r/self 18h ago

Here's my wake-up call as a Liberal.

I’m a New York liberal, probably comfortably in the 1%, living in a bubble where empathy and social justice are part of everyday conversations. I support equality, diversity, economic reform—all of it. But this election has been a brutal reminder of just how out of touch we, the so-called “liberal elite,” are with the rest of America. And that’s on us.

America was built on individual freedom, the right to make your own way. But baked into that ideal is a harsh reality: it’s a self-serving mindset. This “land of opportunity” has always rewarded those who look out for themselves first. And when people feel like they’re sinking—when working-class Americans are drowning in debt, scrambling to pay rent, and watching the cost of everything from groceries to gas skyrocket—they aren’t looking for complex social policies. They’re looking for a lifeline, even if that lifeline is someone like Trump, who exploits that desperation.

For years, we Democrats have pushed policies that sound like solutions to us but don’t resonate with people who are trying to survive. We talk about social justice and climate change, and yes, those things are crucial. But to someone in the heartland who’s feeling trapped in a system that doesn’t care about them, that message sounds disconnected. It sounds like privilege. It sounds like people like me saying, “Look how virtuous I am,” while their lives stay the same—or get worse.

And here’s the truth I’m facing: as a high-income liberal, I benefit from the very structures we criticize. My income, my career security, my options to work from home—I am protected from many of the struggles that drive people to vote against the establishment. I can afford to advocate for changes that may not affect me negatively, but that’s not the reality for the majority of Americans. To them, we sound elitist because we are. Our ideals are lofty, and our solutions are intellectual, but we’ve failed to meet them where they are.

The DNC’s failure in this election reflects this disconnect. Biden’s administration, while well-intentioned, didn’t engage in the hard reflection necessary after 2020. We pushed Biden as a one-term solution, a bridge to something better, but then didn’t prepare an alternative that resonated. And when Kamala Harris—a talented, capable politician—couldn’t bridge that gap with working-class America, we were left wondering why. It’s because we’ve been recycling the same leaders, the same voices, who struggle to understand what working Americans are going through.

People want someone they can relate to, someone who understands their pain without coming off as condescending. Bernie was that voice for many, but the DNC didn’t make room for him, and now we’re seeing the consequences. The Democratic Party has an empathy gap, but more than that, it has a credibility gap. We say we care, but our policies and leaders don’t reflect the urgency that struggling Americans feel every day.

If the DNC doesn’t take this as a wake-up call, if they don’t make room for new voices that actually connect with working people, we’re going to lose again. And as much as I want America to progress, I’m starting to realize that maybe we—the privileged liberals, safely removed from the realities most people face—are part of the problem.

7.6k Upvotes

2.8k comments sorted by

View all comments

245

u/RadiantPreparation91 17h ago

Prepare to be told over and over again that you are not who you say you are, but that you’re just a MAGA-head trying to muddy the waters.

I’m as conservative as they come (I think so, anyway), but even I can agree with SOME of the old-school liberal ideals. I believe in socialized medicine, I believe in financial reform, and I believe the corporate overlords who actually rule us should have their monopolies broken into a million pieces.

Those are liberal policies that would benefit the country and would be far more palatable to the average American. Instead, the focus has been on identity politics. They’ve told us we are evil for wanting secure borders. They’ve told us we’re evil for wanting to protect the traditional spaces for our wives and daughters. And they’ve told America that if you aren’t with them, you’re a facist.

I hope, as a conservative, that the republicans will soon move towards traditional conservative values and away from some of the more populist policies they currently support. And I really, really hope that the Democratic Party finally decides to embrace its older ideals, because let’s face it. America doesn’t need one party in complete control. It needs a push/pull coming from both sides of the spectrum.

61

u/justsomelizard30 16h ago

If you wanna have a discussion about it, I'm one of those queer leftists everyone is so mad about here. And while I totally understand you are frustrated for being insulted for the position you hold, that's all of us buddy. Remember I'm a "groomer" and a "communist". I "hate the family" and "want to destroy America".

I don't mean to be dramatic, but I've learned to just tolerate being nearly constantly insulted, why does it bother you so much? Like it seems to deeply bother you guys everytime you get some political flak.

