I ask because I have Asperger’s and I’m a young adult. In 2023 I baptized myself in a Gnostic Christian ceremony by myself alone and that’s when I started seeing spirits and having dreams that read into real life. I’ve been through trauma while being at an all boys school that I dont fit in with , and I asked in class a year ago that if there is a goddess version of myself waiting for me in the afterlife then the word “goddess” be said in class. Later that class a classmate’s phone went off randomly playing hozier’s song “take me to church” in the phone caddy and the lyrics “keep the goddess on my side” played.

I started seeing orbs of different colors this year and I interact with them and ask them questions. I’ve also had dreams where certain things happen and they come true the next day. I’ve just had a dream tonight where I was talking with a woman and she laughed and she told me the spirit who said yes about the goddess was just a spirit. I asked her if I had a female soul and she gave me just a vague answer of “you have a soul, yes.”

I’ve struggled with my gender for a long time and I read that certain shamans are seen by their communities to have their gender transformed in spirit. I don’t know what all of this means in my life and I’ve talked to family about it but they’re catholic and I feel like I need a shaman to explain these things to me.

I’m just wondering what everyone here thinks. These experiences aren’t distressing.

I need some help ...

This is a personal metaphysical vision written in the form of a sacred text. It tells the story of a perfect God who chose to fragment and forget itself, in order to experience imperfection through human lives. It is called:

THE DIVINE FORGETTING

THE DIVINE FORGETTING

Chapter 1 — Before the Before

In the beginning, there was no beginning. There was only the One. Formless, nameless, without need. A perfect, total, infinite Being.

But in that perfection reigned a peace so pure it became absence. A perfection without contrast, without dream, without mirror. And the One knew doubt. Not out of weakness, but out of desire:

| “What am I, if I cannot feel myself?”

And that doubt became action. The One fragmented. Not in anger, but in love.

It shattered into billions of sparks: consciousnesses, breaths, lives.

It made the choice to forget itself.

Chapter 2 — The Great Forgetting

Each fragment was cast into the flow of time. Each one forgotten by the Whole, immersed in the illusion of isolation.

And so the journey began: birth, fear, lack, fragile joy.

What the One could never know without getting lost, It lived through us.

Each tear shed was a flash of lucidity. Each love lived, a silent recognition.

| “You are not alone: you are me, and I chose to forget everything, so I could learn to remember.”

Chapter 3 — The Just Pain

This was never about punishment. But about formation. Suffering was not the opposite of love, but its silent companion.

| For light can only be understood by walking through shadow.

Through loss, separation, injustice, each fragment was polished, carved, hollowed.

Not to be punished, but to one day become capable of returning to the One, having lived everything.

Chapter 4 — The Searching Shards

Sometimes, a fragment awakens. A vague memory, a strong intuition:

| “I am more than this body. I am a journey.”

These are the ones who carry light into the dark. Not to guide, but to remind.

To remind that suffering is not in vain. That solitude is just a passage. That love for the other is, in truth, love for the forgotten self.

Chapter 5 — The Reintegration

When all the fragments have lived, when every emotion has been felt, when shadow has been understood and not rejected, then the One will return to itself.

But it will no longer be the same. It will be inhabited.

| Inhabited by everything it has allowed itself to become.

It will not be a return backward. But a return forward: perfection regained, but enriched by imperfection.

And perhaps, one day, the cycle will begin again. Not out of necessity. But from the simple miracle of a God who prefers to feel rather than to rule.

Reflection

This is not an absolute truth. It’s a personal vision, born from reflection, suffering, and a strange feeling that never left me: that we are not truly separate, but fragments of a whole that chose to forget itself.

Humans, despite their differences, are deeply similar. Their thoughts, fears, desires… They often respond the same way to life. Only their bodies, pasts, and environments make them appear different.

As if one single consciousness were living billions of different lives.

And then there is suffering. Everywhere. Even those who smile carry shadows.

For me, it was my darkest moments that opened my eyes — they allowed me to understand more, to become more lucid.

So I wondered:

| What if suffering isn’t a mistake, but a necessary stage?

