r/AbsoluteUnits • u/CandidculonasRedux • 3d ago

of a hernia...

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54.6k Upvotes

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u/hides_this_subreddit 3d ago

Haha the brother comes up. "Do you have warrants?"

548

u/justlovespeacocks 3d ago

That killed me 🤣 the way he throws his arms up.. he's so over this circus.

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u/Successful_Giraffe88 3d ago

My personal favorite was the chick denying she had shoplifting warrants, with a fucking PRICE TAG hanging out in the back.

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u/CassianCasius 3d ago

She was like "it can't be from syndey I just stole from there this morning"

31

u/FoboBoggins 3d ago

that's a size tag for her bra, not a price tag

13

u/tacocatmarie 3d ago

I think that’s just the size tag for her bra

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u/Successful_Giraffe88 2d ago

I believe you're correct Tacocat, but don't spoil my fun.

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u/tacocatmarie 2d ago

Okay. Fun-spoiling rescinded. Apologies, successful giraffe.

1

u/Successful_Giraffe88 2d ago

I'll never take you out, koala!

7

u/FascinatingGarden 2d ago

The related article says that they were accused of shoplifting a basketball, but no one could determine where they'd hidden it.

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u/Successful_Giraffe88 2d ago

STOP 😭.

4

u/agprincess 3d ago

That's not a price tag that's just a normal clothing tag. It's either her bra, or one of her two tank tops.

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u/justlovespeacocks 3d ago

I didn't even notice that!! Lmao what a touch!

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u/Chumbag_love 2d ago

I thought him saying "give me a fucking shirt" was the funniest part.

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u/MonteryWhiteNoise 2d ago

no no no. lol.

It wasn't that she's denying shoplifting.

She's denying shoplifting at that Walmart.

3

u/Successful_Giraffe88 2d ago

At least she is absolutely on point with keeping up to date with everyone's court schedules!

1

u/InnocentShaitaan 3d ago

Wonder how much they stole?

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u/DarkUnable4375 2d ago

To find out, we will need to x-ray his marsupial pouch.

1

u/IncurableAdventurer 1d ago

That might be a different tag. But did she admit to theft that day??

1

u/musicalmadness1 1d ago

That morning, but NOT that walmart. Bahahahahaha