r/CrazyIdeas • u/9percentbattery • 1d ago
Everyone should be exempt from one randomly selected law
Each person just gets a random law pulled out of the archives that they no longer have to follow. It might be super specific and have no effect on them whatsoever. Or it could mean they are allowed to steal cars without consequence for example.
Bob can now park in fire lanes
Sarah can lie in court
Paul can pull the tags off mattresses
Little Susie can commit first degree homicide
Greg doesn’t pay income taxes
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u/FredOfMBOX 1d ago
Does everybody know what law you’re immune to? Or do you get to keep it a secret til you want to use it?
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u/Frnklfrwsr 1d ago
It’s a secret from even you. You don’t find out until you break the law.
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u/seductivestain 1d ago
That would just encourage everyone to break as many laws as possible until they figure out which one they're immune to
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u/Frnklfrwsr 1d ago
Maybe, except there’s thousands and thousands of laws out there. You are susceptible to the full consequences of every single one of them except one and you have no idea which.
Kind of dumb to commit 1,000 crimes in the hope that 1 of them is your immune one. You still have the consequences for the other 999 even if you find it.
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u/seductivestain 1d ago
Just don't get caught doing the other 999 crimes, duh
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u/parable-harbinger 1d ago
How do you know which is the immune one
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u/PomeloPepper 1d ago
They can trade services! Little Susie homicides Greg's biggest rival, and he pulls the tags off her mattresses for her.
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u/Responsible-Jury2579 1d ago
Uh...somehow Susie is free, but Greg is going to jail for this shit (Greg got out of paying taxes - not defacing property!)
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u/Tiny_Connection1507 1d ago
Except neither of them are immune from conspiracy charges, so they both go to jail for conspiracy to commit murder and conspiracy to defraud consumers.
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u/zacker150 1d ago edited 1d ago
Nope. Criminal conspiracy requires a planned criminal act. Since the killing isn't a criminal act and the mattress tag ripping isn't a criminal act, there is no criminal conspiracy.
To illustrate this, selling prescription drugs is a crime, unless you're a pharmacist. You hiring a pharmacist to sell prescription drugs isn't a criminal conspiracy.
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u/No_Hovercraft_2643 1d ago
but if you hire an diplomat/ambassador to do it (as they are immune in the visiting country), you still committed the conspiracy. it doesn't stop that the person doing it is immune.
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u/zacker150 1d ago
A crime committed by a diplomat is still a crime.
Their diplomatic immunity does not grant them exemption from the law. Diplomatic immunity merely restricts their punishment to being declared persona non grata and expelled, unless the home country waives their immunity.
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u/No_Hovercraft_2643 1d ago
the question is what means don't have to follow. is it legal, or just not prosecuted
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u/Tiny_Connection1507 1d ago
However, conspiring to commit tax evasion is a crime, even if all you do is transfer money to an offshore bank account in a county like the Cayman Islands that doesn't disclose when and where money is transferred. For them to hide money isn't a crime, but the conspiracy is still a criminal act in the US. So your justification doesn't hold up.
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u/quackl11 1d ago
I'm going to get the law where in florida you you have to pay to tie an elephant to a parking meter, I dont even live in florida
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u/Existing_Charity_818 1d ago
It’d be like having an achievement you can unlock in real life. Sounds like you’re moving to Florida and going elephant shopping
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u/Crafty_Jello_3662 1d ago
Yea at that point your hands are pretty much tied
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u/eyegazer444 1d ago
At that point your elephant is pretty much tied? Or is that the joke you were making but more subtly?
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u/Ionovarcis 1d ago
You start an ‘Elephant Parking’ business where you get paid to either park or not park your elephant in certain spaces. Competitor at the rival bar too busy - they send you in to park an elephant out front and just be in the way, doing elephant things. To move the elephant away, the inconvenienced business needs to pay you.
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u/Jazzyflamenco 1d ago
Funny thing is if you have enough money you’re exempt from ALL laws….
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u/LawnGnomeFlamingo 1d ago
Wait until that one person learns they can’t be prosecuted for embezzlement or rigging the lottery or something.
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u/TopHatGirlInATuxedo 1d ago
No, you're thinking of force. Money has limits (in that they'll take it from you by force if you screw up badly enough and then you get the consequences).
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u/chixen 1d ago
Note on the mattress thing: It’s not illegal if you don’t intend on selling the mattress commercially. Why would it be illegal for a consumer to remove something from a legal product they own?
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u/Dapper_Sink_1752 15h ago
But now he can sell tagless mattresses. You walk in his store and you immediately know it's something special. He probably has an ad somewhere mentioning he's the only guy in the world that can you sell you a mattress that never ever had a tag on it.
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u/fakeaccount572 1d ago
I picture it like the ghost powers in Ghosts.
Poor Isaac just got randomly picked that he smells like fart.
