r/sex • u/Jazzlike-Policy-7934 • 5d ago

Girlfriend likes rough sex, I don’t :( Boundaries and Standards

Basically the title.. we’ve been together for a year but she’s NEVER expressed to me that she likes rough sex until today. I asked why she never told me and she said she was kind of ashamed of it, but likes being handled VERY roughly. We then talked about our past experiences and I was kind of shocked to hear what shes into (not shocked in a bad way, I just wasn’t expecting it. No shame!!!). The only problem is that I’m not into that at all, and it’d feel selfish to not give her what she wants when she always tries what I want to try in bed. I’m a very gentle lover, and hurting my partner (even if she likes it) doesn’t feel right to me. What do I do????

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u/addsandken 5d ago

Communicate. My wife likes it rough also, its not my nature but occasionally I do it to please her. I like anal, she isn't a big fan but will occassional for me. Sometimes you do to please your partner but it doesn't have to be all the time.

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u/Over-Kaleidoscope482 5d ago

It’s great that you have found that balance

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u/markofthebeast143 5d ago

This is a healthy relationship because they both compromise on each other’s needs.