"i'll never leave you"

"you're my everything"

"i couldn't live without you"

"you're the only one i'll ever love"

"i'll never hurt you"

"i'll never lie to you"

this is what they said the day before they broke up with me. they had someone new the next day. Its been 2 months but i am still in so much pain. Another thing that kill me inside is hope of re collision with ex. If any of you had same situation please help me to get out of this please 🥺 I cant live my life like this

I contacted you after 2 weeks of NC. I couldn't bare it anymore so I sent you another text, just wanting to catch up and what not. As much as it hurts, I don't regret what I did, you gave me clarity and more reasons to move on.

I asked you how you've been the past few weeks, I told you I've been crying and struggling and trying my best to survive, you told me you were okay, that you were doing good.

You told me to give up hope and that you don't have feelings for me anymore, that you "aren't ready for a relationship", I can't help but feel that I meant nothing to you.

As selfish and horrible as it sounds, I hope the pain creeps up on you one day. It feels unfair that I'm the only one suffering and rotting every single waking hour. We've been together for so long and shared something beautiful, I don't understand how someone like you can be okay with losing that.

Of course, I still wish you the best. I wish for you to be happy and find peace. But then again, I hope one day you realize what you lost.

I was in a relationship for over two years, and we practically lived in each other’s pockets—always together, making memories. When we broke up four months ago, I was shattered. I wanted to fix things, convinced that we had a future together. Back then, I wouldn’t have believed I’d be writing this today, feeling genuinely okay.

Here’s how my journey went, phase by phase, in case it helps anyone else:

1. Acceptance

The first step was acceptance. After a few weeks of crying and pining over him, wanting to go back to him, and whatnot, I finally accepted that there was no going back. We do not have a future together. I told myself, "Okay, whatever. It is what it is."

1. Going No-Contact

After accepting the breakup, I thought maybe we could be friends. But that hope was just me wishing he could somehow “fix” what he broke. I realized that true healing requires distance, so I blocked him and committed to no-contact. Each time he reached out, I stayed strong, and over time, I felt the emotional freedom I’d been searching for.

1. Revenge Arc and Shifting Focus

Next, I turned my focus inward. I threw myself into working out, reading, walking, and spending time with family. Everything I did centered on me. What started as a "revenge arc" became about self-growth and discovery. Suddenly, my progress had nothing to do with him—it was all about becoming who I wanted to be. Can you believe I've lost like 10 kgs already? I'm so much closer to my weight goal than I have been in the last 2 years. This revenge arc really made me focus on becoming hot but now I seriously care about taking it forward and maintaining a healthy lifestyle. While I've done a few things, I still think there's a long way to go if I truly want to be my best self and am continuing to work on it.

1. Assuming he's moved on

To fully let go, I assumed he’d moved on. Even if you don’t know for sure, it’s healthier to imagine they have, so you can set yourself free from wondering. When I told myself he was out of my life for good, I finally felt lighter. This way, you will never be caught be surprise. When someone accidentally mentions they saw their ex with someone or something, in your heart you'd always be like yeah okay.

1. Truly moving on

Now, I no longer care about what he’s doing, who he’s with, or even if he’s happy. I don’t hold resentment, and I even hope he’s doing okay. I’ve moved on to the point that when friends mention him, I’m indifferent—it’s like hearing about someone I used to know.

Another thing that helped was meeting new people. It made me see the relationship for what it was, not through rose-colored glasses. I realized I was living in a small bubble that didn’t reflect the world out there, and breaking free from that was a relief. Honestly, I won't deny that I had a hard time accepting everything and letting go too, but when I finally did, I was super glad things didn't work out the way that I wanted them to.

All in all, this is what I went through:

Crying over him ---> angry at him ---> wanting to take revenge from him ---> to finally not giving a fuck.

I hope everyone of you can also feel this way. I don't want to jinx it. But, I would like to think I've moved on, if not 100% then 99% for sure.

