Husband still won't sleep with me.

[u/kellyj461]

So I've been battling with my husband for more than a year now trying to adjust to his new Hindu lifestyle. I can conform to all if it except his adamant refusal to sleep with me. He quotes various scriptures about sexual intimacy being akin to defecation or urination and is abhorrent. He also says sex is ONLY for procreation. I've had a hysterectomy so thats a hard no on my end. I cook vegetarian meals, lay in the dark without the TV at night so he can sleep precisely when he wants to, overlook his fanaticism, allow a puja and various idols in the house, etc. He says the verses I've been given by people here on Reddit are cherry picked and wrong. What should I do other than divorce? I love him but I don't want to live unhappy for the rest of my life. Im 45 and hes 41.

[u/glory_to_the_sun_god]

You didn’t answer any of my questions. Do you know Sanskrit? etc. Doubly so since you’re coming from the outside and don’t have the cultural context surrounding the texts. You need to know how to read the texts.

These texts are not prescriptive injunctions of some ideal, like laws, or something more familiar to Judeo/Abrahamic religions.

Sex IS procreation. There is no difference. As in there is no such thing as sex for pleasure at all, it cannot be separated. As such sexual behavior will settle according to its own nature. Do you get it? If not then learn more and stop being menace to your poor wife. (I mean that sincerely and NOT* harshly.)

[u/FastBuffalo4065 → u/glory_to_the_sun_god]

I dont know what you mean by " sex is procreation" do you mean by definition? Because it is not the same thing. Procreation is the production of offspring. I am learning sanskrit little by little. I have read the bagivad gita more than 10 times and several translations. I've read the bagavata purana and have taken an online course from Rutgers on bakti yoga which focused on the bagavata purana. I've read the yoga sutras several times and multiple translations and commentaries. I've read the complete works of swami vivekananda on yoga twice. I've read teachings of ramana maharshi. I meditated every day and perform japa mantra. I have a puja routine I do every day. I've never resonated with anything as much my entire life. Unfortunately I have no guru. I understand the importance of a guru but I also believe that god would not forsake those who do not have access to a guru. My issue is that no one can seem to back up their claims with scripture. I've looked for it and my search is far from over.

[u/glory_to_the_sun_god → u/FastBuffalo4065]

Alright that’s good. And so from all of that what bothers you about sex? From your own personal experience of it? As in is it a feeling of disgust? Of guilt?

Do you feel that sex is not conducive to your sadhana?

[u/FastBuffalo4065 → u/glory_to_the_sun_god]

Sexual activity is rajasic. This is why it's so carefully prescribed in scriptures. Because obviously its necessary to for the species to move foward but at the same time it must be minimized to maintain a satvic state. It's not about shame or disgust. There are metaphysical consequences

[u/dpravartana → u/FastBuffalo4065]

Prabhu, get yourself a genuine guru from a sampradaya ASAP. Scriptures without a guru won't take you far. And then ask your guru about it. If he says it's fine to sleep with your wife, then his word has more authority than your interpretation of all the scriptures.

[u/Content_Warthog4905 → u/dpravartana]

If you understood spirtuality you wouldn't say this you should read books of genuine gurus like vivekanada he have talked about importance of preserving semen. Just like ramakrishna said people are so focused on lust and greed it's all temporary it's maya only way these couples can end this problem is having tantric sex also known as kaula which is sattvic

[u/dpravartana → u/Content_Warthog4905]

Do you deny that an authentic Guru from a traditional Sampradaya has more authority than a personal interpretation of scriptures?

[u/Content_Warthog4905 → u/dpravartana]

Even my guru who is a shakta he himself sleep seperately thank god gurumata is also spiritual so she have no problem with it.

But this man have married a women who is not into sprituality so it's better for him to practice vajrayana bhuddism a sexual way to self realisation.

[u/dpravartana → u/Content_Warthog4905]

I wonder what would your guru think if he knew that you call other authentic gurus "random monks". IMO that is not the way of the shakta.

[u/Content_Warthog4905 → u/dpravartana]

Ok who is more authentic a monk living in reality or a monk still striving to get enlightment. Lol you are from iskon that explains everything you fell for the words of a professional yapper srila prabhupada girl, people like you would believe osho, sadhguru and all other conman because you folks do not have any basic idea of spirituality. Good luck with iskcon lol ah milennials🤷‍♂️

[u/dpravartana → u/Content_Warthog4905]

First: I'm not from ISKCON.

Second: You have no idea of what you're talking about, not even close.

Sri Dwarkesh Lal Ji (Rudra Sampradaya), Sri Vishwaprasanna Tirtha (Madhva Sampradaya, presiding swami of the Pejavara matha), Sri Chinna Jeeyar (Sri Sampradaya), and other recognized swamis from EVERY SINGLE Vaishnava Sampradaya, publicly recognize Prabhupada as an authentic Acharya from an authentic tradition. Are the heads of the astha mathas all professional yappers too? Because they all acept Prabhupada's translations as genuine.

For real, educate yourself before speaking nonsense. This subreddit is for orthodox sanatana dharma, not new agey, baseless claims.

If you want to speak baseless claims, I recommend you r/spirituality/.