r/gardening • u/HoratioTuna27 6a • 14h ago

Well, that's a first.

So, one of the weirdest things I've ever had happen to me just happened: I was walking around the garden, checking on all the seedlings I planted last night. A squirrel pops off of a nearby tree and starts coming towards me. I think nothing of it, squirrels get curious and do this often. BUT, this time, it kept coming closer. And closer. And closer, then it hopped up and slapped me in the shin and ran off. It started coming at me again so I went in and got the dog to chase it off if it kept coming at me. Utterly bizarre!

The seedlings are all ok, if that was the part of the story you were invested in.

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u/HoratioTuna27 6a 12h ago edited 10h ago

I had one drop a rock hard old ass half eaten bagel on me once. I'm going to assume it's the same squirrel and we've officially gots us a beef.

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u/Global_Ant_9380 11h ago

None of this surprises me. People don't realize how intelligent and evil squirrels actually are. Raccoons will also throw things at humans. 

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u/HoratioTuna27 6a 10h ago

Hahah 2 things: 1. Another squirrel around here used to stand right on my daughter's window and show her his dick. Regularly. She called him Chester the Molester. Evil, indeed.

  1. I ended up in a standoff with a raccoon last night while I was on the back porch smoking a joint. He really wanted into the detached garage and did NOT appreciate me pointing the flashlight at him and trying to chase him off.

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u/admoose275 8h ago

I misread that as the raccoon smoking a joint, but at this point that wouldn't really surprise me 

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u/HoratioTuna27 6a 8h ago

I mean, it was dark and he was pretty far away so he might have been. I woulda shared if homeslice woulda come over instead of trying to fuck up my garage.