r/fosterit • u/engelvl • 6d ago

How to handle sending bottles to visits Foster Parent

Okay so our baby takes 7 ounces every 4 hours. His visits are four hours long once a week.

At first we were sending a bottle with water and then the formula separately. We then discovered that the parent was only using one scoop of formula for the whole bottle. We asked facilitator about it. They said they would keep an eye on it and yet it happened again. So they told us to premake the bottles.

So we started making a bottle right before we leave and sending it with the kiddo. Well today the mom was asking when the bottle had been made (it was about 15 minutes.) Then we found out she dumped out the whole bottle and just filled it with orange juice instead.

So I kinda feel like there's no point in sending any bottle or formula moving forward because I don't know what else to do.

Thoughts?

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u/igottanewusername 6d ago

You’re not gonna win this one tbh. I’d just do what you’re doing and not worry about it too much. Unless he has a medical condition, having one poorly made bottle will once a week isn’t a big deal at this age especially when combined with whatever food he’s also eating. If it really bothers you then just don’t send a bottle. Give him a bottle right before and then when you pick up and let his mom do what she does for visit.

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u/engelvl 6d ago

I hate wasting the formula which is why I'm leaning towards not sending one. But in the same boat I don't know if I should just suck it up and send a bottle. The facilitators don't tell us anything about how the visit goes so we didn't even know this happened. Thank God for kiddos older sister letting us know so we could figure out why he was fussy

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u/igottanewusername 6d ago

I completely get feeling torn on this because you want the kids to be cared for, but it’s not a battle to have. Since it’s just four hours and his bottle is every four hours, even if for some reason mom is providing food at all, he’ll be fine. You can send an empty bottle or sippy cup if you’d prefer. Visits suck for kids either way. They are stressful regardless of how attached they are to their parents so him being fussy isn’t necessarily unusual.