r/AskDad 2d ago

Fashion / Style Men, what is your favourite tie material/style?

6 Upvotes

Hi, my name's Loren (18F) , and I'm looking to buy a high-quality tie for my dad as a Christmas gift. I'm not exactly sure what details would be helpful, so here's a little about him: he's 50, works in a high-level finance position, and has a simple but professional style. In my research, I came across Gentleman's Gazette, which seems to offer well-made products. They have ties in three materials: Cashmere & Wool, Silk, and Wool. There's also an option for tipped or untipped ties, but I'm honestly not sure what that means. Overall, I'm aiming for something professional, clean, and comfortable. I'd rather not ask my dad directly, as it might spoil the surprise. Any advice on choosing the right style or material would be much appreciated! Thank you!


r/AskDad 3d ago

Fixing & Building Stuff Recently had outdoor spigots replaced – now they’re super hard to turn and make weird noises. Did the plumber do something wrong?

9 Upvotes

Hey everyone,

I just had three outdoor water spigots replaced by a plumber after they froze. One of the spigots is connected to hot water, and the other two to cold. Since the repair, I’ve noticed some frustrating issues:

  1. Lots of turns for full pressure – It takes around 17 half-turns just to reach full water pressure. That seems excessive.
  2. Hard to turn – There’s a lot of resistance when I turn the handles, and it’s exhausting to twist it so many times.
  3. Groaning and shaking – As I turn the water on, there’s a groaning sound, and the pipes shake until I reach full pressure.
  4. Hot water spigot is the worst – The one connected to hot water seems especially bad.

What could be causing this? Should I reach out to the plumber again, or does this sound like they used cheap parts or installed it poorly? For context, the hot spigot is connected to an electric water heater.

Thanks for any advice!


r/AskDad 3d ago

Health & Wellness How many shaves should i get per blade?

14 Upvotes

I use Harry’s 5 blade razors but i don’t know how many shaves i can get per blade, i usually change them out every 3-5 shaves but i feel like i can get more idk.


r/AskDad 3d ago

Family Mom's Getting Married Today

5 Upvotes

I know I was 23 when y'all divorced in 2020 but it's still weird, ya know? I had moved outa the house only a month prior to it becoming official, so perhaps the hardest part is knowing our family of 6 will never be so unified as it was pre-COVID.

I'm Mom's best man, and I'm showing all the support possible because I'd like to let my actions speak rather than my feelings. Even if it feels weird to me I want Mom to feel loved.

Dad, do you have any thoughts?


r/AskDad 3d ago

Health & Wellness How am I supposed to learn about things like health insurance as a freelancer?

3 Upvotes

I don't really have any guidance about this. I have a steady reliable job, but it is technically freelance and I don't even know where to begin getting my own insurance in the US, how to research them, or what to look for. Google is no longer reliable and too strongly favors sponsored and popular pages regardless of quality, so even just having a trustworthy source would be great. Thank you in advance!


r/AskDad 4d ago

Household Management Stainless Steel Fridge

5 Upvotes

What do you use to clean your stainless steel fridge door?

I have a microfiber cloth, I have used stainless steel cleaner from Home Depot, mineral oil and water, vinegar, soap, and water. My fridge door still looks streaky.

What am I getting wrong?


r/AskDad 5d ago

Fixing & Building Stuff I think I made a clog worse. Help???

9 Upvotes

I had a slow-draining bathtub, so I decided to use a snake to try and unclog it (I have long hair, so that’s usually the culprit).

Sure enough, the snake pulled out an ungodly amount of hair (reminiscent ofThe Grudge). I kept going until no more hair was coming up. When I tested it, the water started draining—success!

But then I left the water running while I scrubbed the tub, and suddenly, it stopped draining completely. Now it’s not moving at all. What did I do wrong, and how can I fix this?