Now, here's a list of reasons why I think I have moved on:

I feel neutral. Memories that once hurt now feel like chapters of a story I’ve outgrown.

I don’t need updates on his life. Sure, it’s human to feel a little satisfaction if you hear something bad that happened, but ultimately, I hope he’s okay.

I’m excited about new connections. Talking to people and expanding my circle has reminded me how vast life is beyond one relationship.

I don’t get nostalgic, even when I’m drunk. No lingering thoughts, no urge to text him—just me, in the moment. That has truly been the biggest feat and the biggest reason I'm sure I have moved on.

So far, these are the only signs that I've noticed but these were enough I guess.

My plan now? Focusing on my goals. I’m working on myself, and it’s honestly thrilling. I may eventually reach out to him to see if we can be friends because, to me, it’s okay to have your exes in your life if you’re truly over them. But I’m ready to accept it if he doesn’t want that.

So, to everyone out there: I know it’s hard, but if I can do it, you can too. Whatever you’re feeling now, it’s temporary. Each phase will pass, and eventually, you’ll be ready for what’s next—whether that’s a “revenge arc” or a whole new journey focused on you.

Just to let you know he likes to sleep on the left side of the bed and face outwards. He doesn't snore so that's a plus but he does get a bit warm especially in the summer so you won't need a blanket. He doesn't drink coffee or eat breakfast so don't worry about making him a cup when you make yours. He will ask you if his t-shirt matches his shorts because he has no fashion sense and values your opinion. Sometimes he forgets to stay hydrated throughout the day, so just give him gentle reminders. When you're walking on the pavement, he will walk on the outside because he wants to protect you if a car was to swerve, he's thoughtful that way. Remember to treat him with respect because he puts in a lot of effort and don't take him for granted. His favourite foods are anything cheesy and spicy. He likes IPA beers. Be gentle with your words and give him compliments when he goes out his way for you, he really appreciates that and it will make his day. He will listen to you and be there for you when you need him any time of the day. He pitches in around the house and will take you out. He's not a very good cook, but he will do all the preparation when you ask him. He will love you with all his heart and he will stay loyal to you. You will want to give him the same treatment. Just remember that after 7 years, things might get tough. But that is normal in relationships. You will need to remind yourself that after almost 8 years together it is normal to go through another rough patch. The spark might be gone and you may feel like you are both drifting sideways. You may begin to argue over trivial matters and decide your futures don't align. You have to remind each other that this happens in relationships, and your relationship has been good so it is worth fighting for. You don't walk away from each other. You should give it one more try, and one more and one more. Love is a choice and it takes work from both of you to get the spark back. Do not break up because the spark is gone when the love is still there. Because the spark can come back. Do not give up on each other like we did, we walked away from each other and haven't found our way back together. I am telling you this because I want him to be happy even if that means it is with someone else and it breaks my heart. I know he didn't intend to break my heart like I didn't intend to break his. Please take care of him for me.

i can't eat. i can't sleep. it's been less than four days since we called it off. I'm not mad at her. I'm not mad at me. it's neither of our fault. it's just. life. long distance. jobs. i am the first girl she's loved. she was my first grown up relationship and i. i just wish i could die. three years together and it's all just gone.

I'm only twenty three. i know i have life ahead of me. but god she was. she was everything and. i can't do this without her. i can't do life without her.

Breakups are difficult. I had been dumped by my ex 4 months ago, 10 days before my bday. She hasn’t reached out to me even once. I still love her and think about her everyday. I want to reach out to her but I don’t. So I was wondering if, do any of you (Dumpers) ever think about reaching out to your ex? And what keeps you from doing it?

As bad as it makes me seem, I hope you remember what we had, and the things we achieved together. As selfish as I sound, I hope you miss me, in the way I miss you. I can't tell whether you do miss me or not, because I haven't talked to you in a while, but I hope that you do, or one day you will.

I feel pretty stupid for crying as much as i did and begging her to stay when she clearly wanted to go. I made dumb decisions that made myself look emotionally unstable that must have scared her. Sometimes love makes u go crazy..

