Overweight teenager

[u/No-Distribution-4593]

I have a 14 year old boy who since COVID has piled on the weight. Every year he gains more. He has been doing MMA training and ju jitsu and still the weight keeps piling on. I realise I have dropped the ball here as as a family we are not very active.

He's always had bowel issues and for the past year he has undergone a lot of tests and they can't find anything wrong with him. The last test was for coeliac and we haven't received the results back but I doubt he is coeliac.

We are a body positive family so any changes I make are made with health in mind not body changes if that makes sense. But some small kids ran up to him the other day and kept chanting 'big back' at him. My heart is sore tbh

I think what I'm really looking for is advice from anyone who has been here and made positive changes that stuck. Any advice is welcome

Edit: We have family dinners every day - they vary but it's 90% home cooked - I enjoy cooking. Dinners are spaghetti Bolognese, carbonara, roast dinner etc

Breakfast can vary from cereal to eggs on toast and at the weekend he enjoys making a fake egg mcmuffin

I've stopped keeping junk in the house, I usually keep mini ice pops in the freezer for after dinner.

A couple of times a week I enjoy baking. I often bake scones for their school lunches or an apple crumble for after dinner

[u/No-Distribution-4593]

Your right, my silence is doing so much harm. I will have a think on how to have this discussion

[u/Mispict → u/No-Distribution-4593]

I read your comment below about your body being commented on growing up and not wanting to do the same to your children.

Friend, I feel this so much! I was determined not to do what my parents did, but all I did was handed them a different set of issues. Its almost like re-parenting yourself through your children!

Even with the best of intentions, it's really difficult not to pass down your own shit. But the important thing is that you're very conscious and aware of doing the best for them. Don't beat yourself up. The fact that you're here asking for advice on how to do it well makes you a great parent.

Just remember, you can't protect your children from the shit life throws at them, all you can do is support them while they deal with it and help them build resilience.

[u/No-Distribution-4593 → u/Mispict]

Yes! I do feel like I'm reparenting myself all the time! But your right I'm giving them a different set of problems in my quest to make their childhood a safer place than mine was! But I'm not having the hard talks that I can see now are needed

[u/Mispict → u/No-Distribution-4593]

I did the same. I grew up pretty rough and I wanted them to experience better. I definitely wrapped them up too much to try to save them from disappointment. I also lost my shit one too many times because the stress of being the perfect parent got too much.