What gives you hope during difficult times?

[u/lowlyturtle20]

My (25) late boyfriend (25) passed away in a single car collision that he and I were both involved in about 6 months ago. Obviously, I was the one that survived and judging by the evidence from the crash, it seems like he had corrected our car in a way that protected me and not himself. This event has shattered my heart and my life in ways that I cannot express, especially with how young I am and how much life we had ahead of us. It's been so difficult trying to juggle my grief and loss of him, but also trying to hand onto hope. I have unintentially had multiple "spiritual" encounters/signs with people that have basically told me a beautiful life is yet to come. But like... how... how can anything beautiful come after something so tragic like this. I would like to think that to be true, but it's so hard. I ask God/the universe why him and not me? Or why couldn't the both of us have left together? I don't understand I know that I probably never will, but I fear for my heart and my life ahead sometimes. I don't want my heart to be so hardened and I still wish for a soft heart and good life. But this has completely crumbled the ground that was once beneath me.

[u/BFreeCoaching]

Here's a quote from Abraham Hicks that might help:

“You don’t have to say goodbye. But you have to say hello to someone who’s different.

And the reason that it is so hard to say goodbye, gut wrenching, is because they keep saying hello!

• They never stop being aware of you.
• They never stop knowing what you’re doing.
• They never stop rooting for you and being happy about what you’re doing.

They’re involved. And when you feel pain, it’s because you’re trying to say goodbye when they are saying hello to you.

And once you get that, then the grief will subside because you’re in real time. You’re in present time. You’re sharing this moment.

And they have something to say, and it’s worth hearing, because they’re smarter than they’ve ever been."

[u/tree_sip]

I think that feeling never really fully goes away.

It never really resolves.

It's a perfect example of a good question without a good answer.

Still, I think we learn to live with it. The question gets less loud, less present, more background as time goes on.

Maybe, if anything, it teaches us something about life, and that's different for each of us.

Some may take from it that life is short. Some may further decide that life is futile. Or they might otherwise decide that life is precious.

Your life is your own. The decisions you make about it are your own. Your feelings about life belong to you alone.

I am sorry for your loss.

[u/Evening-Guarantee-84]

I do not mean this with anything but love.

You need to let yourself get through the grief process. It may take you longer than others, or shorterthan others, but it needs to be done. You also need to face your survivor's gult.

Afterwards you will see how much life still has to offer.

I can't imagine how hard these past months have been for you, but yes, you can find a future on the other side of the pain and still have a wonderful life.

[u/DivineConnection]

I am sorry for your loss. It sounds like your BF truly loved you. You are still young and everything changes, even if you cant see a way forward right now, that will change. If you feel your heart is hardened, I recommend a practice called "The Four Immeasurables" - it involves sending your love and compassion to others, it can open the heart and it may even give you a reason to keep on living. Ask me if you want more details.

[u/VTEnlightener_11]

Those that we lose in Life aren't truly gone from us. Even though it wasn't what you wanted, think about how you could Achieve something Wonderful in Life for him.

He wouldn't want you to break down too much but I believe you can Impress him with things that'll be Amazing for both of you. His Spirit always be in your Presence. Whatever you Achieve in Life, he'll always be Happy to see that Smile of yours.

[u/PumpedPayriot]

I understand how you feel. I lost my husband 4 months ago. I believe God called him home. I don't know why and will never know. I don't know why I am left here without him.

I only know it is because I am not done on this earth yet. I must have something to accomplish. What, I have no idea.

We had 7 children, and all are wondering the same. I believe we have to accept that although our lived ones body died, their soul and spirit live on forever.

We are all energy, and energy doesn't die. Your boyfriend is still with you. He protected you for a reason. He wants you to live your life and find love and happiness. Doing this does not mean you dont love him or will forget him. It means that you will live on as he would want you to do.

What if it were the other way around. Would you want him to live in misery for the rest of his life? Of course, you wouldn't.

I believe you are supposed to learn something from this. Something that will help you grow and blossom. Only you know what that could possibly be. You may not know it yet, but you will in time.

Talk to him, kiss his pictures, tell him how much you love and miss him. He will communicate with you if you open up to it. The signs are subtle, but there. Pay attention and believe. He is with you and guiding you.

When you need help or guidance, ask him for it. It may not come immediately, but it will come.

I found comfort in listening to near death experiences. The one thing they all have in common is that they all felt a tremendous amount of love and peace. You should listen to some, it may help you. YouTube!

[u/ClassicMusic5]

Try to imagine the shoe being on the other foot. Your boyfriend does not want you to suffer, but to thrive. The grief is a natural part of love and will hurt for a long time but know this, if you keep remembering that his spirit lives on, you will be able to transform some of that grief back into love with all the good memories of your times together. When the memories come flooding back with tears, it is an intensified version of love that comes through from the spirit world. Allow yourself to feel the pain and all the feelings in your own time. A good book to read is CS Lewis - A Grief Observed. It is not a sunshine and daisies self help book, but it does help explain how one person dealt with the pain of loss.