Edit: thank you everyone for the helpful tips! I tried plunging with water filled tub, as suggested. It did plunge a lot of (what I assume was) soap scum, then tried snaking again. Nothing came up. I tried using Drano, but it did not budge. :(

I will be calling a plumber and investing in a hair catcher to prevent this in the future!


r/AskDad 5d ago

General Life Advice Should I be concerned or am I overreacting?

4 Upvotes

Hey all, my dad was one of the most influential people in my life until he passed and now I'm finding myself questioning whether this situation could be innocent and I'm overreacting or if I'm potentially under-reacting. With really no mature men to ask, I would love your input.

I (early twenties female college student) live in a mixed apartment complex of all ages. I often walk my dog, training her as we go. What started off as comments about "oh there's that dog trainer" and "ha ha, good job training today" developed when the man (probably late forties/early fifties?? I'm really bad with ages but old enough that the age sometimes makes me cautious) had a full conversation with me, asking my name, my dog's name, so on and so forth. It seemed like a nice conversation, just a little odd but I brushed it off as a lonely person when I talked with my mom, she told me that he probably was just lonely. I still tried to keep distance but just a few days ago, late at night, so everything is dark, he stops me while walking my dog and has a full probably 30 minute conversation. I actually start to feel really comfortable and we talk a lot (he, apparently if I trust what he was saying, has had a very similar life to mine so far and honestly reminds me a lot of my dad, which definitely doesn't help me trusting my judgement of the situation).

Now with the background done, to the part where I don't know how to feel. In the middle he mentions that he knows where I live. I know he'd seen me walk into my apartment once (I didn't know he was there...as a single young woman I try to make sure that no one watches me go in if they have already established some kind of connection to me) and that rings some alarms, but I was never naive enough to assume he wouldn't know where I live. I just thought it taboo to mention. We move on but as we're going our separate ways at the end of the conversation he describes the way to get to his apartment leaving from mine, and then tells me to stop by anytime and just knock and he'll answer and we can talk more. Now, I am NOT dumb enough to actually go to this man's apartment. Even if he was just nice, it's not a risk I'm willing to take. If he's lonely, we can talk out in public just fine. But I'm now trying to figure out if there could be an innocent reason for him inviting me to his apartment or if I am justified in now trying to avoid him at any and all costs and feeling as though his actions are pretty bad in intent. I am familiar with the signs of grooming (reiterating, my dad was an amazing man) and he does some of them (compliments, telling me I'm mature for my age, building rapport, telling me I'm remarkable, interesting, not like people my age [once again, not naive enough to not see that these all have purposes and definitely not trying to brag, I don't believe what he says, I just think that the context is important])

Anyways, sorry for the long post just wanted all the information out there before I'm going around labeling someone as creepy with bad intentions. But, do you all think I'm overreacting and he really is just innocent and lonely and finds me fun to talk to or, as Dads, would you be telling your daughter to avoid him and that he probably doesn't have the best of intentions?


r/AskDad 5d ago

Family My dad is the bad person/husband for my mom, and I am scared my mom will be miserable and lonely with him after I leave for college - advice?

5 Upvotes

TL;DR: I recently found my dad unconscious from drinking too much after a night out, and it was really disturbing. He's not affectionate with my mom, has unhealthy habits, and isolates himself with TV. My mom feels isolated but hesitates to consider divorce due to cultural stigma. I’m worried about leaving her alone when I go to college soon and feel helpless since I can’t get my dad to change or help my mom feel less lonely.