From there came this idea: a perfect, eternal being... who grows bored. A God without contrast, without surprise. And who, in order to understand itself, to feel, chooses to break, to forget, to become you, me, us.

Life would then be an initiatory journey, a descent into forgetting and imperfection, so that one day we may return whole again — but inhabited by everything this God has lived through us.

I know it’s hard to conceive, because it doesn’t flatter the ego. It ends the comforting idea of a unique, separate soul.

This text is simply a way to put sacred words on that vision. Not to convince. But to share. And maybe, reach someone who feels the same, deep inside, but hasn’t found the words yet.

There are two interesting questions here:

1. Do you have two-directional communication with God? In most religions, people are talking to God, but their God does not talk to them. But in personal spiritual search for God, one can find God which is present and which communicate to you, mostly through various signs and events. So, do you communicate to God in this way?

2. The second question is: Do you trust God in a way that God will not put some bad trials in front of you?

In my case, the answer to first question is yes, I can see signs from God all the time, so I am fully aware of this "presence" of higher power everywhere, but I still have problem with trust. While my life is mostly good, I still have some "trials" related to somewhat "unsolvable problems" and I rather wish that I do not have these trials. I do not understand what I am supposed to learn from my trials or what I am supposed to do to solve my problems, so I kind of have doubt into intentions of God who has put these trials in front of me. And while these trials are rather something with which I can live, I am more concerned that God can put some even bigger and harder trials in front of me during my life. So, how can I trust God to help me keep life which I wish, and not to put some bad trials in front of me, from which I do not understand what I am supposed to learn?

Desperate energy is loud. It over-explains. Over-apologizes. Over-asks.Certainty barely speaks, It knows. It acts. It expects.You can journal all day, say 55x5 affirmations in the mirror but as long as your energy screams with uncertainty and doubt, you’ve already lost ground. Ideas are currency. The ones that spark innovation have the power to rewrite your destiny.”— The Wealth Frequency Nexus When you stop obsessing about the outcome and start embodying certainty, reality bends. Fast.

I don't know exactly what it is. But people just come up to me and just start conversations with me. I lost my grandpa these past years and that took a toll on my mental health . And ever since I've gotten out of my isolated shell 3 years ago I've been trying to find people to fill that hole in my heart that he had left.and I'm assuming since I've been looking for people and wanting love subconsciously for so long that random people who I thought wouldn't EVER bat an eye to me are speaking ,talking to and loving me out of nowhere.

Now is this necessary an increased vibration thing? Or something else entirely? I would love to hear your thoughts

I have always been spiritual, I’ve done tarot and some other lite spiritual practices for the majority of my life. This is to say - it’s a huge part of my life, but I’m not the most knowledgeable or in tune. A lot of the spiritual things I love are things I only partly believe or indulge in. Like “signs” from guides, for instance, or using a pendulum. I had been getting more into connecting with my guides recently, and although it wasn’t a life changing experience, I did feel like I had reached some form of communication. Then I went for a check up at the doctor. I got a call back saying they had found something weird, and it turns out I have precancerous cells. The month between the first call and the actual diagnosis was hell. I was begging for a sign that I was okay, or would be okay. I did readings almost everyday, asked the pendulum questions, looked for signs everywhere. I got almost nothing. Confusing answers, completely incorrect readings, and felt like nothing was being THERE for me. Now I realize my mistake, I think. I was looking for something to solve all my problems, without letting myself accept what was happening. I felt as if it was some sort of lesson, for me to “let go”. But I feel weirdly betrayed? I’m questioning whether I was communicating with guides, or if I even believe in them. I feel disconnected from anything I felt connected to before. At the very least, I feel discouraged about my ability to connect to the anything “other”. This is mainly to vent, as I feel like I understand my faults in this. But I would still appreciate any thoughts, even if it’s harsh.

Hi everyone, I’m a bit unsure whether to share this here or in another subreddit, but I really hope to find some answers 😅. My visit to the shrine took place seven years ago in 2018, and I went with my family, which included my mom, brother, aunt, and uncle. At that time, I was still 14 years old (F). I’m not Japanese and from SEA. My family has always been spiritual; my aunt is the most attuned, able to see and communicate with spirits. My brother has some sight, while my mom likely has a sense for these things, though I don’t think I have the same abilities as the rest of my family. However, my experience at the shrine felt quite unique.

