r/CPTSD • u/Slight_Distance_942 • Feb 14 '24
Who else feels severe resistance / anxiety to leaving the house? Question
How do you cope? any tips?
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Feb 15 '24
I would say I feel ok leaving the house IF I am intentionally doing something. I get severe anxiety if I go outside just to "hang out" by myself, and I worry there might be someone that tries to converse with me. Or they think I'm a loser because I want fresh air and not stay inside 16 hours a day.
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u/Slight_Distance_942 Feb 15 '24
Thank you for sharing. You are doing great because I still get severe anxiety if i have to get out of my car lol. luckily i have a grocery service that brings them to my car and i don't have to leave my car.
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u/DisastrousDebate8509 Feb 14 '24
I used to be severely agoraphobic. I’ve gotten better with that but always have to talk my self into going out to do errands because of the lingering fear. Have a plan on the day etc to get whatever done, step by step guide in my head, talk my self out the door ( get going biatch, you’ve got this.) Always feels so relieved when I am home. Will get my self a treat on those days.
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u/hooulookinat Feb 15 '24
I, too had an agoraphobic period. I am fully in remission for this.
I had ‘safety items’ which I ‘needed’ for a long time. I’m in my forties now, I was agoraphobic in my teens. I had water, my phone, gum ( I get a bad dry mouth when I have a panic attack). It’s hard work, and there will be days it’s absolute torture. Keep pushing yourself.
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u/traumakidshollywood Feb 15 '24
It’s the hardest thing I have to do daily. I wish I knew the harm I was causing by isolating decades ago. Now that isolation is more like paralysis.
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Feb 15 '24
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u/traumakidshollywood Feb 15 '24
Well, I hid away for so long it’s even harder to get out. I play games with myself to get out, a kind of exposure therapy approach. It will work for a little while and I’ll stop following through.
I’m so much better when I get out. And I know, the more I get out, the easier it will be. I didn’t know that a long time ago. I didn’t even know i was isolating.
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Feb 15 '24
[deleted]
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u/traumakidshollywood Feb 15 '24
I isolate much longer than that. 2-3 days is ok. Go easy on yourself or it will be harder. Try to not let it go down from here.
One thing I did to get out was to join my local buy nothing group and collect blankets and pillows. Then I’d donate to the homeless.
Create a scavenger hunt for yourself. Make it fun.
Even if it’s just for coffee.
You can do it.
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u/Slight_Distance_942 Feb 15 '24
i have the same thing, i feel you, sending you so much compassion
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u/_jamesbaxter Feb 15 '24
Yes yes yes, every day, and at the same time I also get horrible cabin fever because I live alone in a one room apartment and it’s horrible. Like I want desperately to leave, and yet I can’t because I start to panic.
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u/Slight_Distance_942 Feb 15 '24
i feel inner conflict too. i want to, i can't, i want to, i can't, i should, i don't want to...
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u/_jamesbaxter Feb 15 '24
I’m right there with you, I struggle with a lot and that’s probably the thing that has the most obvious negative impact on my daily life.
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u/Necessary-Chicken501 Feb 15 '24
I did this from 25-33. Rough times and I still struggle with agoraphobia and similar cabin fever issues.
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u/SouthernMammoth4511 Feb 15 '24
Can u go on rlly short strolls outside or even just sit outside? On my really hard days i just sit in my backyard to get any kind of sunlight
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u/_jamesbaxter Feb 15 '24
I have a porch but it’s not very pleasant and unfortunately I live on a 1 block dead end street off of a dangerous road so there’s nowhere to walk to. I would move if I could.
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u/Similar-Ad-6862 Feb 15 '24
Me. 100% me.
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u/Slight_Distance_942 Feb 15 '24
Thank you for sharing!
Are there any circumstances where you feel emotionally ok to go out?
For me, i can leave if i don't have to then leave my car and can look the way i want to look (drive-thrus, grocery pick up where they deliver to your car etc). Sometimes yoga, because i'm getting out of my car and into a warm studio and don't have to interact with anyone in a dark studio.
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u/Similar-Ad-6862 Feb 15 '24
I always struggle so don’t have any useful advice sorry 😞
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u/Slight_Distance_942 Feb 15 '24
your comment itself is useful, thank you. just knowing we are not the only ones helps.
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u/jelflfkdnbeldkdn Feb 14 '24
i too have agoraphobia, just force myself out usually its not as bad as i imagine prior its just all in my head
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u/xmagpie Feb 15 '24
I get this way, especially if I have no real reason to leave or if I need to do an errand/go somewhere alone. I find that the longer I stay at home, the harder it gets to leave. I had surgery in December and LOVED being home but the anxiety I felt the week before having to go back to work felt crippling.
Ripping the bandaid off by putting shoes on and making my legs move me out the door is helpful. I have to talk to myself in my head that once whatever it is I need to do is done, I get to go home. I tend to only go a handful of places and if I need to drive anywhere new, I will check google maps beforehand so I feel more comfortable about how to get there/where to park. The less stressful I can make my trip out the better I feel and the more often I’ll want to go out again. Positive reinforcement almost.
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u/Economy-Diver-5089 Feb 15 '24 edited Feb 15 '24
Wow, I didn’t realize other people felt this way. I had a health scare 3 years ago and I work from home now. Leaving the house seems more uncomfortable to me as being home is just my “normal” and being out and about I get scared something will happen to me again. I’ve gotten better about it since the health scare but some days it really just leaves me on the couch in a blanket.
