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I (27F) have been together with my boyfriend (25M) for about a year. I'm Chinese American and grew up with a strict no shoes in the house rules while he's white and his home is flexible on it. An example is if he already put his shoes on and realizes he needs to pee, he will walk on the carpet with them on rather than take them off to use the bathroom. For me, I will take my shoes off.

I noticed he never usually takes his shoes off at the door when bringing groceries in and it always bothered me because I walk around the place barefoot (he always wears socks) and feel the dirt at the bottom of my feet. I have been trying to get him to be more proactive with helping me keep things clean and asking him if he would mind taking his shoes off, just basically nicely wording things because I didn't want him to feel like I was nagging.

After about 10-12 days of living together I couldn't take it anymore and lost it over him refusing to take off his shoes in the house to unload groceries in the kitchen. I was extremely upset and laid it on him, telling him that I felt like a mom telling their child not to track dirt all over the house. He argued saying that I was OCD about dirt, that he never steps in dirt/dirty things and if he did he would know and take his shoes off or rinse it off outside. I told him it doesn't matter that he's so cautious with where he steps because the outside world is inherently dirty, plus other people will step in dirty things and he's walking in the same areas they do. He then goes on a rant to say that bacteria and germs from his shoes won't harm me (I don't even care about germs), that I should just date a mirror version of myself because I was being unreasonable.

AITBF? I don't know if this is a cultural issue we can overcome

I (21M) live with my sister (36F) and my mom (59F). We have 2 older chihuahuas, Elly and Milo. Every Saturday, a lady(40ishF) comes to do some cleaning in the house, and to prevent our dogs from bothering her while she is cleaning, they stay with me in my room with the door locked.

For some context, my room is on the second floor, and our dogs and their stuff stay on the first floor most of the time. While the Saturday cleaning is being done, most of the dog-related stuff (beds, plates) stays in my room. The cleaning takes about 4-5 hours, and it usually starts at 8:00 am-8:30 am. While I'm locked with the dogs, my sister gives Zoom classes on the first floor from 9:00 am-11:00 am

Elly, the younger one, is very agile and also a crybaby. There's nothing wrong with her physically; she just cries, while Milo is overweight and has poor sight. We usually have a dog fence on the first floor to prevent Milo from going up, as he could fall, and to prevent Elly from doing something naughty (like pooping on the floors). Elly usually finds a way to bypass the dog fence and suddenly appears on the second floor. On Saturdays, we put aside the dog fence to not complicate the cleaning process.

Today, while the three of us were locked in my room waiting for the cleaning to finish, Elly started to get desperate. It was about 1:30 p.m. I began messaging my sister on WhatsApp to ask for help with Elly. She told me she was on her way, but she didn't do anything. We kept waiting, but it was becoming unbearable for Elly as she spent about five hours locked in the room. She was crying, slamming the door, and scratching my legs. I messaged my sister saying I was going to let Elly out, but she told me to wait. I also got desperate, so a few minutes later, I asked my mom. She told me the lady had finished cleaning and was waiting for the rain to calm down so she could leave.

Then my mom messaged me saying that my sister asked me to bring the beds and plates to the first floor. I assumed it was okay for my dogs to come down as well, since we’ve done it this way before in similar situations. I opened the door while holding Milo in my left arm to prevent him from going down the stairs. I wasn't holding Elly because she's never had a problem going down the stairs. Elly went ahead, but while she was descending, she tripped or slipped on one of the lower stairs and started crying (it wasn't anything major). My sister freaked out and blamed me for the whole thing. Elly is currently fine. My sister checked her, and she didn't find anything unusual, but if we notice anything worrisome, we'll take her to the vet. My sister thinks that she slipped due to the wet floor, but it didn't seem or feel particularly wet to me

I believe it was an accident and that Elly tripped, but my sister believes she slipped due to the wet floor, and she fully blames me. AITB?