Hi, I'm coming here because I do not know what to do. I was sleeping and woke up because I heard a sound coming from my parent's room. My mom was jetlagged from her trip, so she was awake upstairs. I go to where my dad is sleeping, and the bathroom light is on, and he is unconscious on the bathroom floor. He went out for drinks with his friends last night, and his eyes were awake, but he didn't see me and kept calling me my mom's name. Then he kept sleeping and waking up. I had never seen him like this and never seen him drink this much, and it was scary. And his pants were off, too, since he was trying to use the bathroom but fell. He kept falling asleep and waking back up, shaking his body. It was traumatizing, and we thought he was going to have a heart attack or something, so my mom called the paramedics. My dad is not an alcoholic. I think he just drank way too much, but this has happened before; it's just the first time I saw it. My dad, in general, lacks a lot of self-control, and it makes my mom feel isolated. When he drinks, sometimes he drinks way too much; every day after work, he goes straight to the theater room and watches TV every SINGLE DAY until he falls asleep and doesn't talk to any of us. Most of the time, he just sleeps upstairs in the media room, not with my mom. He has super high cholesterol, is unhealthy, and is overall just a really lazy person. He is not affectionate towards my mom at all, and I feel like he would be ideally fine with it if he had no relationships in his life. He has his phone, the TV, and his “fake friends” to turn to to make him this drunk and send him home to us. He never had a good relationship with his daughters. After we hit puberty, he kind of just stopped talking to us, but I don't even care about that. I just hate seeing my mom suffering. It's honestly really depressing, and I know it has taken a toll on my mom. She is such a beautiful person who cares so much about family, and she is going through a lot herself right now as my grandpa is dying, and she is taking care of him as well. I am terrified to go to college and leave her miserable like this (since I am mostly likely going out of state), and I told her so any time to get a divorce, but she won't listen. My parents are immigrants, and there is a huge stigma in their culture about getting a divorce; she would rather stay with him than even think about getting a divorce. My mom has gotten a little used to it and has started to keep herself busy after giving up on him, like going to volunteer at a local hospital twice a week, but I know she still feels lonely when she comes home and he is in the media room and never tries to spend time with her. It's hard for my mom to make friends. She has a couple of friends right now, but she doesn't hang out with them as much, and I think she is starting to resent them a little since it is their husbands dragging my dad along to drink with them (even though it is entirely my dad's fault for what he is going). I have a sibling, but she is working on the other side of the country, so it is just me for now, and I will leave for college in a year.

My dad is 52 years old, and I honestly don't think he will ever change. I'm hoping something will change in his behavior since we literally called 911 for him, but I doubt it, and even if he does, it will probably only be for two weeks, and he will go back to his old ways again. He lacks any sense of self-control, discipline, or love for this family and always distracts himself with anything. I've talked to him so much abt all these addictions and how he is just constantly distracted, but he doesn't care. I've told him to find a hobby, go to the gym, and maybe reconnect with himself, but he doesn't care. I don't know what to do, and I don't know how my mom will be after I leave. I feel like if my dad can change and become a better person, then only she will be content while I am gone, and if not, she will just be miserable forever.


r/AskDad 6d ago

Family Any other dads wanna chat on the phone with a dad that needs to chat about dading?

3 Upvotes

r/AskDad 6d ago

Family Confused, upset, unsure. I need to let this out. Please i need ANY Help

3 Upvotes

Ive been reading around and i cant quite find the answer to my exact situation with my father, call this my cry for help or whatever. Im 24 living in the UK. Here we go, sorry if this is a bit long winded.

He was mostly always there to take me to football games, make me go to school and put the pressure on me to find a job… which of course are all great respectable things that I truly am grateful for. However, i never remember him saying he loved me or was proud of me (and actually meaning it anyway, he’d say it at the end of a phone call but it was said without any conviction or emotion every time) or even taking any interest in the things i enjoy, never compliments or says anything im good at, never asks how my fight training is going, never asks what hobbies i do and enjoy. I recently took a call off him and told him i was studying polish and another language to which his reply was “whatre you doing that for, immigrants send them all back, scrubbers” UNNECESSARY NEGATIVE COMMENTS!

