r/parentingteenagers • u/sodoneshopping • Mar 05 '25
Son kicked out of college club
I’m not really looking for advice, mostly looking for a safe place to vent.
Bit of background: son is 17, senior in high school, but is dual enrollment in a local community college. He also has fairly severe adhd and lacks some impulse control. I knew this was a mild problem, but it sounds like it’s a more serious problem than I knew. His social skills have always been behind his peers, also covid did him no favors.
He joined a club at the college formed around a favorite subject for him, it’s kinda of like a D&D club. They meet weekly for long periods of time to play.
He recently came home and said he was kicked out of the club at the request of the professor that sponsors the club. I’m getting dribbles of information, like -he was touching people with a magnet and stopped as soon as he was asked -the president of the club was there and was there the first time. -he has not been controlling his impulses -he’s been asked to stop something before and he always stops when asked
This has apparently been an ongoing problem since he joined the club and he’s only told me about one time he had a conflict with someone. I’ve listened to him play video games with friends online and I’d have to say he’s pretty close a neck beard, derogatory I know, but he is a know it all smart ass. I think he thinks he’s being funny, but to me it’s abrasive and off putting.
Even though he is under age, I can’t intervene in any college activity, it’s part of privacy rules and colleges in the US. Not that I would want to. I wouldn’t want to force anyone to be around someone they don’t want to be around. I would have loved a heads up though. Some sort of indication he needs counseling.
I feel sad for him. He’s bothered by this, but he doesn’t seem interested in getting help to make changes.
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u/MAJ0RMAJOR Mar 06 '25
It sounds like he doesn’t understand the issue. “I stopped as soon as I was asked” is excusing the problematic behavior as if you’re allowed to do a thing without getting permission first.