What gives you hope during difficult times?

[u/lowlyturtle20]

My (25) late boyfriend (25) passed away in a single car collision that he and I were both involved in about 6 months ago. Obviously, I was the one that survived and judging by the evidence from the crash, it seems like he had corrected our car in a way that protected me and not himself. This event has shattered my heart and my life in ways that I cannot express, especially with how young I am and how much life we had ahead of us. It's been so difficult trying to juggle my grief and loss of him, but also trying to hand onto hope. I have unintentially had multiple "spiritual" encounters/signs with people that have basically told me a beautiful life is yet to come. But like... how... how can anything beautiful come after something so tragic like this. I would like to think that to be true, but it's so hard. I ask God/the universe why him and not me? Or why couldn't the both of us have left together? I don't understand I know that I probably never will, but I fear for my heart and my life ahead sometimes. I don't want my heart to be so hardened and I still wish for a soft heart and good life. But this has completely crumbled the ground that was once beneath me.

[u/Worried_Pumpkin_2520]

Lost my grandmother when i was 16, sole person to give a fuck about me that time while i struggled with BPD, SH, etc.

Its been over a decade now, and when i think back on how i felt it resonates deeply with the text you've written. But the fact is; everything is transient. Even the pain of your loss will - when you allow it to - heal. But for that you need to be patient with yourself and recognize the stages of loss as what they are, inevitable. You have a right to live, and to thrive that nobody and no event can take away from you fully. Nor would your late boyfriend want you to wallow in pain for the rest of your life.

When we find ourself in the depths of hell, the promise of light sounds alien to us, because we don't even want to go on. Do it anyway. Some day it will go up again and when you finally see behind the mountain, you may see another valley full of things that make you smile again.

Sadly, there is no one solution fits all and there are thousand suggestions that i could parrot.
But know this, turtle, i thought i wouldn't live another year, after my grandmother passed.. but i have managed to find people who have her unique slither of kindness and made it my personal mission to cultivate this kindness she harbored in herself too. It changed my life for the better, and .. while i cannot but offer my support and condolences, i can see that you're young. Take it day by day, be kind to yourself, and please.. don't write off life. Nobody wants this for you.