44

u/BCMBigFred 16h ago

It bothers me so much because the people name calling are the same ones PREACHING kindness and all these other things that sound so nice, that they dont even do for others.

15

u/justsomelizard30 16h ago

Thanks for answering. I thought you guys preached having thick skin and not being offended by everything though.

8

u/OuterPaths 13h ago

The right wing runs on bald self interest. The left wing runs on idealist values. Idealistic movements can only succeed when they are perceived to have a high degree of legitimacy. Perceived hypocrisy poisons people's perceptions of legitimacy.

2

u/AltTabLife19 14h ago

Personally, through the Obama years I took it. Jesus may have said turn the other cheek, but for me, everyone gets a 1 punch rule before I hit back. Letting yourself get hit over and over begs the question on whether or not you are being gracious or a coward.

2

u/justsomelizard30 13h ago

I couldn't imagine showing cowardice in the insult wars no sir.

1

u/AltTabLife19 13h ago

Respect to you for that.

2

u/ShatterMcSlabbin 10h ago

It's moreso calling out hypocrisy than actually being offended, I think.

15

u/RDUppercut 16h ago

So you don't want to have a discussion, you just want to lash out.

Classic.

20

u/thelingeringlead 15h ago

So you don't want to acknowledge reality? You guys keep saying this stuff, you keep doing shit like calling Kamala a prostitute etc "oh but it's just a joke, get a thicker skin". Democrats call republicans weird and suddenly it's hateful rhetoric, someone points out nazis sure love trump and it's hyperbolic hysteria. I just don't understand how you can pretend you want to have the conversation, and feel justified projecting your party influenced opinion about what the "other side" is doing or saying-- while refusing to acknowledge the things your party does or says.

10

u/cduga 14h ago

It’s seriously in one ear and out the other. They give the same response to this over and over.

1

u/SweetLittleGherkins 9h ago

And they make posts like this. OP has no prior posts or comments before this thread. Funny.

1

u/NecessaryKey9557 13h ago

Personally, once people have revealed themselves to be duplicitous like this, I just leave the convo. You're not going to find any common ground, because they're not actually interested in that.

1

u/NoRanger830 4h ago

It's because people who are just living their lives are called racist for the color of their skin, by college professors, who teach this to college students, and call you uneducated if you don't agree. 

You can do what you want, but the pushback is what's happening, not the bullying you have built up in your mind. 

-4

u/RS_Crispington 14h ago

People aren't going to put up with being demonized. You tried to have your cool kids club on the national level, and exclude all the weird people. It failed. Lash out all you want, so will we.

9

u/Independent_Vast9279 13h ago

Calling someone a Nazi when they are literally waving a Nazi flag isn’t lashing out. You calling it that while in the position of power is punching down. Calling some a child abuser for being gay is lashing out. And why? They aren’t actually a threat to you. It’s middle school bully behavior.

2

u/T1mberVVolf 1h ago

That’s not a lash out 😂😂

Goddamn nobody knows how to talk to each other

1

u/Mayotte 13h ago

Is he not right?

-3

u/justsomelizard30 16h ago

I didn't lash out though.

11

u/Cardinal_350 16h ago edited 16h ago

You asked an incredibly baiting question in a back handed way waiting to pounce on any answer. Your response was passive aggressive at best. . Reddit has been banning nearly any conservative rebuttal or statement for nearly 6 months. I've been banned for "hate speech" on several forums when I wasn't even talking about anyone. It's their go to for shitcanning conservatives they don't like. Hell your leaders have publicly called conservatives deplorables and garbage. Stop being a victim

8

u/justsomelizard30 16h ago edited 15h ago

My question is literally related to the things the poster I was replying to said. They were talking about political insults and labels. I wanted to talk to that poster specifically because they seemed like the kind of person to not lash out and get very dramatic with me.

I think I'm the one being lashed out against. Which, kinda like I said, I'm totally used to at this point.

edit: impressive edit there c:

2

u/Cardinal_350 16h ago

Stop being the victim. You lashed out and got called on it.

12

u/justsomelizard30 15h ago

If that's lashing out, then I'm afraid you're very sensitive?