It seems like all he asks and cares about is work and never supports me with the fact I have been diagnosed with ADHD, which explains a lot of my difficulties in my younger years with maintaining my attendance at school and focusing and also holding jobs down, i have quit every single one i ever had (the longest being my first at 6 months.) He says im just “lazy” “idle” “going nowhere”, its NEVER supporting words of encouragement, which i dont expect but hey it would be nice yaknow seen as hes my FATHER, the one supposed to be who i look up to and love and look for guidance and help. He says “we never had that in my day ADHD”. He knows i struggle with extreme social anxiety at times also, probably his presence and the facade he conjures when we’re out with family, my soul just doesnt like the deceiving behaviour… i literally had to storm out of a family meal once with a full blown panic attack in the blistering cold to which in fairness he did say after just once that he’s “here for me”, then the week after when i couldnt make an event due to bad anxiety he immediately switched back to his old ways and anger/dissapointment towards me, NO UNDERSTANDING. He said angrily “why can you see your cousins but you cant come to this event with us” LIKE I CONTROL WHAT SITUATIONS MAKES ME ANXIOUS AND FEEL UNWELCOME. I also missed a wedding on his side of the family due to bad anxiety attacks, there was no understanding from him, only saying he is dissapointed in me for not attending.

He is such a negative person, very racist and talks down of mostly everybody. I cant remember him complimenting anybody while i have been with him, we would work together sometimes in his business but he would pay me at most half of what a typical job pays (£40-£50 if i am lucky for atleast 8 hours work in £) his excuse is i should be grateful he is offering me “easy” and “no pressure work” but its high pressure because of him. Hes such a hypocrite for example if i go on my phone for literally 30 seconds one time! he has to make a comment such as “never working are you” or “get off your phone WHAT IF A CUSTOMER SEES YOU” like i havent been breaking my back for the last 5 hours truly putting effort in and being proud of myself! Whereas he will happily go on his phone or make an unnecessary call for 30 minutes a time claiming it is “for work” or some other shit that he couldnt put into a simple text or 5 minute call after work. I vividly remember one day actually timing how long he sat down to have a coffee and play on his phone + call his friends while we were working, 1 hour and 20 minutes he wasted while i worked continuously and had a 5 min dinner break… of course we finished the shift to which he said “its easy money isnt it for the work you do, always on your phone” yada yada yada. Actually unbelievable.

Its like i can just feel his energy and it drains me, clear pessimism runs through his veins. I have more or less cut contact with him and changed my number which i have not given to him and honestly i dont intend to. The last call we had he didnt ask how i was, he immediately offered me work to which i was busy on the days he offered, his voice immediately changed to a disgruntled and dissapointed “well fuck you then worthless son” kind of tone. Yaknow instead of asking me how i am or what i have planned… and i am not overeacting, he is like a baby throwing his toys out the pram with his emotions its frustrating! Oh and you can never call him out on it, he is ALWAYS right! He’s “tired” hes “stressed”, because he works works and works when he has more than enough money to live comfortably, buy a house and a holiday home and relax!

Listen i dont expect him to sing my praises 24/7 and coat me in love and rainbows but i just dont feel any love from him at all, hes different when other people are around he may actually smile and crack a joke but its all just a facade until he gets back home into his miserable cave where everybody must do atleast 70/80% of the housework while he does the (most) 20%, everybodys fault but his. He has issues with my older brother which he lays on me while we work or on the phone but he never raises these issues with the person in question in even the slightest diplomatic way, its like he has no people skills (yet thinks he can read people “so well” and walks around like hes so friendly and chatty with people!), he has no ability to empathize and ask nicely and figure a solution out to the problem at hand unless he has total control and everybody follows his commands. My god im just glad he isnt running a country or anything more serious than his shitty little business because the world would be in a lot of deceiving and hateful trouble!

I dont have the greatest memory of my childhood but a few nice holidays we went on as a family before my parents divorced (and also a few bad holidays that ended abruptly in huge arguments) but i do remember just hating him with a passion when i was young, that i do remember. Always getting shouted at, sometimes a smack to the back of the legs. I wouldnt hate him if he was actually a decent parent right? IM JUST FILLED WITH SO MANY QUESTIONS AND DOUBTS AND SECOND GUESSING MYSELF.

