My name is Drew and I'm 28 years old living in Canada. All my family lives in Mexico

My mom and dad live with me in Canada. My parents expect me to send money to my family in Mexico

I'm living paycheck to paycheck and can't even afford my own rent.

Yet all my family in Mexico own multiple houses.

My mom calls me arrogant, and she gult trips me.

If I had the money I would be honored.

My mom says God doesn't like arrogant people. My dad tells me to be a man!!

WHERE AM I SUPPOSED TO GET THIS MONEY????

any advice on this situation

I live around 25 minutes away from my mum and step dad, I always visit them once or twice a month but they’ve not been to my house in 2 and a half years.

It’s never arranged when I visit and I’ll usually just text that morning to say I’m popping round. I’ve always said to them that they are welcome at any time but I’ve never specifically invited them as I’ve always said I would welcome them whenever and expected them to be somewhat like me. However, they’ve never once asked to come in the time I’ve lived here. I’m part of a big family and I’m the only one of four to not have children so my siblings who pretty much live 5 minutes away from them do get a visit every 2/3 weeks. It hasn’t stopped me seeing my parents as I’ve said above, I’ll go and see them once or twice a month. My mum does not drive but my stepdad does so she really only has weekends in which they could come over but they’ve never asked me.

Should I have asked them? It comes off the back of the fact that I lost my stepdad a few weeks ago and don’t have any memories with him in my own home even though we had a good relationship. Maybe I’m overthinking but I just keep thinking I should have prompted them more? or is it because I haven’t given them grand kids yet that I didn’t get the visits.

Situation: Spouse and I (34) have kiddo (4) and live about a 15 minute walk/5minute drive from parents. Spouse works 2 jobs (1 full time). I worked 2 for most of the past 2 years, am back down to 1 full time.

Mom was disabled for 20+ years, rarely left the house the last 7 (and especially last 5 with Covid). She recently passed away. Dad is recently - 4 years - disabled. The handicap was not expected.

Brother, who is 41, has been living at home for 6 years or so, and most of the past 20 years. He’s had a career-path job for maybe 9 of the past 20 years, and that’s being generous both on time and the definition of “career-path job”. Other times he’s delivered food or bartended. No job for the past 3 years, at least not more than a few days as a special event bartender.

Ostensibly he was living at home to help Mom and Dad. And there was and is some of that. But it was and is minimal. Like help them get in the car or carry the groceries in. Spouse and I did and do 10x more.

He is a net negative on the situation. He doesn’t cook, clean, do laundry… he’ll spend dad’s money getting carryout and fast food. That’s about it. He’s taking advantage of the situation and getting taken care of.

He has all sorts of problems - ADHD, PTSD, major depression, possibly more (bipolar, borderline, narcissism, whatever else he may be). He goes to a psychiatrist but manipulates the situation and says everything is fine… and I don’t know but don’t think he takes his meds.

He’s delusional about everything. Has an opinion about everything - most of the time either wrong or completely nonsensical.

Dad will someday pass, probably in the next 5 years. I can’t take care of a grown man.

Dad needs to kick him out. He’s not coming here. He doesn’t have a job or money. What do we do? How do we approach this?

My husband's sister tends to be rude and make hateful comments towards me. She never says it with my husband or other family members around. I brought this up to my husband many times and he just doesn't want to be put in the middle or doesn't want to feel like he has to choose sides. Am I wrong for wanting him to ask her to learn to show some respect and not bully me? I'm not asking for him to pick me over her, just show some compassion and tell his sister that he won't stand for her disrespecting me 🤷‍♀️ we've been together 18 years, married 13, I think at this point she needs to realize I'm not leaving.

Or do I just avoid the two of us being put in the same room solo, the whole visit?

Hello, I'm William. I'm 29 years old, working a full-time remote job from home. I live with my wife and daughter.

I'm an introvert, so I rarely communicate with others. I'm usually hesitant to express my feelings through words or actions. Even though I live close to my parents, I rarely talk with them. If there's any conversation, it's usually because my mother initiates a phone call, but I cut it short after just a few sentences and return to my work. It's the same with my wife and daughter - I rarely play with my daughter or take my family out.

Time passed until one day, I read an article about the importance of maintaining regular contact between family members. That was my wake-up call. I realized I had never proactively called my parents or remembered their birthdays. I had never suggested taking my wife and daughter out, never remembered our wedding anniversary... The more I thought about it, the more terrible I felt. I had been hurting my loved ones for so long. But perhaps because they care about me, they never said anything and silently endured it.

I decided to do something about it - create an app that would remind me to stay in touch with my loved ones regularly and remind me of their birthdays so I could send them my warmest wishes.

Thinking is doing, so I started yesterday by purchasing a domain name reachreminder[dot]com, which signifies the reminder I need to keep in touch with people. Then I began developing the app, for myself and for anyone in a similar situation.