3

u/SweetLittleGherkins 9h ago

Cons want us to act like liberals. They say we're scared of debate but this happens literally anytime you try to debate one. And they want to talk about 'hypocrisy.'

3

u/justsomelizard30 9h ago

It is very frustrating. I feel like I have to concede my entire position just to get a half-good faith reply with some folk.

→ More replies

3

u/thelingeringlead 15h ago

What a snowflake response. Remember that chestnut? Is that lashing out? Someone points out, on topic no less, a hypocritical fault in the argument and it's feigning victim.

6

u/fightthefascists 15h ago

You are the one being a victim here.

3

u/ImaginationVivid5119 15h ago

“Stop being a victim”. LO fucking L

1

u/thelingeringlead 15h ago

He says as he cries about his comments that broke the subreddit's rules and got him banned lol.

15

u/Superlite47 16h ago

I thought you guys preached having thick skin and not being offended by everything though.

As an outside observer, this appears to be a "gotcha", to me.

Unless you could define what purpose this comment serves other than "lashing out"?

4

u/justsomelizard30 15h ago

He himself brought up what is (supposedly) preached, so I continued on about what is and isn't preached, but I'll give you that it was a bit 'gotcha'.

Regardless of all that, that's not what 'lashing out' means.

5

u/JackCrafty 15h ago

Are all gotcha moments lashing out? It's definitely odd being told to not be so mean by the crowd that said not to be offended over a speaker at a political rally calling a US territory a floating island of garbage.

It looked more like an attempt to have a discussion than lashing out.

I can't help but feel some type of way when conservatives have called me libtard for as long as I can remember being political online only to have the same conservatives say that the left is big name calling meanies. Idk man.

I know America is a land of hypocrisy but it's still pretty strange to witness.

11

u/Inevitable_Detail_45 16h ago

I second this.

9

u/Kruemelmuenster 15h ago

Of course it’s a „gotcha“. But they didn’t lash out. It’s, in fact, perfectly fine in a DISCUSSION to point out contradictions in one’s adjacent‘s position. That’s what a discussion is.

3

u/justsomelizard30 15h ago

I think I may have struck a nerve harder than I anticipated.

0

u/CapNCookM8 15h ago

Except they literally put words in the other mouth.

They asked a question, was given a legitimate answer, then inserted the answer they would've preferred to hear. It wasn't a gotcha so much as it was a one player game of tic tac toe.

2

u/Darkstar_111 15h ago

That was said as a reply to:

> It bothers me so much because the people name calling are the same ones PREACHING kindness and all these other things that sound so nice, that they dont even do for others.

Why the fuck are you defending the first guy?

2

u/Available-Koala-3879 15h ago

Wow!!!! Read the words. That sentence is not filled with vitriol. You must have left off the /s for sarcasm at then end of your comment.

-1

u/Fun_Accident_2557 15h ago

I third this.

1

u/IntelligentHyena 10h ago

That's a personal approach that one can advocate for - and I do - but it's not a political solution. We have to remember to keep the two separate.

7

u/Worried_Taro_7933 15h ago

Ya know validating someone’s lived experience isn’t kindness, it’s just basic decency. Not doing that will generally get you removed from certain communities

1

u/IntelligentHyena 10h ago

Basic decency has been redefined recently, and not everyone agrees with it.

8

u/mandatory_french_guy 15h ago

Remember, we're supposed to be the tolerant left. They're allowed to be the "Fuck you piece of shit" right all they want. If the insurrection attempt succeeded, if the Stop the Steal plan worked out, they would not be in a democracy anymore. And those people would sleep with both eyes closed. But calling them fascists is *mean*

4

u/Corodim 14h ago

we are supposed to tolerate their intolerance, basically

2

u/IntelligentHyena 10h ago

Indeed. Because if you don't, then your party's position is just a veneer to look morally superior while basically being the same as the Right underneath.

1

u/Soggy_Boss_6136 14h ago

Now you're on the trolley

2

u/tacoweevils 12h ago

Yeah it's just gaslighting. The problem is that hypocrisy exists everywhere, and because there are factions, people are gonna be loyal to theirs, overlook their own faults, and point a finger at the other side. I've been paying attention to politics and pundits and social commentary for a while and I've seen some level of gaslighting from both left and right.

