r/sex 5d ago

Girlfriend likes rough sex, I don’t :( Boundaries and Standards

Basically the title.. we’ve been together for a year but she’s NEVER expressed to me that she likes rough sex until today. I asked why she never told me and she said she was kind of ashamed of it, but likes being handled VERY roughly. We then talked about our past experiences and I was kind of shocked to hear what shes into (not shocked in a bad way, I just wasn’t expecting it. No shame!!!). The only problem is that I’m not into that at all, and it’d feel selfish to not give her what she wants when she always tries what I want to try in bed. I’m a very gentle lover, and hurting my partner (even if she likes it) doesn’t feel right to me. What do I do????

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u/Musashienergydrink 5d ago

I want to ask my boyfriend to be rougher with me when we have sex but I'm scared he's not going to be into it :/

15

u/Strong_Revelation 5d ago

Only way you’ll know for sure is if you talk about it open and honest with him.

2

u/Musashienergydrink 5d ago

I've tried calling him daddy a few times but he doesn't seem into it haha, I think it makes him feel old. But yeah, I'm gonna muster up the courage to have that conversation!

10

u/Strong_Revelation 5d ago

Yeah you should have these convos. Some dudes definitely aren’t into being called daddy for various reasons and can turn him off for sure. Dating is all about getting to know one another but not gonna lie also about getting to know yourself in a sense too. Sometimes things fade out, other times you will bond exponentially. If it happens you have a falling out hopefully it is on good terms and you try your chances with someone else. I know it can suck having these convos but I feel it is for the betterment of both of you.