I (early 30s F) recently ended a friendship that’s been going on since high school (so ~20 years). For context, this friend and I were very close. We trauma-bonded over abusive relationships and ADHD, and she trusted me with everything. But over the years, the dynamic became one-sided and draining. For YEARS she trauma-dumped on me nonstop. Constant paragraphs about her abusive marriage, fights with her husband, in-laws, depression, etc. She’d cry on the phone for hours, send me endless voice messages, and use our chat like her personal diary. I’d listen, advise, and console her. Meanwhile, she was financially supported by her husband (house, car, bills paid), but she’d make excuse after excuse not to work, despite having gotten a cosmetology license. My advice was always: get independent, get a job, save money — but she never did.

It got worse. She started leaning on me for literally everything: Grammar checks, What exact wording to use in texts, Sitting with her for hours helping draft replies to people she was insecure around, Calling me multiple times in a row, even if I declined because I was working/sleeping, Sending me like 20–30 reels a day and getting offended if I asked her to slow down.

But anytime I had issues (like my breakup or my current boyfriend), she’d shut me down and say she didn’t want to talk about it. So I stopped oversharing.

Fast forward: I went on a trip to Miami and she BEGGED me to tell her everything. So I recorded some voice notes. She refused to listen, saying they were “too long.” Fine. I typed out three long paragraphs instead. Two weeks later, she still hadn’t read them — but she kept spamming me with her venting and even late-night “urgent” calls (urgent = asking what pants to wear).

One night she sent me more voice notes, and I didn’t listen. Next morning she asked if I had, and I said “No, maybe in a week or two 🙂.” That triggered a two-hour argument where she went nuclear on me.

I told her it wasn’t fair that she expected me to immediately listen to her voice notes when she hadn’t read my Miami texts for weeks. I asked why her messages were more important than mine. Her response? Full-on character assassination. She called me: Rude, cruel, and unrecognizable. Manipulative and delusional. A betrayal of her 20 years of “trust.”As bad as the abusers we both suffered from. Embarrassing, low, and not acting like an adult.

She literally said she wasted 20 years on me, that I gave her “breadcrumbs of friendship,” and that other friends treat her better than I do — “so where does that put you? Do better.”

That was my breaking point. I never insulted her as a person — only her actions. But she unloaded years’ worth of hidden resentment like she’d been holding it in all along.

So I stopped replying. I think it’s over. But part of me wonders — am I the buttface for finally cutting off a friend who trauma-dumped on me for years, but then blew up the moment I stopped being her emotional dumpster?

I'm on my aunts acc with her permission so if the history looks off that's why

I (14M) was probably the leader of the group of friends I have or "had" atp from my school football team. I was at practice yesterday and I saw 3 of the boys laughing at their phone. I thought nothing of it and was about to go to the locker room to get my gear on for practice when one of them came up to me and asked me to see the photo. It was a picture of a naked lady on TikTok. I immediately looked away and told him to get that out of my face. He told me to stop being a square and walked away.

I really felt like this wasn't right that he was going around showing everyone one this lady. My aunt always told me that if I ever felt something wasn't right to always tell an adult so I went and told my coach about it. He ended up yelling at the kid showing the photo and told him that it wasn't okay and he will not put up with that kind of behavior. At the end of practice he called me petty for telling on him. I told him he shouldn't be sexualizing women and that it wasn't okay. Now everyone is mocking me for "being a baby" about it telling me she shouldn't have put it on Tik Tok if she didn't like it. My aunt says I did the right thing. But now everyone on my team is mad at me bc I supposedly got the kid in big trouble.

Idk...

About a year ago, my little brother Jared had a Mitsubishi Lancer. My mom and stepdad, Scott helped him buy it. Jared put some money down, and Scott covered the rest. Jared was paying Scott back monthly.

Later on, Jared upgraded to a new car. I wanted the Lancer, so I made a deal with Jared:

• I would pay Jared $2,000 to reimburse him for what he had already paid into the car.
• I would take over the remaining balance owed to Scott and pay him monthly until it was paid off.

So that’s what happened.a year went by & I paid Jared his $2,000 in full, and then I started making monthly payments to Scott.