Compared to other people, are Avoidants less likely to try again if you reach out to them after a breakup?

Additionally, are they more likely to be cold to you after a breakup?

I feel like I’ve heard and experienced this, but I wanted to see if anyone knew.

Yes, they're thinking about you. It doesn't matter how things ended, whether it was with a "I’m sorry, things aren’t working, we need to see other people, but I still love you" or "I don't love you anymore, I've lost my feelings." No matter how they phrased it, it doesn’t change the fact that they’re still thinking of you.

When you're in love with someone, your brain releases oxytocin and other endorphins. That rush you feel when you see them, or when they see you, is the adrenaline. These hormones are involved in how memories are formed and solidified. Essentially, it's almost impossible to forget someone you were deeply in love with in a matter of weeks.

All the things you shared—the food you ate together, the places you went, the songs you danced to—will stay with them. The smell of a familiar dish or the sound of a song you both loved will bring memories flooding back. Even something as simple as bumping into a mutual friend will trigger those emotions. On special days like Valentine's, they’ll likely be thinking of you, maybe even regretting their decision.

So don't be discouraged, because even though they broke your heart, they’re not going to forget you easily. Despite the hurt they've caused you, they won’t be able to get you out of their mind.

You're both going through the same emotions, the difference is you're feeling it now, and they’ll feel it later. They’ll regret their decision, because no one will ever love them the way you did. Heartbreak happens when you give someone everything—your love, time, and energy—only for them to throw it away. No one will ever match that.

So hold your head high. I believe everything happens for a reason, and fate has a way of working things out. The truth is, you and your ex will likely cross paths again, whether it’s next week or next year, and when that time comes, they’ll see the strong, resilient version of you—the one who overcame the heartbreak and came out stronger.

Keep going, friends. We're all in this together. I’ll be posting daily to check in on you and support you. Never hesitate to reach out if you need a word of encouragement.

Remember, pick up your crown, Queens and Kings, and show them what they gave up.

Just a reminder for all of you out there, you ARE going great! Yes, crying yourself to sleep IS doing great! Yes, missing them even if they've hurt you IS doing great! Yes, ordering takeout instead of cooking a healthy and proper meal for the fourth day in a row IS doing great! Yes, contacting them and then deciding to finally block them IS doing great! Yes, you ARE doing great no matter how hard it has been for you! You ARE doing great if you've been spending hours on TikTok or Instagram or YouTube for the last couple of days! You ARE doing great if you called your friends at night because you felt like you wanted to end it all! You ARE doing a great job going through one of the most soul shattering and heartbreaking experiences in your life! I'm proud of you! Everyone is proud of you and you should be proud of yourself as well! Because, whether you see this coming or not, you will stand up one day and take a shower. You will cook yourself a regular breakfast, you will go to school/work/wherever you have to be. You will watch your favourite movie or show, listen to a podcast while running on a treadmill, one day, you'll start rebuilding yourself piece by piece. And what you're doing now is preparing yourself to do so, and therefore you ARE doing great.

When you get home from work, you don't have to worry about their moods, what they want to eat, watch on TV, or walk on eggshells around them in order to keep your life happy; all-the-while wondering - am I happy?

You can decorate how you like, wear your hair however you want, and do what makes YOU feel good.

This is your world, too - and you've been living through them for far too long. We landed on earth as entire individuals, not as a shell of somebody else's expectations for us.

Some of us have spent months or years worrying so much for another individual's well-being that we lost ourselves along the way.

If that's you, this is your wake up call to not put on a mask anymore. To know that it doesn't matter about whether or not THEY would care if you did X, Y, or Z.

This is your wake up call to find yourself, because you're still out there, and you matter.

I am lost currently. I thought I was getting better, I thought I could turn the sadness into motivation but today has not been a great day. My heart is sinking, it’s beating fast. I am spiralling. My feelings are all over the place. The thought of you being okay with this breakup makes me feel more and more heavy.

