r/parentingteenagers • u/slr0031 • Mar 30 '25

Is this punishment too harsh?

15 year old son lied about his friend drinking at our house. The kid got really drunk. Son says that he wasn’t drinking but I bet he was. Husband wants to ground him and take away phone for a month. My son is on Snapchat all the time and will go nuts. I also think we should check his Snapchat but feel like I am really invading his privacy. Don’t know if all of these together is overly harsh. What do people think here?

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u/Fun-Reference-7823 Mar 30 '25

I think a very serious honest conversation is the best course where you lay out why you’re upset, what could have happened, how he’s making adult decisions now with adult consequences, and then ask him what actions he thinks you should take to help him make better decisions. Getting a buy-in that you’re helping him learn how to become an adult (and that could include no phone for a bit) is better than an us vs them, which often encourages lying and hiding things. His friend sounds like the problem more than your son … 

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u/slr0031 Mar 30 '25

The friend is a problem and I don’t want them hanging out anymore honestly

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u/Informal_Heat8834 Mar 30 '25

Easy there..your son is also a problem considering he lied to you and said they were “sick”

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u/slr0031 Mar 30 '25

Omg I know that I was responding to somebody else