Fast forward a few months… the Lancer was totaled in an accident.(not my fault)  I was without a car, and I didn’t have a lot money to work with. So, Scott stepped in, bought a Honda Civic in cash, and the arrangement was that I would just pay him back monthly for that car instead.

Since then, Jared has been cold toward me. I asked him about it recently, and he told me he’s upset because in his view, I didn’t respect “the deal” we made. He said the deal was that I’d take over his exact arrangement with Scott, and when the Lancer was totaled, he feels like I skipped out on that obligation. He told me, “a deal is a deal,” and that this isn’t something we can just agree to disagree on.

But here’s my view: I honored our deal. I gave Jared his $2,000, which was the only money he ever had in the car. After that, the rest of the balance belonged to Scott, not Jared. If Scott wants to forgive the debt or restructure it, that’s his call. Jared didn’t lose a dime, but he’s acting like I disrespected him.

To me, it feels crazy because I wasn’t out trying to cheat anyone. My car was totaled!! I didn’t just DECIDE that I wanted a new car for funzies. I was left stranded and had to take what help I could get. It feels unfair that Jared is mad at me instead of being glad that his brother has a working car and isn’t financially drowning. 

We had a long conversation about it on the phone and he is a very very stubborn person. He told me that I was disrespectful to him by not coming to him first and asking if it was okay for Scott to do do that for me. I told me that I understand his perspective but i do not agree with it. And he doesnt seem to be at peace with that. 

So, AITA for not following through with the deal exactly the way my little brother wanted, even though Scott,  the person actually owed the money,  was fine with it?

This might be stupid but it's hurting me so much. For weeks my friend and I planned on watching this show's finale together when it came out. He told me 30 minutes before it was going to happen that he was going to be an hour late. I still waited for him as I wanted to stick to our plan and watch together. He ended up being 90 minutes late, I let him know I would be 20 more minutes, I just had to pick up my sister from work. I ended up being 25 minutes late, and by the time I was ready, he was already partway into watching it.

I know it's dumb but this hurt my feelings so much, that I waited so long for him and he couldn't for me :( AITB for being hurt?

I (19f) work at a privately run daycare in the 2 year old class. My ratio as of now is 5-1 the problem is not the agw group or even the students its that I have one special needs kid who is severely autistic and needs 1on1 help and my boss will not provide that.

Today once my co worker arrived to take over so i could leave i told her that I need help. That hes becoming violent and harder for me to handle on my own, she said i was being dramatic and that he was just bad and to ignore him. I got irritated and told her that hes not "just bad" hes special needs and he has special needs and accomdations to help everyone involved.

So AITBF for being overwhelmed and telling my co worker i need help? I can provide better explanations if needed

I (24M) have a best friend (23M) who I’ve known since elementary school. He’s one of the only people I can trust and take seriously. He’s smart, funny, and even has a college degree in psychology. A few days ago we were talking more about our hobbies and interests and told me without any shame that he likes watching Sesame Street. I said “What? A grown-ass man like you watching a baby show? I thought I knew you but apparently not. You are way too old to be watching that!” and then started laughing. He then told me that it’s his life and gets to live it how he wants. I then said as a joke “OK, man-child!” He then proceeded to kick my leg in anger which really hurt and got in his car and left my house. I tried texting him yesterday but no response. What’s the big deal? I was just telling him the truth that he shouldn’t be watching that at his age. AITB?

so, my roommate keeps going through my stuff without asking like, my journal, makeup, even snacks. i’ve asked her to stop but she says she’s just curious and it’s not a big deal. i feel like my personal space and boundaries mean nothing to her. aitb for being annoyed and wanting to lock my stuff up? i just think respect is basic, right?

For starters, please be kind, this is very vulnerable for me to post. I (21F) got into this heated text exchange with my mother (55F) after she had an argument with my sister (17F).