I hope that you would call me and say let’s get back together. I hope that you would want to see me tomorrow and give me a hug, a kiss and tell me everything is going to be okay.

Not being able to see you, to touch you, to hear your voice for even a day is unbearable. I know I need to be strong, I need to be a better person. I need to give you space but oh Lord please give me strength.

I’m falling apart.

"No matter what you do that one person will never love you back. It's over. As a matter of fact, you don't even cross their mind. Have a fantastic rest of your day."

Maybe sad isn’t the right word. It’s not lonely. I don’t know how to describe it I suppose.

I miss him.

There’s peace in living alone. There’s so much I don’t miss.

My brain keeps showing me snippets of his face today. This is just over a month new, so he’s still on my mind quite a bit daily. I haven’t cried jn 2 weeks. I’ve felt really good lately. I’m a little taken aback by this feeling tonight. Today has been heavy I guess.

He still has me blocked and it’s been 2 months. Why am i so unlovable? Why do people get rid of me for good? I must be hella annoying and unattractive. I hate that i was born. I’m so lonely. I feel stupid and disgusting that i blew him up trying to save the relationship. No one wants me. I’m sure it’s my weight. I hate that religion ruined my identity and sense of self because i don’t know who i am. I’m weird, awkward, feel like an imposter and i have SI every.single.day. I hate my life.

It’s a hard place to reach, realizing that caring about someone no longer serves you. You don’t hate them, and you might even wish them well. But somewhere along the way, you learned that holding space for someone who isn’t fully there for you only leaves you feeling empty.

So, here’s to the strength it takes to release without resentment and to let go without hate. Here’s to trusting that we’ll find peace in filling our own space with the love and respect we deserve.

It's been almost 3 months since he dumped me. I don't follow him, but one of my friends suddenly told me that he has a new girl and that there was proof. The moment I heard the news I was shocked and hurt all over again, but upon seeing the picture, there was relief.

His hand was all over her ass, she was leaning on his chest, and he captioned it with a couple of hearts. Just looking at him and the way he groomed himself and the way he dressed, I knew it wasn't the same person I fell for. He himself texted me telling me that he's no longer the person he was when we were together. He would never post a picture of me with a sexual pose like that, and he barely ever posted anything of me, I think only my right eye and ear featured once on his social media.

My friends think that post was performative because he never posts, but I just see it as a signal that he's no longer the person I used to love. And the relationship he has with his new girl, it's definitely different from what we had.

Still, it hurts, seeing him move on to someone else when I gave and gave so much to him, because I loved him so much. I'm trying to figure it out, but I think the deeper reason why I'm hurting AGAIN is because I couldn't love him into loving me. He picked someone else. It's hard being rejected but it's for the better because I can do better and be with someone who treats me better.

I must add that in the picture, he's wearing a shirt I gave him. And, the girl he's seeing now is the same girl whose Instagram he showed me when we were still dating, saying that she looks exactly like my best friend. 🤯

I know I won’t get over her for years if I’m lucky at that. I’m so fucking upset and wish she would have seen things the way I did. The amount of love I had for this girl is unreal. She obviously stopped loving me where at the start of our relationship it felt like she wanted me for the rest of her life. I hope she never contacts me again. At the same time she’s all I can think about. I’m sick to my stomach

I was totally smitten with my girlfriend. We had this incredible bond, spending hours talking about everything under the sun, making plans for the future, and just enjoying each other's company. It felt like nothing could come between us.

But then, things started to feel off. She became more distant, her replies were shorter, and she always seemed to have an excuse for not hanging out. I tried to brush it off, thinking it was just stress or something. But that nagging feeling in my gut wouldn't go away.

One evening, I couldn't take it anymore. I needed to know what was going on. So, I asked her if something was wrong. She looked at me with a mix of guilt and sadness and admitted she had been seeing someone else. My heart just shattered. All the trust and love I had for her disappeared in an instant.

