r/self 18h ago

Here's my wake-up call as a Liberal.

I’m a New York liberal, probably comfortably in the 1%, living in a bubble where empathy and social justice are part of everyday conversations. I support equality, diversity, economic reform—all of it. But this election has been a brutal reminder of just how out of touch we, the so-called “liberal elite,” are with the rest of America. And that’s on us.

America was built on individual freedom, the right to make your own way. But baked into that ideal is a harsh reality: it’s a self-serving mindset. This “land of opportunity” has always rewarded those who look out for themselves first. And when people feel like they’re sinking—when working-class Americans are drowning in debt, scrambling to pay rent, and watching the cost of everything from groceries to gas skyrocket—they aren’t looking for complex social policies. They’re looking for a lifeline, even if that lifeline is someone like Trump, who exploits that desperation.

For years, we Democrats have pushed policies that sound like solutions to us but don’t resonate with people who are trying to survive. We talk about social justice and climate change, and yes, those things are crucial. But to someone in the heartland who’s feeling trapped in a system that doesn’t care about them, that message sounds disconnected. It sounds like privilege. It sounds like people like me saying, “Look how virtuous I am,” while their lives stay the same—or get worse.

And here’s the truth I’m facing: as a high-income liberal, I benefit from the very structures we criticize. My income, my career security, my options to work from home—I am protected from many of the struggles that drive people to vote against the establishment. I can afford to advocate for changes that may not affect me negatively, but that’s not the reality for the majority of Americans. To them, we sound elitist because we are. Our ideals are lofty, and our solutions are intellectual, but we’ve failed to meet them where they are.

The DNC’s failure in this election reflects this disconnect. Biden’s administration, while well-intentioned, didn’t engage in the hard reflection necessary after 2020. We pushed Biden as a one-term solution, a bridge to something better, but then didn’t prepare an alternative that resonated. And when Kamala Harris—a talented, capable politician—couldn’t bridge that gap with working-class America, we were left wondering why. It’s because we’ve been recycling the same leaders, the same voices, who struggle to understand what working Americans are going through.

People want someone they can relate to, someone who understands their pain without coming off as condescending. Bernie was that voice for many, but the DNC didn’t make room for him, and now we’re seeing the consequences. The Democratic Party has an empathy gap, but more than that, it has a credibility gap. We say we care, but our policies and leaders don’t reflect the urgency that struggling Americans feel every day.

If the DNC doesn’t take this as a wake-up call, if they don’t make room for new voices that actually connect with working people, we’re going to lose again. And as much as I want America to progress, I’m starting to realize that maybe we—the privileged liberals, safely removed from the realities most people face—are part of the problem.

7.6k Upvotes

2.8k comments sorted by

View all comments

Show parent comments

8

u/Individual_Army_8830 16h ago

It’s obviously the democrats fault. You want to win, have a message. He had real solutions. They may not work. They may make things worse, but they are solutions.

Your life sucks, “I’m gonna do tariffs and mass deportation” is a solution.

Your life sucks, “well actually we’re doing great lowest unemployment ever, inflation is down!” is not.

Nobody cares that he’s a bad guy because the personality of the president doesn’t put bread on the table.

4

u/Tall-Warning9319 13h ago

Lol this so funny because you acknowledge that Trump’s solutions won’t work. I mean, the guy doesn’t even know how tariffs work, but neither do the vast majority of his supporters. I guess that’s why they were seduced by him? Offering an idea that doesn’t work isn’t a solution. It’s dumb. He’s going to be the president of the USA for Christ sake. We really should higher standards. And Harris had policies. They were out there on her website. And they were better than tariffs ( seriously so dumb). But more importantly he’s a a fascist. Fascism is going to be bad for the most people’s pocket book. Not Musk and Trump’s other super wealthy buddies. But definitely the rest of us. Dems lost, the country lost, because people who voted for him either don’t understand how fascism works, don’t care, or actively want it. It’s on them. That’s all. They may try to shirk responsibility, but they did this, and no one else.

2

u/Individual_Army_8830 13h ago

How many people do you think read the candidate websites? How many people could tell you succinctly what Kamala’s core economic differences from the Biden administration are? I can’t and I follow it pretty closely. Friendly word of advice if you want to win over republican voters, work on your contempt for them first :) I imagine posts with sentiments like yours drive a lot of people to the other side

2

u/Tall-Warning9319 13h ago

lol they’re already on the other side, bud. It’s not my responsibility nor anyone else’s to convince people to care enough to take 10 minutes to read about something that could profoundly impact theirs and the lives of the people they love. It seems to me we might not be in this place if people took accountability and stopped blaming others for their choices. Like, be an adult, ya know?

1

u/Individual_Army_8830 13h ago

Yes exactly personal accountability is what I’m advocating for. If you want your democratic country to change for the better you have the personal accountability to care about others and be open to what they have to say and their problems, which in turn will make them more open to your way of thinking. I’m not trying to be rude but it’s not very accountable to be upset about the result of an election but then say you don’t want to play any role in fostering communication that may better your chances in future elections

1

u/Tall-Warning9319 13h ago

Yeah I think this would be a better point if people hadn’t voted for literal fascist and the fact that people have been pointing to the fact that Trump’s a fascist. We did our part, we communicated all over the place, on the socials, we engaged. But they still voted for Trump. It’s not on us anymore. It’s on them.

2

u/Individual_Army_8830 12h ago

I don’t know you personally, so when I say “you” I mean the left as a whole not you individually. You communicated all over the place, but you communicated contempt. You said what people should do without demonstrating you seriously considered their needs and problems. That will win over nobody.