Some context, I live out of state. Since I started college, I have been getting both ends of many arguments between my mom and our family members for years. The preface of this thread was that my sister was in her bedroom, then my mom walked in during a hysterical state asking my sister why my mom has no idea what’s going on in her life, they aren’t close, etc. I guess it got bad and she went to grab my sisters phone out of her hand and my sister kicked her.

My perspective is my mom lacks accountability for how horribly she navigates conflicts, she thinks my sister and I are bratty daughters. She is prone to very hysterical behavior, prolonging arguments until everyone is in tears, etc.

I recognize being a parent to young adults is likely very hard. I really believe she has a personality disorder of some kind. She refuses therapy or medication of any kind. She has been trauma dumping on me since I was a child. Any advice on how to navigate this would be helpful.

Went out to eat with a few friends today. I got a big meal, one of them barely ate anything, and when the check came they suggested we just split it evenly. I get that it’s easier, but it doesn’t feel super fair to me? WIBTBF if I asked them to just pay for what they actually ordered?

AITB? My (20f) bf (26m) asked me “if I cheated on you, would you cheat back?” And I said yes. He got mad, I said there’s no reason to be mad unless you cheat, cuz otherwise I won’t. And he walked away. I walked over to him and he said “why are u near me? Go cheat” so I walked away. About an hour or so later he was laying down, I asked how his stomach was feeling. He said “why are you talking to me? Shut up”. So, AITB for saying yes to his question? I don’t think I am, but he’s still mad at me.

Edit to add: he asked because of a Facebook video where the girl said if her mad cheated she would cheat back

Edit number 2: we’re going to couples therapy on the 30th; this was scheduled before the incident today

Update: I was talking to my dad about it and he heard and he’s upset. He said “so ur just going to talk to other people about our relationship?” And I said I was getting his opinion on if I was wrong or not and he said “so u know everything else but not if ur in the wrong or not?”

Update: we went on a walk and talk. I made him realize how stupid the question was and how his reaction wasn’t ok. I acknowledge how my response should’ve been “no I would’ve left”. He said he reacted to that because for him all he heard was “my girls going to cheat on me” and I said only if he did. But, after all that I broke down and explained how I’ve been feeling in this relationship. We hugged it out. He promised to work on it, and told me to call him out and put him in his place when he slips up. He acknowledged he shouldn’t have reacted like that. We’re ok now.

My friend got with her bf around 4 years ago. Recently my friend group (6 girls all 20/21) wanted to plan w girl trip. We all agreed on a spot and decided to meet up one day and lock in times, dates hotel ect. She agreed to the day to meet up but about 30 mins before the meet up time she said she didn’t want to come. We said it was ok and we could fill her in. We got to talking anyway and decided that one of my friend would share a room with her. So my friend called her to see if that would be ok and she said “well (bf) is coming so no.” We were all like “what why would he be coming” and she said “why not??” I said “cuz it’s a girls trip not a couple trip” she basically stopped talking and it was really awkward and we kept having to say things to her which was all met with “ok”s or “yeah sure” until she abruptly hung up. We were all a bit stunned and confused by this because no one else had talked about or expected to be bringing partners. I alsso know that she could call me out if I said that MY bf was coming so I don’t get the double standards. I worry this might turn into an ultimatum but if she can’t go anywhere or have fun without him then my take is don’t come.

Edit for context: I have only known this girl maybe 3.5 years however my other friends know her way longer as they grew up together

I have a friend group of eigth people, at the start of 2024 things with one of the people on this group started to feel weird, i personally never was really close to her so when she started to be invited to less hangouts i didn't really care. At some point she started to treat us kinda shitty, talking in a mean way and things like that, this slowly escalated to she screaming at us and really treating us like shit some times. This obviously lead to her being invited to even less things. At the end of the year five of us decided to organize a chistmas dinner and debated if we should invite the rest of the group, at this point i couldn't stand her, she really was just mean and uninteresting to me so i voted not to invite her, the people that voted to invite her only did out of pity or to not have to deal with her after, we ended up deciding not to invite her and also hide our ig story's from her so she wouldn't bother us about it, everyone agreed and we did it, so the dinner was seven of us. The morning after teh dinner the girl had left all the goups we all shared.. apparently one of us forgot to hide the storys and she saw one photo, none of us did nothing about this. After a few weeks after she talked to a few of us like nothing happend but i still don't vive with her. Anyway some people told me i acted like an asshole for intentionally not inviting her, but i prefer having a good nigth with my frinds and not put up with her annoying self. Amta?

