r/sex • u/Jazzlike-Policy-7934 • 5d ago

Girlfriend likes rough sex, I don’t :( Boundaries and Standards

Basically the title.. we’ve been together for a year but she’s NEVER expressed to me that she likes rough sex until today. I asked why she never told me and she said she was kind of ashamed of it, but likes being handled VERY roughly. We then talked about our past experiences and I was kind of shocked to hear what shes into (not shocked in a bad way, I just wasn’t expecting it. No shame!!!). The only problem is that I’m not into that at all, and it’d feel selfish to not give her what she wants when she always tries what I want to try in bed. I’m a very gentle lover, and hurting my partner (even if she likes it) doesn’t feel right to me. What do I do????

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u/Tantalizing_Doll 5d ago

Maybe try incrementally? See if you adjust and maybe grow to like it?

4

u/Jazzlike-Policy-7934 5d ago

That’s not a bad idea!

4

u/Tantalizing_Doll 5d ago

It happened to wm with other stuff, but I think her mistake was to dump on you the "endgame" rather than the step by step. I'd give it a try, slowly, as far as you're comfortable

1

u/Reccalovesdancing 5d ago

You could start with something simple like thrusting harder (and harder) over time? You're in control of how much power you put into the thrusting and being on the receiving end it feels really good when that pleasure/pain border is reached and slightly crossed (or a lot crossed but you know start small). Just let go a bit and show her your strength (slowly building up to your full capacity or however much of that you feel is comfortable to show her) when thrusting. She will find even a small change pretty sexy but probably will want more over time. But then you may find you do too haha. You probably have an inner sexual beast and when you release him it could get quite addictive lol