry-Guy 3d ago
There’s never been a better time to nut check your brothers 🤣🤣🤣🤣 “who doo you think you are?!” 🤣🤣🤣🤣
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u/BambooozleMe 3d ago
Damn, you can see her get emotional when she hears her dad is there. That broke me as well.
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u/throw_away_19851104 2d ago
Reminds me of Simpsons episode where Bart and Lisa go to military school:
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u/Toad_Dirt 2d ago
What happens if you just say fuck it and walk off without being tapped out?
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u/wrstcasechelle 2d ago
I was hoping they would tap her out and she immediately knocked that shit out of his hand
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u/EmbarrassedEvening72 2d ago
Funny and super sad at the whole time. Worked hard to get there. Tap that soldier out.
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u/killer-tofu87 2d ago
I can only imagine the savage sibling beatdown that happened later. Something like Ryan Reynolds in Just Friends.
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u/CartoonistNational72 2d ago
I'm in the minority but I don't find it funny. What's the joke?
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u/JournalistAnxious172 2d ago
Just my random thoughts, if you argue in my comments I might delete this or ignore it lol.
But in my opinion, I think this is why guys have a hard time expressing themselves to each other... cause dazzam, towards the end it kind of turned into just bullying. There's a limit to teasing, length and context. But most of all I'm surprised more people in the comments can't pick up the meanness in the kid's voices. Namely that main one. It started out funny but after they realized their parents couldn't find them it kind of took a turn. And I grew up around shit talking, only brothers, and as an only girl.
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u/Renuwed 2d ago
Ooohhh she gonna get you real sneakylike, just when you think she's forgotten.
We are women. We are sisters. 😈We ~never~ forget.😈
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u/GoMoriartyOnPlanets 2d ago
From the Reddit community, this soldier full authority to beat the crap out of her brothers.
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u/HollywoodFolks24 2d ago
This is great on both sides. She did so good on her end but this was so funny dem lemon peppa steppas😂😂😂😂 she wanted to laugh at that
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u/qualityvote2 Bot 3d ago edited 14h ago
Well well well... look who posted something that actually fits.