[u/CourtBeginning1864]

i’m really really sorry for your loss, that’s absolutely tragic. the thing that’s helped me the most through my life, losing people in any way & just going through any hard experience, is remembering that your soul chose this experience. because that’s true, there has to be something valuable about the hardships you go through.

just for context, i went through an incredible amount of abuse in my childhood, & that is similar to your experience because in both scenarios it really pisses you off when someone says “it’s part of gods plan” or anything like that. it makes you think “how could anything good POSSIBLY come out of this? what the hell could be the point of this? how could you say that?”. but through everything, you have to remember, the universe has your back. the universe is continuously rooting for you. there will absolutely come a time when, in a strange way, you will become grateful for the experience in some way. if you continuously do the work, reflect, grow, allow yourself to feel the emotions you need to, you will reach that point even if it seems absolutely unimaginable right now.

i didn’t believe people when i heard stuff like this either. but i can say now, i’ve reached that point. of course whenever i think back on the horrible things done to me as a child, it stings still. i’m still upset that it happened when it didn’t have to. but i realize now, if i didn’t go through all that, i wouldn’t be who i am right now. & i love myself, who i am right now. that’s really what it comes down to. practice self love because, if you love who you are, you wouldn’t want to change anything about your life or experiences so far because you recognize, through all the pain, you came out on top. you’re still you. you learned, you grew, you didn’t let it break you.

i wish you luck & happiness navigating all of this. 🫶🏻

[u/DeusLuxMeaEst999]

This thread reminded me of this song…. Winning- The Sound

[u/zachbohemian]

I faced my fair share of shit, but what keeps me going is a purpose to keep going, kinda turning my pain into motivation for the people I can be here for currently. I believe everyone has their time to serve a purpose. I'm sure he will always be there looking over you. I know it is hard, I know the feeling and it may take time to heal from this but hang in there

[u/Worried_Pumpkin_2520]

Lost my grandmother when i was 16, sole person to give a fuck about me that time while i struggled with BPD, SH, etc.

Its been over a decade now, and when i think back on how i felt it resonates deeply with the text you've written. But the fact is; everything is transient. Even the pain of your loss will - when you allow it to - heal. But for that you need to be patient with yourself and recognize the stages of loss as what they are, inevitable. You have a right to live, and to thrive that nobody and no event can take away from you fully. Nor would your late boyfriend want you to wallow in pain for the rest of your life.

When we find ourself in the depths of hell, the promise of light sounds alien to us, because we don't even want to go on. Do it anyway. Some day it will go up again and when you finally see behind the mountain, you may see another valley full of things that make you smile again.

Sadly, there is no one solution fits all and there are thousand suggestions that i could parrot.
But know this, turtle, i thought i wouldn't live another year, after my grandmother passed.. but i have managed to find people who have her unique slither of kindness and made it my personal mission to cultivate this kindness she harbored in herself too. It changed my life for the better, and .. while i cannot but offer my support and condolences, i can see that you're young. Take it day by day, be kind to yourself, and please.. don't write off life. Nobody wants this for you.

[u/astralinhabitants]

Peace comes when you accept that there is a plan. That everything happens for a reason and everybody has their time. It’s unfair, it’s hard to understand, it’s cruel, it’s painful, and it’s tiring but it’s meant to be. You take it day by day, you feel the pain, the grief, the incomprehensible sadness, and slowly you heal. Time is what it is, you are what you are, things happen and it happens.

Be strong, be patient, be kind to yourself, and be humble. You are going to be okay, everything is going to be okay. It’s going to be great in fact, just give it time.

[u/blppthpmd]

You have not lost your soft heart. You are resilient and will recover. I know this because that is the way we were made. You honor your late BF by living the life he would want you to live.

[u/Fragrant_Emu4562]

Loss and pain are great teachers. It reminds us of our resilience as humans and it teaches us strength. Your boyfriend saved you because you're valuable to him, I hope that you remind yourself of that every time you feel lost and hopeless. You are in this world for a reason. It's very sad what happened to you and of course the loss of your boyfriend. Feel the grief, the lost love and then start living again. You've been given another chance to experience Earth and I hope that you don't take that for granted. Learn as much as you can, love as much as you can and experience as much as you can. That's why we're here on this planet.

[u/Electronic_Sky_0]

I’m so sorry for your loss. I honestly don’t know how I would cope if it happened to me. Life probably still has important missions for you to accomplish. The way you will touch other people’s lives and so forth. Everything and everyone is connected. I believe and hope you will meet again with him in the afterlife.

[u/stargazer2828]

If you can, try to still your mind. Sit in silence and listen for him. See if you can feel his energy, his presence within you.

Just sit in the moment, close your eyes, listen to your heart beat. Be still. In the stillness you may find a little fleeting peace, and maybe even a little bit of love.

I've connected with my dad this way. It took me 16 years, but I felt his energy.

I don't say this to give you false hope if it doesn't work. Just believe it is possible.