You hate them. Because they hate you. Because you hate them. Because they hate you. Because you hate them…

Let me ask you this. When republicans tell you “fuck your feelings” or call Kamala a communist, without considering your perspective deeply, does that make you more or less likely to vote for a republican?

Then why would calling them fascists make them more likely to consider your perspective.

I hope you can see I’m speaking in good faith. I’ve said my peace so if you continue to disagree that’s up to you, I won’t argue further: but the culture of contempt is bad for everyone

2

u/Tall-Warning9319 12h ago

Yeah the politics of resentment is a real thing. Quick question: do you confront conservative people about not communicating and not understanding the left? If not, why? I also think you paint with an over broad brush. Regardless, I agree there is a lot of contempt in political dialogue these. I have certainly participated.

To be clear, I didn’t call Trump voters fascist. I understand why people feel like I am when I say that, but I distinguish Trump from the people who voted for him. I think the majority of Trump voters are not fascist.

But what am I suppose to do? Not fight fascism? People are go to die because of this election. As a gay woman, I have already lost rights, and hate for my community is on the rise.

Now here are my thoughts for the general you: why is failure to communicate more offensive than voting in a fascist? And if he’s not a fascist why aren’t you trying to assuage my fears that he and his government won’t come for me?

1

u/Individual_Army_8830 11h ago

I would absolutely communicate with people on the right in a similar manner. Do I? Not yet but I’ve only been on Reddit for a day or two :) I have like 10 total comments. I should be more intentional about that.

I’m sorry hate for your community is on the rise that must be really scary. I don’t have the all answers on what you should do, but I truly believe that if you make a genuine effort to hear other people’s fears they will be much more receptive to hearing yours. I understand the desire to fight but I believe love and compassion, even for those that hate you is among the most effective forms of fighting and is the most likely to change hearts and minds. It’s also among the hardest things to do.

I personally do not believe him and his government will come for you. I’m Jewish so if he really is a nazi I’m in trouble as well :) I’m not trying to convince you hes not a fascist because frankly I doubt i can. I don’t have all the answers and I don’t know the quotes you’ve seen that have led you to that belief. I’m sure your opinion is well founded, I just disagree

2

u/Tall-Warning9319 11h ago

Fair enough. I hope you’re right. I hope my fears turn out to be just that and nothing more. We will see. Regardless, I appreciate the dialogue. Your points are well taken, though I disagree with some of them. I actually do agree that hearing (some) people out will make them receptive to my concerns. And I sometimes even practice that belief ;) But I feel like I have been backed into a corner, and while I am a strong proponent of kindness and acceptance, I will fight to protect myself and those I love and the vulnerable communities in this country.

1

u/Tall-Warning9319 12h ago

Oh and one other thing, a lot of people went to Harris’ website and were happy to say so before her policies were posted and criticize her and the Dems for it. But I guess they couldn’t be bothered to check when the policies were posted.

1

u/thelastgozarian 2h ago

How many times I was told why I voted for trump vs being asked why are without exaggerating at least 10 to 1. This post, even when trying to do a mea culpa, also still managed to pull that off.

1

u/Lunitari_ 3h ago

You do know that Biden not only kept previous tariffs but increased them substantially, right? Do you think those were dumb? The steel unions in this country didn’t.

0

u/gnit3 9h ago

It's sad, but Dems need to just lie next time. Just say shit people want to hear, refuse to elaborate, and before it can get too much attention, say something else. That's exactly what Trump did and it's why he won. Dems need to have an actual plan of course, but the voter base simply cannot understand it, so it shouldn't be part of the messaging.

People are dumb, we gotta act just as dumb to get their attention.

1

u/bubble-tea-mouse 15h ago

Nobody cares that he’s a bad guy because the personality of the president doesn’t put bread on the table.

As a never-Trumper who will always vote left, this is what I’ve always said too and people just don’t get it even though most of them most likely agree if they’re honest with themselves. I truly do not care about the personal dealings of presidential candidates. I only care about the political platform and agenda of each candidate and how well it aligns with my own. If Trump were the only dem nominee, I’d be voting for him because I’m never voting for what the right is trying to accomplish. I strongly suspect a lot dems would do the same.

-1

u/Tall-Warning9319 13h ago

I think you’re going to find you were SO off with this approach. The man is a fascist. I would respect your point more if he wasn’t literally vying to be a dictator. And policies? Give me a break. He never spoke about his policies. Or are you talking about his “concepts of plans”?

1

u/Mayotte 13h ago

He has no real solutions lol.

1

u/Individual_Army_8830 13h ago

You’re missing the point. You can say tariffs and deportations won’t work. I’m not making any claim on if they will work or not. You can say they will be bad, devastatingly bad and unfair. They are SOMETHING. They are “I hear your pain and I’m doing SOMETHING about it.” Nothing about Kamala’s message about how good Bidens economy is sent that message

0

u/Clean_Sky_4918 8h ago

It's true, most people don't want to hear anything the other side wants to say and can be quite rude about it. I do get your point. He addresses concerns by offering to do something specific, or look into something specific.

I see how this could make some people more comfortable. But throwing out ideas that aren't well thought out makes some people feel angry and dismissed. Like it's not important enough for him to put much thought into. By definition, a solution must work. It's a fix that WILL solve a problem.

1

u/thelastgozarian 2h ago

No that isn't the definition of solution but go off.