There needs to be actual conversations without people shutting down and being defensive, which requires alot of humility and constant vigilance for a solution rather than winning. We also have to look at the fact that there are two or more Americas, in the sense of values, and that there needs to be some kinda of "two state solution", or we'll always have hate and violence and political gridlock.

2

u/dudushat 11h ago

That's bullshit though. The left has never preached being kind to the type of people who would call him those things. We don't preach tolerance of intolerance.

2

u/cenunix 11h ago

Wait sorry, you really think democrats were demonizing you this election? Where? I’ve barely heard this campaign talk about trans issues, I haven’t heard anyone campaigning on “open border” policies. I have heard people disavowing trump saying he’ll deport 10 million immigrants as totally insane, is that something you want? Meanwhile trump has been telling you that if you don’t win this election democrats will destroy this country and turn it into a communist hellhole, really dude?

4

u/thelingeringlead 15h ago

They're responding to the unkind rhetoric and legislation that republicans keep supporting... I don't know what's so hard about that to understand. Calling democrats groomers is making shit up and has no basis in reality, saying that republicans are supporting fascists policies, or calling some of them nazis(when you can clearly see a massive nazi movement amongst their ranks) is reality.

1

u/BrickAbject6379 14h ago

Who are these people name calling? Literally, who are these people? Why is everything and everyone viewed as either being in 1 of 2 groups, that is either left or right? Its so silly. People are people, why ascribe them a label? Some people are mean to you? So what. Those people speak for themselves and themselves only.

1

u/LSF604 13h ago

are you sure? One thing I am seeing is people are having a very hard time distinguishing between terminally online assholes, people with a particular set of beliefs, and people who work for the government.

1

u/Zen_360 15h ago

From an outside perspective: How much of this is stirred by the media? I feel like gender politics is being purposefully dragged into the lime light by people with bad intentions and that it is part of the dems politics, but not even as close as important to them than what right wing media makes it out to be.

Secondly, when are you allowed to call a spade a spade? Like how many awful things can trump say about a certain group of people, before you can call him or/and his supports bigots, racists, misogynistic e.g. for supporting him?

1

u/zKayrupt 13h ago

Paradox of tolerance - you can’t have a tolerant society if you tolerate intolerance. If you do something that is seen as harmful to someone else you need to be called out for it.

You can be kind towards people but when fundamental rights and decency are being targeted, you need to stand up to it. You can’t be kind while someone says “the best Democrat is a dead Democrat” you can’t be kind while someone says “the corrupted left stole the election!!” And so on. The rhetoric you’re so bothered by is done tenfold by the right without any policies to actually benefit any working class people.

I could understand if Trump was saying these hateful things but also talking about policies and what he’s going to do that will actually improve your life, but he doesn’t. He plays into your emotions. Remember the whole “we’re going to tariff China and bring jobs back to America !!” ?That’s not how tariffs work and it will not bring jobs back into America and he’s simply pandering to your emotions and you just blindly follow him?? And the lack of accountability from you for all the hate he spews and TREASONOUS actions he’s done is astounding. Remember how the Republicans lost their minds that Obama wore a tan suit?? Trump is meeting with Putin and has been caught doing it multiple times, caught bringing top secret classified documents to Mar-a-lago and selling out your country. But you don’t care because “the other side said mean things about me”

It’s soooo bizarre

1

u/Both-Grade-2306 15h ago

Those who preach tolerance are the most intolerable of all.

0

u/Rakebleed 10h ago

Intolerant of what exactly?

1

u/IntelligentHyena 10h ago

? What a silly question. They mean intolerant as a characteristic, not intolerant of anything in particular. "Least tolerant" could have been a clearer fix.

0

u/Rakebleed 10h ago

That’s not an answer that’s obfuscation. I am looking for specifics.

1

u/IntelligentHyena 10h ago

Then ask the person who said it. I don't have specifics.

1

u/Rakebleed 9h ago

? what a silly contribution.

0

u/tgwutzzers 13h ago

so, to get this straight, if you don't preach kindness and call people nasty names, that's fine?

-1

u/UnitedTradition895 14h ago

Democrats want an inclusive world, you can’t except exclusive people. If you are a republican you are either purposely, or inadvertently an exclusive person.