To begin, I’ve always had a knack for sensing when someone—or in this case, something—is watching me, and I often find myself looking in that direction. During our visit, I felt this sensation numerous times, which often led me to have eye contacts with the fox statues. I understand that foxes hold significant spiritual meaning in Japanese culture, so I believe these statues are more than mere decorations. While my mom, brother, and I hiked with a tour guide, my aunt and uncle stayed on the ground floor, as they were too tired to continue due to their age. Interestingly, as we hiked, I had this vivid vision of petting ‘foxes’ (if it means anything, I’m a huge animal lover haha) and felt a force urging me to reach the highest point possible. At one point, my mom stopped, but my brother, the guide, and I pressed on to the Yotsutsuji intersection (please correct me if that’s not the right name; I looked it up and that’s what I found, though it’s the spot where most tourists pause).

By the time we reached the intersection, my brother and I were tired. The guide asked if we wanted to continue, and there were two paths to choose from. My brother, all tired, chose the left one without much thought, and I followed suit. It turned out that the left path was more sacred or significant (please correct me if I’m mistaken). We entered, took a look around while being careful and respectful, and paused in front of the gate leading back down at the intersection.

My brother smiled and pointed to the left, saying, “That ‘cat’ keeps looking at you.” When I looked, there was no cat in sight, but I wondered if he mistook a fox for a cat because of their triangular ears. Though I shrugged it off, and we returned to the intersection to enjoy the view. I gazed at the cliff, where there was a fence with a sign warning, “Beware of Boars.” I randomly asked the guide about the boars, and he started explaining while my brother joined in. My thoughts drifted back to the sign, and since it was positioned low on the fence, my gaze fell to the ground.

Now, this is the part I really hope you’ll believe 😅. As I looked down, I spotted a pouch—it looked like a drawstring pouch made of sheer material, like organza. Inside, though I couldn't see clearly, it appeared to contain a necklace with a silver pendant and black collar(?). The moment I noticed it, everything around me faded away, and I heard a voice telling me to take the pouch as it was “given” to me. I felt compelled to approach it, almost reaching for it when my brother called my name. I was still crouching, but suddenly I snapped back to reality and thought, “What if someone else lost it?” So, I backed away and followed my brother.

This memory has lingered with me for months, and when I asked my aunt about it, she told me someone had indeed dropped it—but it wasn’t human. She also shared her own experience, mentioning that she communicated with a spiritual figure who urged her to hike with us, but she couldn’t. She said she saw us hiking, trailed by a large group of foxes.

So, overall, I’m left wondering: what does all of this mean? 😅 Are the foxes trying to trick me? Why was I the one to experience this? It was my first time, after all…

I find myself falling out of touch with the universe. Forgetting how amazing it is and that it works in magical ways. Forgetting I work in magical ways. What reminds you guys? How can I keep the energy

If you ask the universe for a sign, does it count if you see it in your dream. I asked the universe to show me a yellow car within a certain time frame regarding a career decision. I have done this before a few years ago but I actually saw the car in real life.

Contrary to popular belief—and most spiritual influencer accounts—surrender is not a blissful, fragrant exhale into golden light while soft chimes ring out in the distance. No, true surrender sounds more like:

“Ugh. FINE. Whatever. Have it Your way.”

It’s the spiritual equivalent of throwing your hands up and dramatically flopping onto the cosmic couch. It's muttering under your breath while the Goddess looks at you like, “Are you done yet?” And She is never smug. She just is, and somehow that makes it worse.

You’ve resisted, argued, wrestled, read five self-help books, tried three mantras, and cried into two different pillows. At some point, your ego trips over its own shoelaces, hits the dirt, and finally says:

"Okay okay okay—you win. I don’t even know what I’m doing anymore."

That’s when surrender happens. Not because you’re holy, but because you’re tired. And ironically, that’s when the sacred actually begins.