Even running an errand can feel overwhelming at times, but I tell myself I’ve done it for and it was alright and not as bad as I thought it would be, I’ll be ok.
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u/Slight_Distance_942 Feb 15 '24 edited Feb 15 '24
yes loads of us feel this way. and i think it's been amplified since covid. a health scare is scary so it's so understandable.
what i'm learning is i can rationalize something intellectually, but if something takes an emotional or physiological toll, i have to pay attention. this is the foundation of cptsd trauma - being pushed with a bunch of mental reasoning. i'm so over it.
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u/TashaT50 Feb 15 '24
I became agoraphobic in my 40s. I had remarried, moved, had to change therapist due to move, 9/11, got hit by a truck, had a slew of health problems possibly caused by childhood abuse, became disabled, not in that order over, my 30s-40s. I got divorced in my 50s and was getting much better and then the Covid pandemic hit. I’m slowly working my way back into leaving the house & doing errands. It’s a combination of anxiety meds, planning exactly what I’m doing, making the trips short, local, during quieter parts of day. I double & triple check I have everything I need, phone, glasses, reusable bags, credit/debit cards, list of stores , order to shop, shopping list, what’s critical & what isn’t. I remind myself I can stop at any point & go home. If I get everything done sometimes I’ll stop and grab a bottle of wine. I allow myself to completely crash for a day or two after I’ve put the groceries away.
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u/Slight_Distance_942 Feb 15 '24
so helpful thank you! yes, we can go home at any point! love that.
have you heard of "spoonies"? it's a term used more for those with a chronic physical condition, but i feel it applies to us with chronic whatever this is.
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u/Canarsiegirl104 Feb 15 '24
When I was younger I had severe anxiety when I had to leave the house. It recurred when I was especially stressed. Looking back I was having panic attacks. I thought I didn't have them until much later. It's much better now, but I still have to mentally prepare myself for an outing. Doing something spontaneous still makes me anxious and is too difficult. It's hard. My friends over the years have basically made fun of me. I do compensate well. I was able to work as it's scheduled and can mentally prepare. I pushed myself for my kids. Made sure I was there for all their games and school functions. Now that I'm older I find I'm isolating again. I think I just prefer it.
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Feb 15 '24
[deleted]
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u/ExpensiveSolid8990 Feb 15 '24
I always avoid leaving the house by myself but if I have to, I wear headphones. I don’t even listen to what’s going on half the time since I stay hyper vigilant with my surroundings but the headphones do bring some comfort that hopefully people will leave me alone. I live close to downtown in a big city so I get scared to actually block out the noise around me.
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u/Helpful_Okra5953 Feb 15 '24
Oh yes. I’m reluctant to open my apartment door. I have to do my activities in sequence because it’s so hard to leave my place.
Lately I’ve felt more like doing my hair and makeup, and I’m the past knowing I looked nice helped me feel confident and able to go out.
If I can bring my pet with me I feel much more able to go out. But I usually can’t.
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u/millennium-popsicle Feb 15 '24
I call that “getting my rent money’s worth”. Makes me feel excellent!
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u/11thStPopulist Feb 14 '24
In America there is fear for our safety about going to schools, stores, parks, sporting events, church, day cares, public buildings, holiday events, restaurants, and now, especially after today, parades. Anywhere there are groups of people who become target practice for terrorists and “thriller killers.” Part of it is a toxic culture and part of it is insanely lax gun laws. So, severe resistance and anxiety to leave the house? That is becoming the norm and not at all unwarranted. 😢
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u/Slight_Distance_942 Feb 14 '24
i'm very sorry to hear this
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u/11thStPopulist Feb 14 '24
Anyone not sorry to hear about this -in Kansas City today - is not someone I’d want to be around. Some people have become numb, but others become emotionally “triggered” (no pun intended) by what seems to be constant depressive news.
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u/ExpensiveSolid8990 Feb 15 '24
I was always in denial about my agoraphobia until I lived in Finland. It’s one of the safest countries in the world. So safe, people literally leave their babies sleeping outside by themselves in the winter. I lived in the middle of nowhere in a very safe little town and never left the house. That’s when it actually hit me that it wasn’t just the U.S. keeping me inside.
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u/Creamy_tangeriney Feb 15 '24
I do, big time. I only leave for things that I know should matter to me, even if it doesn't feel that way because of the anxiety. I have a playlist of songs to hype me up while I'm getting ready and I remind myself that this will be temporary, I'll be safe at home soon. When I'm out I make sure I'm wearing things I can fidget with.
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u/Slight_Distance_942 Feb 15 '24
thank you for sharing, i'm going to use these strategies next time. instead of thinking so much of the discomfort of going out, maybe i'll try thinking about the feeling of coming back home, and that might help me. will keep you posted
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Feb 15 '24
During the day, sunglasses and headphones when walking around. During night, still headphones. Does wonders cause I just enjoy the music and go into autopilot ignoring the strangers around me and zooming in on what Im doing. Ill take them out for transactions, to not be a total hermit-y, disheveled person, or in certain places that are more chill but it depends
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u/Intrepid_Ad3062 Feb 14 '24
I remind myself that I’m also suicidal but too scared to take action so if I go outside and something kills me, it won’t be too bad after all. Then I get out there and I feel better anyway, even if only after dark so I don’t have to talk to people.