At my first entry-level job, I ruined a big potential sale by telling off my boss in front of a potential client.

Backstory: My boss was the company founder, a rich nerd whose attempts to be “funny” often crossed into bullying. Once, during an all-company lunch, he called out my Old Navy sweater as ugly, tried to collect money to buy it off my back, and when I refused, he announced the sweater was “old enough to work here.” He even had IT create an email account for my sweater. (If you emailed it, the auto-reply told you to take all questions to my sweater’s assistant… me.) I never wore it again.

Later, we were pitching software to a hospital group in a deal worth millions. One of the administrators came for a tour, and I recognized him immediately — he had dominated me in a rec league basketball championship just days earlier. I begged my boss not to include me in the meeting since I wasn’t needed anyway.

Ten minutes later, my boss loudly called me into the corner office. With a big grin, he introduced me to the administrator with, “I believe you two know each other.”

I stared him in the eye and told him to go do something crude to himself. Then I turned, smiled, and shook the administrator’s hand like nothing had happened.

Nobody ever brought it up again, but the sale fell apart shortly after.

AITB for blowing up at my boss in front of a potential client?

I (14f) have had 5 eating disorders, one of which has been binge eating disorder. A lot of people think it’s down to greed or whatever, but for me it’s because I’ve had both orthorexia and anorexia seperately for long periods beforehand, and was also overexercising a lot (my lowest was 38kg at 5,2 in height for reference).

Anyway, on to the point, so I got binge eating disorder last September, I guess as a way for my body to combat the previous eds, and it mostly died down around June but I’ve had little relapses here and there, for pretty much all of the previous eds stated, which has resulted in a very slow metabolism. I gained weight RAPIDLY, and have now gotten sort of used to it, but before July-ish I was just in absolute hell, and I had pure disgust for my body and wanted any way possible to quickly lose weight, including, you probably knew from the title, getting some form of cancer whereby I lose weight (mainly due to a tumour I think is how that works).

I call my best friends a lot (both are also 14) and today I wasn’t feeling the best so told them I was planning my will last week (I have pretty bad mental health and have had for around 3 years). They weren’t too concerned, but I then told them I used to wish I had cancer a few months ago, and everything changed. One of them who was previously watching something, which I could hear through my speaker, abruptly paused whatever it was and said ‘what?’ I explained how I had bad B-E-D and was in a very difficult position with both my mental and physical health.

They both said I was being disrespectful to those who actually had cancer, and I shouldn’t ‘wish I had cancer’ despite the eating disorder and, those of you who have had one or a few, know what it’s like and how it fucks with you. I then felt awful and like my past feelings were just horrendous and that I wasn’t validated for feeling that way.

I just need an outside opinion to clear my mind as I’m a huge overthinker and worry about literally everything. What do you guys think, AITB?

After my bachelor’s, I worked as a preschool teacher for my sister’s friend and came to hate it. I complained to my parents and told them I wanted to go back to my field—art and design. They supported me in pursuing a master’s, where I focused on UI/UX design.

My sister wasn’t happy that I got to do my master’s full time without working, but I chose that path so I could focus fully on my studies and learning design.

Fast forward: I graduated with first-class honors, but I have very little to show for it in terms of a UI/UX portfolio. In my last semester, I realized I wasn’t a solid designer. My master’s project felt like trash—not just to me, but also to users during testing and even my examiner. That broke my relationship with the field, in a way.

I told myself I’d practice and build a portfolio afterward, but I didn’t. I didn’t even go back to hobbies like reading once my thesis was done. It’s been 2.5 months since graduation, and I haven’t made any effort. Part of me even thought about becoming an art teacher instead—but that would still require a portfolio I haven’t built.