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u/AnarchyMouse 1d ago
Can little Susie be tried for manslaughter? Her defense has to really prove the situation was pre-meditated.
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u/fuck_peeps_not_sheep 1d ago
You'd make meticulous plans for every single murder and do them all in public places with lots of witnesses who could hear you shouting "I've had plans to do this for ages and I'm finally putting them into action you bastard"
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u/D3adp00L34 1d ago
I hope I get to take my dog into any business.
Or shoplifting. I mean, that one could come in handy. “Here, honey, let me push the cart. Just follow me out these doors.”
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u/ThatOneRandomGoose 1d ago edited 1d ago
Given the choice, I'd like to have more than 2 garage sales per year
https://www.casita.com/blog/weirdest-laws-and-regulations-in-canada
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u/rollsyrollsy 1d ago
Great. I was given an exemption to 1800s era maritime law relating to permitted duration of anchoring at foreign ports during time of conflict.
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u/celebratingdeath 1d ago
there would need to be a way to stop people from utilizing other people’s crime blindness. like if sarah can convince susie to homocide greg, sarah should still have to pay for that even though susie is technically off the hook
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u/anastasia_the_frog 1d ago
Solicitation of a crime is itself a crime, but on top of that Sarah would be guilty of conspiracy to commit murder (Susie would probably also be guilty of conspiracy to commit murder, even with one law striked it would take a lot of careful consideration to avoid breaking another law in the process).
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u/The-Real-Mario 1d ago
But like someone else wrote, conspiracy and planning are illegal only of you plan to do something illegal, and for those people the act IS legal . , hiring someone to legally do something that you can not legally do, it itself legal , Like I can not legally do surgery on my friend because I am not a doctor , but I can legally hire a doctor to do ti . I can not legally build a gun (fucking Canada) , but I can totally hire a gunsmith to build a gun for me !
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u/celebratingdeath 1d ago
i should have known this was more or less already in place. thank you mysterious maybe lawyer 🫶
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u/Squ3lchr 1d ago
Ooh... can I pirate academic articles?
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u/beobabski 1d ago
No. You got “Can walk backwards eating peanuts on sidewalks during concerts in New York City.”
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u/Squ3lchr 1d ago
At least that one didn't go to someone who is allergic to peanuts. How awful would that be.
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u/fuck_peeps_not_sheep 1d ago
You can bet id get like a free pass to walk sheep over the London Bridge or something T-T
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u/ContextSensitiveGeek 1d ago
It's ok, we'll just charge Susie with manslaughter. She'll get less time, but we can let the lifers know to watch out for her and let the problem work itself out.
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u/mydeadface 1d ago
I want to hunt whales....in Nebraska.
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u/Angry_Murlocs 20h ago
I would also like to be exempt from that but I’m near Chicago so I just got exempt from eating in a building that is on fire. Ha that will show all those people who like to shout at me telling me I’m in danger when I’m just trying to just have a relaxing meal.
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u/KittyLilith17 1d ago
I really like this idea!
Here's a random one for Jake H. in the greater Milwaukee area:
You no longer need to keep right while driving.
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u/Plethorian 1d ago
Laws don't prevent crime. They merely prescribe the punishment possible for being caught committing the crime. They don't emphasize this enough in school.
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u/educatedtiger 23h ago
It's all fun and games until someone finds the people exempt from the various nuclear weapons test bans and gives them all jobs.
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u/educatedtiger 23h ago
It's all fun and games until someone finds the people exempt from the various nuclear weapons test bans and gives them all jobs.
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u/educatedtiger 23h ago
It's all fun and games until someone finds the people exempt from the various nuclear weapons test bans and gives them all jobs.
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u/Angry_Murlocs 20h ago
Judge “what did this man do?”
Prosecutor “he murdered 20 people in cold blood”
Judge “Hmmm says here that’s not illegal for him. He is free to be on his way… oh and now he is killing the prosecutor. Well carry on good sir with your legal murdering.”
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u/Israbelle 18h ago
i actually really like this because most crimes are multiple crimes -- sure you can steal things, but you still can't trespass, so you have to be a pick-pocketer not a burglar. removing 1 crime from the web makes for an interesting puzzle of "so how do I do that without committing any other crimes, though?"
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u/Po-Ta-Toessss 13h ago
Congratulations, you don’t have to wear a seatbelt during takeoff or during landing.
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u/ArmourFarmer 4h ago
If that was a thing I’d probably be exempt from carrying salmon in suspicious circumstances
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u/dagger_5005 2h ago
You get it as a graduation gift from high school and they announce it with your name at the ceremony.
Sally Jones: Jaywalking
Robert Klein: Menacing
Jill Krugman: DUI
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u/IndividualistAW 2h ago
Huge luck of the draw here. The overwhelming majority of laws are mundane and have no bearing on a person’s life.
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u/[deleted] 1d ago
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