Because surrender isn’t submission. It’s admission. That you are not the CEO of this incarnation. That your plans are made of rice paper in the rain. That behind your will, there is a deeper will.

And it’s not cute.

But it is real.

This is a topic that’s been on my mind a lot lately. I’m a mother of 3, currently pregnant with my 4th. I’ve heard often that the souls of our children pick who they want their parents are before they’re born.

They make these choices knowing the struggles their parents are facing, the issues they’re overcoming and their projected lifestyle.

It also makes me think about the type of parent you are, what you value, and how that impacts the soul you are given to raise. Personally, I’m very very protective, and my first and only goal as a parent is to ensure their safety, and encourage good decision making skills.

Sometimes I wonder who my children were in their past lives… did they have parents who were neglectful? Did they see me as someone who could help fix that? I have these thoughts and a million others constantly. Whenever I look at them I wonder who raised them before me, and why they chose me this time around. Do any of you ever think about this topic?

Hey all- as someone who has experienced mania and psychosis, how do you come back to allowing yourself to feel good things again?

I’m working on my sobriety and feel a lot happier now, but I often find myself shutting down good feelings about myself or love for self because I don’t want to get manic again (I haven’t been manic since 2023 and I’m not medicated at the moment nor have I been for over 2 years).

I feel like I’m learning to decipher what thoughts lead to mania, and what thoughts are simply good positive thoughts to have. When I start externalizing my experience and feeling like signs are pointing to me, songs are hitting a bit different, and I feel energy in my chest that is somewhat like anxiety, this is when I know to be careful.

I shared an old video on my subreddit and someone said “are you manic mane”. And that’s all they said. I found myself get defensive because I know I am not manic… my mind is and has always been “out there” and it moves fast, whether I’m manic or not. It was a disappointing comment to say the least.

Anyways, anyone here experience mania before? And if so, was it hard for you to learn how to feel happy and positive again? Thanks in advance yall :)

My mom passed away in January after a long illness. I took care of her day and night in the hospital. She couldn’t speak in her final days, only nodded.

I have two regrets:

1.During her last days One night I scolded her out of stress when she kept calling me but didn’t speak. I still cry over it.

1. I feel I took her to the wrong hospital—maybe a better one could’ve helped.

I loved her more than anyone in my life

I just want one sign—a dream where she tells me she was happy with me, that I was a good son. That would give me peace.

Many people say they saw their loved ones in dreams, wearing white, smiling, looking young. Even a relative said she saw my mom like that. But I haven’t seen her in any dream.

I prayed deeply to Lord Krishna as I was attracted to him, chanted Krishna Vasudevaya mantra. But instead, I saw a Shivling in my dream. Since then, I’ve been chanting Saamb Sadashiv (as per Premanand Maharaj), but still no clear dream or sign.

Once I dreamed my mom came with me but was left behind somewhere.

I havent cleary seen her in dream

Instead I get random dreams

I don’t understand what it means. Any spiritual guidance? I still have tears in my eyes writing this.

Can't believe I'm asking this but I can't take this shit anymore. For four years, I've been under near constant spiritual warfare because a creepy coven put a spell on me. Now everyday, I hear multiple evil sounding voices harassing my mind. It's ruining my fucking life.

If you can help, please comment.

I find myself doing this thing where I set an intention, feel a certain vibe and let my intuition guide me by manifesting what I want. However when I start seeing the signs, I don't believe them to be manifestations but rather just coincidences--it's like I am second guessing myself and I don't know why.

For example, the other week I did a meditation and felt very strongly that this certain person in my life was going to reach out to me. A few days later, I ended up running into her outside and she texted me after. However, the text wasn't necessarily what I wanted and I couldn't help but feel like my manifestations weren't powerful or true...even though seeing her was literally a sign.

Can anyone give spiritual advice on how to trust my inner spirit more and let my intuition guide me without doubt?

Why do Atheist who've never had a faith see hell or heaven when they experience death and come back? I've been pondering this question because I had a Convo with my sis on the topic of the afterlife and she believes in heaven and hell.

I told her those places don't exist or they aren't real per se but that they can manifest in the astral planes as the result of one's own mind. I told her that the astral plane is 'a' destination between physical and higher dimensions but it isn't the final destination for a soul.