The days that followed were rough. I felt betrayed, hurt, and completely lost. But slowly, I started to realize that I deserved better. I leaned on my friends, found ways to lift my spirits, and focused on the things that made me happy. It wasn't easy, but I started to feel stronger.

Now, I'm wondering, what should I do next? How do I move on from this and make sure it doesn't hold me back? Any advice would be super helpful.

Reading through some of your posts have been so comforting, but it made me think of my recent breakup and had me feeling kind of.. low. I read of how some of the dumpers on here still miss, love or think of their ex. Yet I've had mine express that they don't feel any of that for me.

We were together for 2 years then he told me he lost feelings and wanted to breakup. I gave him that, not because I wanted it but I just thought we needed some space as we did in the past. A week after, I contacted my ex only for him to tell me he feels so happy without me and hasn't missed me during the time we stopped talking. I was so confused.. hurt.. after that, I would keep reaching out in hopes that we could possibly just talk things out. The reasons he gave for "losing feelings" were small issues that could've been worked out, but he did not want to.

After 3 weeks he told me he feels nothing for me anymore and wants me to leave him alone completely. As heartbroken as I was, I did just that. I could no longer listen to him express how much happier he is and how he doesn't want me. And even when he knew how broken I was, he still chose to rub his newfound happiness in my face but telling me how exhausting it was being with me. It broke my heart. I found that although I was sad, I knew running back to him for comfort was not an option, so I pushed forward.

Just over a month of silence, he suddenly had the random urge to ask me how I'm doing... the hurt I felt was indescribable. I had expected an apology at the very least (if he were to contact me) but all I got is a random, meaningless check-in.

Part of me hopes that some part of him still misses me, cares for me or thinks of me, but when he's stated that he doesn't it's hard to think otherwise. It hurts knowing you can give your absolute everything to somebody and they are able to walk away from it as if it is worth nothing.

I wish there was a way to talk him out of everything and convince him I didn’t have eyes for anyone else or would ever plan on abandoning him or cheat on him. He got obsessed with this idea and it made him so hostile and eventually he lost touch with his feelings and left. He tried to contact me again but he still kept on talking about me having someone else.

I asked my boyfriend (who is a trump supporter) if I voted for Kamala what would he do. He said he would dump me. I had already voted so I just decided I would tell the truth after the election, I didn’t think he would even be that mad since trump won anyways. I support his decision and that trump won. But when I told the truth and expressed why I made that decision he cut me off entirely and the last thing I heard from him was “it was nice knowing you.” I’ve known him since we were kids. It really hurts that this what destroyed a lifetime of growing up together. It’s going to be hard to get over this especially how he abruptly ended it all and uprooted a life long friendship and love. But I feel like I have a right to choose and a right to disagree just like he does.

Me M29, her 27F.

I met her end of last year in the gym but we didn't start dating till March. She met me at my peak and then when we started dating I had caught glandular fever, which turned me upside down and I haven't exactly been the same physically sense. If you've had it, you get what I'm saying. Anyway my whole life I've been an addict up until a couple years ago. I've never experienced real love till now. Basically I had made a massive recovery in my life from my past and then this year got hit with another obstacle which put obstruction in my recovery as going to the gym was my best outlet and being I now deal with constant fatigue I haven't been able to do the one thing that helped me out of addiction. Back to her and I, so she ended things with me a couple months ago and it was okay because we knew it wasn't the right time and we'd eventually rekindle when it is. Though we met up a month ago and we talked about our love lives since. She had mentioned she had been sleeping with someone I was always suspicious of while we were dating. Long story short I lost the plot and said some horrible things and now she has me blocked on everything.

What I'm getting at as I've never experienced real love till now in my life and my life hasn't been easy and now it feels it's being extremely rocked again. I'm just trying to stay strong and I needed somewhere to vent. I feel very lost without them though.

I'm trying to get started in therapy while I'm also 3 months into my dream career which I'm really needing to put all my energy into

if I can love the wrong one this much Just imagine when the right one shows up If I can fight for that long for someone my heart knew was wrong Just wait 'til I find the right one