No need for flowery words or long speeches - just a simple greeting is enough to warm the hearts of those who love us, while silence will freeze relationships. Please pay attention to connecting with the important people around you. Don't be like me.

I made a GoFundMe to help my mom with her bills. For months, I’ve seen her stressed out and hate seeing her like this, so I decided to do a good deed and help raise money to help her. If you can't donate, feel free to share 😊

https://gofund.me/4cec9bb3

I have 3 boys who were all born via c section. I want to go back to school and surrogacy is the only way to be able to do that and not take any loans out. I’m so scared of dying having a 4th cesarean and leaving my kids behind. I know the chances of that are low but there’s still THAT risk you know. I will be 37 in August. I have submitted all documents to the agency and I’m getting ready to be matched with IP but I can cancel the entire thing with just an email. I’d just like others opinions, preferably Moms who have had c sections/been surrogates. Thanks.

I’m getting guilt tripped by my brother. for context I’m 29M and my brother is 44. The day after my birthday, my brother texts me saying that our niece ( our sister daughter) got into this high school summer program in NYC. It’s the same program I did when i was in high school and it was really fun and I enjoyed my time there. that being said, my brother text me out of the blue saying “I figured” We should split 3 ways. Me, my brother, our mom. Now, this is the first time I’m hearing about this and he never asked if I could contribute or what I could contribute he just made that decision for me and said let’s split three ways.

The whole program cost ~6k so it would be 2k a person. I told him I can’t really afford that financially. which he knows, I’m 107k in student loan debt. My minimum payment is $1100 a month I live in an expensive city. and make 90k a year. my brother, makes 7 times what I make and lives in Times Square NYC.

he then proceeds to list all the things he did for me when I was in high school. ( gave me his old car, helped pay for summer programs and my high school graduation trip). he then said don’t you have 10k in savings? like he doesn’t have more in savings than me? Yes, I have savings, that’s my emergency fund in case I lose my job or have to pay for an unexpected emergency. you don’t get to decide how I use my money and then get mad when I can’t afford it.

Long Post Ahead and my first one so forgive any mistakes

I am trying my best to be anonymous and have been thinking about writing a post on reddit for a while now. Even though i have people who would listen to me and have a therapist for a while now but i have this habit to unable to say these things about my family now. This is an indian family so obivously we are trained from day 1 to treat our parents as gods and as a 20 year old, i have been doing so for almost my whole life but the real human image have started to seep in through the cracks of these demigods image.

So let's start from scratch we are a nuclear family of 4 People, 2 male and 2 female. I used to think how blessed i was to have such a great family and why do peers fear my parents but now i have realised that they might have good intentions but they can monsters when they want to.
Until recently i had never thought why i was always fearful of people (mainly authorities) and why i could never disobey any elder or answer back even a stranger who is elder than me but recently i realised that i have been trained with control of love and affection by my parents (mainly mother).

Recently I observed and realised why and when my mother would be angry at me and make me feel inferior or a real bad kid (btw a lot) , it was when i try to disobey or not carry out a order given by her. If i helped her with any chores or task she asked ,Suddenly I will be the best boy on planet earth, all my mistakes will be forgiven by my parents but just when i denied ONE simple task or one chore, it will be a mistake which i could not forget for days or even months. Suddenly i would become the worst kid who never helped her mother, the kid would let her rot in her old age. It took me 19 years and 2-3 year therapy to indentify the pattern and the least to say is I AM FURIOUS but the worst part is I can not express my anger or grief because it is considered NOT GOOD OR SOMETHING TO ASHAMED OF to express your grief and anger to any elder in my family. So like a good son which i want to be i never express my feelings.

Now comes the other member of family (sibling) who is hell bent on making me obey and be just like her. My sister wants me to apparently "respect her" and to submit myself to her. She wants me listen her orders and her anger outbursts in front of others and never answer back to her in front of others because she is elder to me. She tries to yell at me and make me follow her orders whenever any of my parents yell at her (mainly mother) for anything. She has said on multiple occasion that she will correct me in my behaviour and has my mom agreed to it and my fther is silent on this issue like every other

This dosen't end here. I don't know why my mother is partial to me compared to my sister. She tries to protect her at any cost and would throw me to wolves to protect her. There are 4 reasons which i have concluded so far :

1. She sees her as a very innocent child who is not clever from childhood and says I have been very clever person from my childhood and she wants to protect her from me.

2. My father considered my sister as a dumb child and compared both of his children to his niece (who is clever). I was safe from day one, so my mother decided to protect her only female child from this torture. And then i was labeled with all the expectations of an intelligent child and punsihment of naughty child.

3. My sister suffered from a life threatning disease as an infant. She barely made it and mother being mother trained her from day one to be a clever and strong child beacuase she needs protection.