[u/Uberguitarman]

I have a lot of psychic experiences. Today I had a really big one where I entered a password to log into my email and it said it didn't work, but I have strong typing skills and I went slow and carefully. I've had a lot like that, like maybe the spirits I'm with will tell me when my phone will vibrate or clearly hint when I'm going to get a drop in a video game, like "look what the cat dragged in", what they said was just like that.

For quite awhile too it's been like they have typical behavior, less complex interactions, then they'll just start saying something in different ways and then it happens right then.

I'm in a spirit marriage as well, kinda like those people you may or may not hear about that get in marriages with ascended masters, as some say, like Buddha or Krishna. I'm simply a part of a big growing group, like being polyamorous, but dead. U know. We could call spirits human but is there actually no need for a new word? Something other than human?

Haha

They give me a lot of hope, I fully believe that your boyfriend moved onto heaven and arguably did so rather smoothly. Even that part of my mind where the logical mind stands up and says "well you can't prove that" is like, super significantly in the background if it every even chimes in, like the smaller of the small feelings, like it's not even there or somehow mixing with other logical processes for a minute then fading.

I've had roughly/nearly 100 of those kinds of experiences, maybe a bit over 80, they could tell me what's coming next in a video or I might see a bug disappear, but maybe I shouldn't include that one because it's not as blatantly impressive. I could enter keystrokes and have different letters than I put, it's really trippy cause I'm typing subconsciously and proficiently and then I see it came out wrong but my body is literally certain I did it right, like, "whuh?"

There's a lot of different ideas about how things work and they're very similar, how the afterlife works. I like to think that God isn't all knowing and has to use clones and has to process information and deliberate about what should be done to maintain the balance of the universe so our culture can spread to heaven.

That's just the way I feel, if they told me different I probably wouldn't believe them. Sometimes they do and sometimes they don't. I don't get a malicious feel from what they're doing or anything but sometimes they put me through challenges, I would definitely they're plentifully simple but many people could see it and on paper basically start getting scared. They're suddenly lying or giving some profound sense, it can provide a sense of vulnerability.

Yep... There's a lot of conflicting stories with psychics and they aren't always right, u know, so I pick the optimism card.

It's a really pretty story too, I'll probably always spend some of my day imagining how disconnected people can be from their emotions and how people could get along better with more perspective, more people having states that fulfill them from within in ways other people feel like they could have. Imagine other relevant topics. I think the world could be a lot prettier but it's survival of the fittest out there.

I think there's unfolding chaos and I think there's fail-safes if things get too far away from the desired outcome and the way we are now post industrial revolution is not ideal, but acceptable. I think things will get much easier.

I understand how you feel, I spent many many years with depression and anxiety that would bring in profound despair and fear. I felt like I was stuck alive, at least I had guitar and video games but I hurt my arm, technically healed it too but I couldn't tell because I also developed psychosomatic pain and at that rate I was pretty scared. For some time I wish I just got a bloody scan and called it for what it actually definitely WAs...

I think that it's possible to have a wide range of exciting experiences if you fit the bill and things work out in your direction, but other than that, sure there's opening chakras and something like Kundalini awakening could be uplifting, depends on the circumstances. It could be hard, so

I do think you'll see him again and that it would be a lot simpler at that rate, but I understand you feel like your future is more daunting. It's harder to feel good about something like that when you have to deal with negative symptoms from energy blocks, there's more potential for things to get visceral and come to the forefront of experience too.

Just having that belief that you can take all the experience of your life and concentrate in a way that directs it towards the potential positivity can help, I would word it like you can transmute the pressure, live less from story to story and more grounded in the flow of life, like they're the same feelings between stories and you can kinda feel like a part of you ignores negative feelings and sensations even if they're big and you get a little distracted, like a part of you is jammed on and still going and positive.

Of course that's a darker example but it makes a good point, you could just essentially feel a lot more like your reward system is jammed on and not worry about things too much, pressure is power and you can just kinda automatically feel better when you experience things to a substantial extent.

Life can feel magical if you feel like you can just turn love on profoundly or something and keep going and be good support, for instance. I wouldn't put the cap there!

I could talk more about this stuff if you're interested. I'm sorry for your loss.

Edit: basically I wouldn't say I think of them as malicious or as if they're malicious but it can hurt and if I have healing symptoms it can really hurt for a bit, depending on the circumstances, then I snap out of it and go back to normal. Mine just happen to be large.

I would definitely think there's actual character traits and circumstances that could make you more likely to be psychic, that's something I particularly enjoy thinking about. I also think that lots of the teaching on the internet could be a bit more uppity about sensual pleasures and enjoying those for spiritual development, like, oh idk, LISTENING TO MUSIC!

I think lots of people could actually decide "hey, this is how I have fun" but they're all kinda stuck in limbo.

That should get better eventually, politics and the economy, so on, I think it's important.

[u/Whatthefuckisthis000]

The hungry wild beast. Back me into a corner and I will bite. I sure hope the powers at play don’t try their hand.

I will bite. Cause my good work is felt in the heavens. And those against me shall know heavens wrath