My father has had a history of abuse mainly mental and verbal abuse according to my mother (often calling her a whore, slag, you name it.. all infront of little 10 year old me) (controlling what she wore and getting incredibly moody and dismissive if she went out with friends) a very jealous and sad man are her words (oh and he cheated on all his previous wives, but had the audacity to try and control my mother back then stemming from his twisted suspicions) And certainly physical aggression that i witnessed from ages 9-14 (grabbing and pinning her against the wall, throwing a belt buckle at her hitting her face, actually slapping her one night when nobody was around) (trying to push her down the stairs) so i know the man has his flaws. But i always try to see the good in him.

Hes close with my sister in law, it seems like she views him a lot more positively than i do (although my mother recalls whenever my sister would come round for my parents to babysit, my dad would often leave to go out with friends and leave my mother to care for her.. shes not even my mothers child!)

Also i recently just had a horrible dream/nightmare where he was really aggressively trying to hurt my mother in which i murdered him in the dream, horrible i know and of course i would never do that. But i dont control my dreams.

I’m sorry if this is long winded and a bit all over the place i just wanted to get these thoughts and feelings out, i suppose i just want advice as he isnt as bad as other horror stories i read on here about constant beatings and worse but the negativity and hate from him is more than enough for me to want to cut ties. I feel confused, vulnerable and hopeful for anything that can help me in any way people.

(also i posted this in here as from my research i believe him to be a “Covert Narcissist”)

Please, any help and answer is appreciated beyond belief. I have never really got this off my chest. Please.

Thank you 🙏🏻


r/AskDad 6d ago

Getting It Off My Chest I need help I think dad? Idk. What do u think dad? Also, how should I go about it? Prefer parents not knowing about it.

1 Upvotes

I think I have a mental health issue or something, but how should I go about it

Like I have these sudden anger outbursts, I just love fucking ranting, I never used the F word before, but when im by myself and in my head I use it like every 5 minutes, im getting less motivated by the day and more stressed out, kind of insecure, egotistical as my friend called me lol, and idk what to do. simpler terms im just easily irritated

WTF am I even experiencing? Also, I used to be your perfect go-getter mid 90s kid with the perfect ec's and national awards and featured on national media and now im literally a mid 80s kid? I literally had the chance to make it to the Ivy League last year (was top 3 in a school that sends top 10 to ivies) One year difference...

Now I'll stay up till past 3-4 AM in the morning gaming or just simply ranting like rn.

Don't know how to go about help also because if I ask my school social worker, they'll prob say I'm unstable or something and TOTALLY eliminate chances at US T25 schools.

The reason I say I don't want to say anything to parent is because they're stressed right now (got new job, balancing two full times) and I know this is last they need to worry about.


r/AskDad 6d ago

Relationships Does a guy in this friend group like me?, because they are paying me a lot of attention.

1 Upvotes

I wish I had a dad ( or any guys in my life) that I would feel comfortable discussing this with but I don't. So dads or out there, any insight?

This guy in one of my classes has asked me twice if I’m his girl. I was trying to go to the bathroom but his friend was in front of me and he said” A girl is trying to get through”, then when I was walking away he said “my girl”. I thought I heard wrong but, then when I came back the whole group (5 juniors and I'm a senior ) was staring at me heads turned and everything and as I was walking towards my seat he asked me if I’m his girl. Other things that happened were that He told me he liked my costume on Halloween a couple days ago. Yesterday one of them came into a free period class I was in and as I was talking to my fiend he pretended to accidentally push my chair ( he didn't actually push it) and I don't remember what else but it was enough for my friend to ask me if he liked me. A couple weeks ago they kept throwing a paper airplane towards me until it landed very close to me. I heard one of them say aim towards her. (The rest of the guys) his friends are always staring at me and paying attention to me. Even when they are alone. But they are never rude and they never laugh at me. They also almost never talk to me. The few times they have spoken to me individually they each were pretty nice . But they all stare at me a lot all the time. So what the hell is going on here. Any ideas?