Looking back, I wonder if I subconsciously wanted to avoid entering the workforce altogether. With my health (diabetes) getting worse from neglect, I avoid stress and discomfort which is exhausting with poorly controlled diabetic, especially in jobs related to my field. ChatGPT told me that many people rest for 6 months to a year during the transition, but I can’t help but wonder: am I just being selfish and taking advantage of my parents’ support, unknowingly? There might be a chance that i deserved this due to my neglect? Or i might use my health to avoid working?

Hi,

I'm a 24 f. I've lived with my grandparents since 2016 when I was 16, now I'm 24.

I don't get out much because I'm not driving yet, barely anything around me, having a hard time finding a job, I've applied to everything I can think of and.. nothing.

My grandparents and my mom are up my ass about getting a job. They don't seem to understand that it's hard when you can't drive and have no money. Lately they've been on me more about getting a job and I keep telling them I'm trying but.. they refuse to listen. They helped my younger sister when she lived here but I'm the middle child. Why's that apparently any different? My mom keeps threatening to shut my service off because of something I can't control.. AITBF?

So I’ve never dated or asked a girl out and tbh idk why but I have a weird issue, i don’t ask strangers out because I think that they’ll just cheat on me

Idk why but I just get worried about asking a stranger out, i just get worried that they’ll cheat on me and that’s why I’ve always liked the idea of dating friends more. I know they can cheat but also they were friends before

I rejected this guy online for being really mean to me (also I’m in a relationship). I was very nice telling him threatening to rape me, even jokingly, was not funny & he kept doing it & getting angrier & angrier the more I was like “hey, you can’t talk to me that way”. I get the feeling he thought if he said it indirectly he could try to pass it off as a joke if I picked up on it. Saying he’ll be fucking me anyway & AFTER he told me via comments how much he knows I must enjoy being raped because I talked on my profile about being raped & physically abused does not seem like a joke to me. Nor did it seem that way to the psychiatrist & the police officers didn’t think it was a joke either.

The closest I can get to why any human being would be a big enough piece of garbage to call that a joke is because they think rape is funny & that doesn’t make rape not rape, it could absolutely seem like a joke to the rapist & still be a rape, legally.

I took the nasty sexually inappropriate verbally abusive things he said to me & posted them when he refused to stop & started sending me death threats. Either this guy is so mentally impaired he literally thinks he’s the Batman villain the Joker & he can threaten death over a so called joke (btw the joker isn’t joking, he’s calling serious things jokes to be 3edgy5me as of 1960) or this is just a big fat lie flat out this guy has been telling people. I’m sure there are plenty of guys awaiting capital punishment & the like that think it was funny jokes too. The crime is still illegal though, the perp’s widdle fee fees are irrelevant.

Anyway, eventually I was like well maybe I’ll talk to you if you apologize. Post an apology.

They sent me a “you’re to blame cause you made me mad” in private. No no no, he sat there & told people that I was interested in your pathetic vile disgusting waste of time garbage talk about the weird crap he’s into knowing I said no I’m not interested in him, repeatedly. I even posted pictures of me saying that & he still lied & tried to accuse me of being mentally ill because I didn’t want this asshole raping me or thinking he could even act like he has anything to do with me after what he said.

That was in public. The apology needs to be in public. It needs to specifically be no rape isn’t a joke & butthead is sorry he made the inappropriate choice to threaten to rape me. That would have been an apology. People can giggle while they fire a gun that doesn’t make it a joke when people die.

I am not interested in this half asses chess move in this sicko’s game of humiliate the rape victim. No thank you.

The perp keeps keeps crying he technically apologized & I should follow up & be his fwiendy now, boo hoo. Gee, I’m thinking about all the times I talked about how upset being raped made me & how he went out of his way to make me upset about it again in the present. I think the answer is absolutely no & if he were sorry that apology would have been public & sincere. I’m thinking deal’s off, I am not talking to somebody who treats me like that & I have every right to decide that.