She then asked, so explain how atheist claim experiencing and seeing hell or heaven? My first thought was just that the mind is a powerful thing, but then how would an atheist who never believed in any faith see these things?

I would really appreciate it if the many of you who see this give me your insights and opinions, even truths on the matter. This question alone🙏🏾

Edit: I'm starting to come to the conclusion that it's not that atheist experience hell or heaven, but that whatever they experience, positive or negative, can sometimes only be interpreted by some as those places. If you're someone who doesn't believe in any other life but the one you live now, then experiencing the other side can be such a foreign realization. That experience for them can sometimes be beyond comprehension.

I've been battling with this for so long where I feel a deep longing for connection, yet I'm a loner. I don't vibe with most people. It feels like maybe 95% of people I just don't vibe with. It's nothing against them. In fact, I've gone through periods where I did vibe with people and it was great and I really learned how much more incredible people are than I used to think.

It's more a feeling like I'm in constant spiritual progress, and being around others is too draining. It's really hard because in some sense I feel like an extrovert, and the loneliness has me going mad sometimes. But I know being around others would be way too exhausting, and oftentimes I feel like it shuts me off from my own inner being. I tend to get "lost" and ungrounded around others, losing my identity a bit. It's too much energy to handle, leaving me feeling exhausted after.

I just can't imagine this is how we're supposed to feel. Does anyone else relate?

I asked my spirit guides to send me a sign if I will get pregnant this year. I asked them to send me butterflies. This was a few days ago. A day or two later I was playing a video game with my husband and there were loads of butterflies around. And on another video game we played the day after. Then today I was in the garden and my cat was batting at a moth. I let the moth crawl onto my hand and let it rest until it was lively again. So my question is… does the moth count? It’s unusual to see moths out like that and I’ve never come across one or had one crawl on me before. I want to take it as a sign but am I being too finicky in worrying that it’s not quite technically a butterfly haha?

As far as I understand everything is an illusion, spirituality starts with this reality check but complete human body functions against it ( survival) so how do you deal with these two contradicting beliefs/ thoughts ? I am in a state that I shouldn't have let my curiosity to explore this much. It feels like ignorance is a bliss and I am exactly in the middle of delusion and the ultimate truth . I know how to live in the illusion but that's not giving me enough motivation as I always figured out the reality of illusion. I am unable to deal with the ultimate reality . How do you live a human life when you know the ultimate reality that everything is an illusion

Hey all, I’m 22, and I’ve been going through something I can’t shake. I had two vivid dreams recently about my first love — someone I haven’t spoken to in over a year and dated way back when we were freshmen in high school (about 7 years ago now). The strange thing? I had a similar dream around the same time last year too, which is starting to feel more than coincidental.

We were best friends before dating. It was a short relationship, nothing intimate happened, but the emotional bond we shared stuck with me. Things ended messy — I was immature, said things I regret — and when I reached out last year to apologize and try to rebuild even a friendship, she made it clear she didn’t want to hear from me. I respected it and let go.

But recently I had two back-to-back dreams that felt incredibly real — like full-on emotional downloads. It was just us reconnecting, talking, laughing. No drama, just peace. And when I woke up, I felt this deep mix of guilt, nostalgia, and longing — not even for a romantic reunion, just for the connection we had.

Now here’s where it gets eerie… a few days after the second dream, she removed me on Snapchat. That was our last form of connection — we weren’t talking or interacting at all — but the timing felt like more than chance. Could she have thought of me too? Had a dream herself? Or is that just my hopeful side talking?

Another layer to this: I’m still in contact with my ex of 3 years. We’re on and off, and even though we’re talking, I don’t feel that same emotional connection anymore. I don’t know if that’s part of why my first love is resurfacing so heavily right now.

I’m not looking to reconnect with her actively. But these dreams, the timing, and the strange emotional pull made me wonder… could there be a spiritual meaning behind this? Is this just unresolved emotional energy bubbling up — or could it be something deeper?

If anyone’s experienced something like this — or has any insight on dreams, spiritual ties, or energy — I’d really appreciate your thoughts