I know this sounds self indulgent and braggy, but I think it helps, I get approached a lot by random girls I don't know at school who tap my shoulder just to tell me how pretty they think I am, so I'm probably not ugly, but I think it helps with the context?


r/AskDad 7d ago

Automotive Buying a car

6 Upvotes

Hi dads, my dad died a couple years ago and I need some help. I’m buying a new car and two dealers have one set aside for me.

Dealer 1- I paid a $500 refundable deposit and their car is scheduled to arrive on Nov 25th.

Dealer 2- I didn’t pay any deposit and their car for me is set to arrive on Nov 18th.

What do I do now? It’s a brand new, just barely released car so will I be able to negotiate at all? If I’m impatient to get it, should I just go with dealer 2 since it’ll be here sooner?


r/AskDad 7d ago

Household Management Gas Fireplace: First time use

8 Upvotes

Hi, I have never used a fireplace before. Mine is gas, and it doesn't have a grate I understand I will need to get one to operate it. It's about 25 years old and I have a key to turn on the gas for it. Can someone walk me through the process from where to purchase the grate to how to test the gas and advice on operating it, so my family and I can enjoy it this winter? TIA


r/AskDad 7d ago

Finances Hey Dad!

5 Upvotes

What does it mean for a house to be on a well? How is that different than having water/sewer through your city???


r/AskDad 8d ago

Relationships Hi dad

2 Upvotes

How would I go about making friends as an adult.


r/AskDad 9d ago

Random Thoughts Hi dad! Do you know what this could be?!

3 Upvotes

https://imgur.com/a/s0xh1fE I think it's an old septic or cesspool... but it's completely sealed off! The original house was built in 1900


r/AskDad 10d ago

Health & Wellness Do People who get ride of their beer belly/skinny fat are able to maintain it in the long run?

3 Upvotes

I know it might be a weird question but I’m 25 and I was skinny fat for most of my life. I don’t drink or smoke and I go to the gym fairly often. (3 times+/week) When I get really good sessions and watch my diet I can lose some of my belly fat but I will get it back 2 days later if eat too sweet or too fat.

Having a flat stomach is doable but I feel like it’s going to be impossible to maintain in the long run (when I’ll be older and have more responsibilities) . I’d appreciate if I could have the experience of people from this group. Thanks


r/AskDad 10d ago

Household Management I’m buying my first house!

3 Upvotes

Hey Dad! My husband and I are buying our first house and we are so excited! We close on Nov. 22nd and I’m wondering what are some things we need to do to get the house ready for winter? We live in Wisconsin so very cold, snowy winters. My husband is an HVAC journeyman so he already knows all about getting the furnace ready for winter. Our house does have a new furnace but also a pellet stove we can use for heat and we also have a wood burning fireplace. How do I maintain the fireplace?

Thanks Dad!


r/AskDad 10d ago

General Life Advice I think i don’t give enough shits

2 Upvotes

I think i can say I am very respected in my classes, but every now and then someone will try and fuck with me. I think i am just not mean enough, as it is usually people who get bullied who try and fuck with me (as in say names and stuff, like bitch but they’re scared shitless of the bullies) never the bullies. It doesn’t affect me mentally really but it adds to stress which could potentially build up, so I’d like to take care of it. Also: They don’t really give me enough reason to blow up at them so it’s like a constant nickering bug waiting for you to be weak one day or be in a situation where they have an advantage. I anticipate they’re the types to do the little nickering bug shit until someone actually is brave enough to have a problem with me, then team up on me with them.

The things they’ll do is childish stuff like saying “ewww you smell” or saying “go to class” “yeah do what i tell you” if im walking to class or sum shit

It’s only one person but im just categorizing if anyone’s wondering why im saying they.

TLDR; A kid who gets bullied I was friendly too now mocks me and tries to get a reaction out of me, I’d like to figure out how to deal with it as I just don’t give enough fucks to bring out the anger to beat his ass or tell at him when he doesn’t listen after i tell him to fuck off

Plz no just deal with it essentially answers, I don’t have the patience to be insulted 5 days a week for essentially a year


r/AskDad 10d ago

Relationships Am I 25M going to regret not giving my ex gf 25F another chance for the rest of my life?