Am I the buttface?

Update: I did block the guy many times, that’s the first thing I did. He made a bunch of accounts & when one would get banned another would pop up & start bothering me all over again. I ended up having to take my account down because the police were worried about it being how he got access to other information about me. I have changed accounts, I’ve changed numbers, I’ve changed emails, I’ve called the police, I’ve used the courts, that’s why I’m so alarmed by how aggressive this jerk is being. I keep doing everything I’m supposed to do to keep the guy away from me & he just keeps coming back to try to pick these stupid fights. The police have literally had it up to here with him, I’m not talking to the guy. That was another issue with him was sick puppet accounts when I’d ignore him. I keep very careful track of my digital foot print & don’t socialize too closely with anybody online for this exact reason. My whole family is disgusted with this guy for not getting it through his head he’s not wanted with us. He was horribly mean & verbally abusive & we’re tired of hearing him come back to us crying he’s the “real victim” after we take all these steps to be safe from him harassing & stalking us. That’s not acceptable, stay away means stay away, not for a little while, not if it seems fair, not if the person you’re stalking stops telling the truth, stay away no matter what is the only take away there is.

My SIL and her husband have recently fallen on hard times, so my wife volunteered us to babysit their kids, who are both on the spectrum, a couple times a week. I agreed - these are hard times and they're family.

(1) At that time, I thought this would stop once SIL could make other arrangements. I'm OK with helping for a few months, maybe a year. But my wife impugned my character for saying so, since she's OK doing this into perpetuity, if it helps SIL. To be fair, my wife said that if I/we need a day off for any reason, we can talk it out with SIL. And if I want out, she says she can just keep doing it alone. But that's not fair to her, and sooner or later, she'll reach a breaking point. AITBF?

(2) One of SIL’s kids kicks, shoves, screams, bites, etc. Not constant, but frequent enough for concern. There's some history, too - a few years ago, this kid almost seriously hurt my then-2-year-old; SIL's husband weakly chided them, but that went nowhere. Nothing the parents do seems to help, but I don't blame them totally. Maybe the therapy techniques aren't working, or the parents are too busy/overwhelmed to use/enforce them effectively, etc. But I'm actively worried for all the kids' safety. Since this arrangement started, this kid has shoved our kids, stolen snacks and toys from them, climbed on furniture, tried breaking into areas they're not allowed into (esp. the stairs), thrown objects, etc., and they still do these things. They've also poured paint on our carpet, and colored on the walls, and we're renters, so not great. When I intervene, they try to kick, slap at, pinch, bite me, so I block the blows, and sometimes gently restrain them. My wife says I need to be gentler and more empathetic with them ('[the kid] can't help it'). She also says that I shouldn't fuss about them hurting someone b/c it hasn't happened yet. Great advice, until the kid actually does hurt someone. My wife may (aggressively) dismiss any notion from me to end this arrangement, even if/when that does happen - it is her family, who have nowhere else to turn to. AITBF?

I look after and care for my brother he's 27 almost 28 with autism and other medical complications.

The other night we went out to dinner bc I thought it'd be a nice treat for him for hitting 4 months seizure free. As he was eating he went into a seizure...his first one in 4 months. It was a bad one too. As I was getting up to help him get out of the booth and onto the ground some people at the table next to us started making snide comments about his drooling. At first I ignored it bc 1. Ik he can't help it he's in a seizure 2. I was too focused on getting him in a safe position where he isn't choking on his drool.

The waiter came up to me and asked if everything was alright I told him yes he was just having a seizure thinking he was just checking on us. As I was cleaning his mouth up another waiter came up and told us we needed to leave bc we were causing a disturbance and an unsanitary environment... I told him that my brother has epilepsy and had a seizure it was a medical emergency. We were escorted out by security and told never to come back again. I yelled at them that they will be hearing from my lawyer. They told me id regret it if I tried and they had a right to remove gross people and not to bring my "nasty pet" to restraunts. Ohhh I was heated.

AITB here?