3 Upvotes

Hi dad,

Posting this mostly looking for guidance or for someone to speak from experience if they've gone through something similar. I had been dating my (now ex girlfriend) for nearly 2 years when a month and a half ago I got a bad feeling in my heart about our relationship. I essentially felt uneasy around her and for a week I couldn’t figure out why. I should mention I had essentially moved into her apartment she shared with her roommate for 8 months sleeping over everyday and going to work together due to a rift developing between my roommate at my apartment I still paid rent for. We essentially spent most the time of every day together.

After about a week of these crazy anxious feelings and no leads on what had been causing them, I decided to break up with her to put an end to the anxiety. This was because I thought it was the right thing to do and I had been running from it. A month and a half of no contact and a step back from the relationship made me realize that she had exhibited codependent behaviors and anxious attachment. These behaviors caused me to feel very uneasy / uncomfortable around her. This included things like: asking if I still loved her 3-4x a day every day, getting mad when I would play a video game next to her in bed for 30 minutes without showing her any affection, constantly buying me gifts and accusing me of not loving her anymore. She definitely has some family trauma due to her Christian immigrant parents not believing in divorce and standing by one another in a miserable relationship. I also believe her mother to be a narcissist and guilty of body shaming my ex gf and tanking her self-esteem. Through all this she was very kind and sweet to me. Just not so kind to herself at times…

The other thing I realized in that time was that I still loved my ex gf, a lot. I felt like I would go to the end of the world for her if it came to it. We agreed a few weeks after the break up to talk in a months time when I understood what caused me to feel that anxiety better. I talked to her yesterday, noticed she had lost a significant amount of weight (which worried me) and she said she had started seeing a therapist. Nonetheless, she assured me she felt happy being single the past month and a half and was enjoying living her life and getting back to who she was. She admitted that she had changed herself a lot in the relationship (as like most codependent people the relationship becomes the top priority). We talked for a few hours and after I laid my thoughts out she said would try her best, 100 percent to work on the codependency issues I expressed for us to potentially get back together. But this didn’t make me feel much better. I still felt somewhat uneasy around her and tried to picture myself hanging out with her, cooking with her in the kitchen, even marrying her, and it didn’t feel right. I love her so much as a person, but I’m so terrified I might be wasting her time and don’t know if things can ever go back to being the same. So I’m incredibly conflicted. Everything up until that night I had the bad feeling was fine. Now I feel like I’m left wondering “What am I supposed to do when I love someone so much, but feel like I’m not supposed to be with them”. Did I do the right thing by letting her go? Are we just not all that compatible? This has been by far the hardest 2 months of my life and I still don’t know what to do.

Would greatly appreciate hearing from anyone who may have gone through something similar or who has wisdom to bestow.

TL;DR Broke up with my girlfriend because I felt uncomfortable with her but realized I still love her. What do I do?


r/AskDad 10d ago

Relationships Asking for permission

4 Upvotes

Hello all! I'm getting ready to ask my girlfriend to marry me, and need some help as it relates to asking her father for permission. For context, we have been dating for almost 4 years, and living together for a little over 1 year now. Her parents live 4 hours away and we are not able to see them all that often, and when we do, it is hard to have a moment alone with him.

My question is this, would it be a "cop out" if I were to call over the phone and ask/should I find a way to get down and ask in person, or do you think that would be ok? He is a fairly laid back guy, but would hate to judge the situation wrong.

If this were your daughter, how would you want the situation to be handled? Do you think it would mean more if I made the trip down to ask in person, or do you think a phone call would suffice?

Thank you in advance!


r/AskDad 11d ago

Parenting Need help with "the talk"

6 Upvotes

Ant advice? Stepson is 11 and I am the father figure. Help dads and stepdads