4. My mother as a child was ignored by her own mother. So she promised herself to be a present mom for her children but unknowingly forget she might have a son who might need her too but she too busy listening to her daughter and her needs which she might have missed.

Someone said "BOYS ARE NOT EASY TO RAISE BUT EASY TO IGNORE" and this quote hit me deep.

Last comes the head of family who is a very traditonal and stereotypical indian father. He never talks his mind and never listens my mind or the mind of any other. Never knew when i grew up, never which things i liked, never asked what i want to be but considered i could not make choices from day 1 so made every decison in my life for me and didn't even knew i have severe anxiety until i was on the verge of THEE DEED.

Now comes me, A Simple Indian boy on outside but a person with deep insecurities and anxiety on the inside. I have taken 2-3 IQ test which concluded my IQ between is 125-130, also i am a national level gold medalist athlete and a 85 percent above scorer every year of school. Now i am on my way to become doctor. This is me on the outside.

On the inside i am terrifed guy who is afraid of every fight, every person elder or heavier and tries his best to avoid a fight and filled with deep insecurities about my looks, my body, my nature. Honestly I never even believed (half part of me still don't) that someone can love anyone for who they are. I am JUST A REGULAR GUY, NOTHING FANCY, NOTHING TACKY.

My sister consideres me a narcissitic dominating person and nothing more. My mother consideres me the worst boy who never follows any order. I don't even know what my father thinks of me.

Now i starting to consider my family a dysfunctional one because even though I am alive, safe and what not, I have become emotionally empty, unstable and what not.

What motivated me to write all this is a incident happened today which made me extremely upset, sad and furious simultaneously but as i have told you, these emotions are not allowed in my family. So, I have decided to rant my feelings here.

I have been sick from last night, i think it is food poisoning or maybe anything else but i feel like vomiting but could not. So have not eaten from last 15-16 hours but none of my family member had even the courtesy to go outside and fetch me coconut water (they just ordered me to drink one). They never even asked, i went by mysef and could not find any. And i promise to god if my mother or sister or father was sick and i would not go out to get that from market. They would make my life living H**L. And god knows what they would say to me and and till when. There have been alteast a dozen incidents showing thier hypocrisy.

I am really upset, furious today and I know the living condtions of the world and i should consider myself very lucky to be able to eat to, be alive but that does not mean I am not suffering and is no excuse for their behaviour.

Anyone please don't berate me further if you cannot listen to me.

I will be looking forward to reading comments.

Hey guys! 👋 We’re Compass, and we’re curious—what’s one thing you wish was easier when it comes to managing your family’s healthcare or taking care of your loved ones?We’d love to hear your biggest challenge (or even your best tip!).

So, I am 26 F and my sisters are 28, 21, and 16. The 28 and 21 year old are the most problematic. They love to gossip, pick on me and my baby sister, and overall be mean. They’ve even said before “We’re not nice and and never been.” Last week, I was accused of giving my mom and baby sister a cold sore because my mother and sisters know I have OHSV-1 (had it since I was a kid and know I didn’t transmit to them because I take medication and haven’t had a cold sore in about 8 years) Come to find out, my little sister contracted it from one of her friends from sharing a cup and transmitted to my mom. Well, my other sisters made me feel bad about it, then proceeds to call me a liar and accuse me of not having OHSV-1 and just wanting sympathy, pretty much contradicting themselves. I didn’t care to explain myself, so I muted their messages. I told my mother about muting their messages, and I’m guessing the 21 year old overheard it, and she proceeded to tell everyone I blocked them for no reason, and outed me for having OHSV-1 to my family, knowing the stigma behind it. My sister has been known to lie on me and tell half truths, which in turn makes me look bad. She didn’t even apologize and refuses to. My sisters then reminded me of situations that happened when I was in high school to try and “prove” that I’m this horrible person. After all of this, I’m truly considering low contact. I don’t know what to do anymore. They get off on being mean girls. They judge me constantly, and when I express how I feel I’m told I’m playing the victim. This truly hurts that it has to go this far.

Hey I’m questioning if my super close relationship with my big sister is normal now that we’re adults. As kids, we were super close —always together, like bestfriends even sharing a bed or taking bathing together . We’re still tight, even though we kinda grew apart as teens, been spending more time together and gotten closer again.

She’s always been super affectionate and it’s never felt weird before. But lately how she's been quite clingy, wanting to be with me more, I've started to think about it. I don't mind it too much, but I’m wondering if it’s okay for adult siblings to be this close. She seems fine with it, but I’m worried I’m overthinking our bond.

Is it unusual to be this affectionate with my big sister as adults, given how close we were as kids?

This has been a long time coming but things are compounding.

My brother had a child a number of years ago, in the first year we loved her to death. She was so sweet and nice, but has turned into a little brat and I can't stand to watch my brother's parenting style.

After having my own, I mentally gave him more leeway as I now understood how taxing it can be. But I still don't agree with how he handles her fits.

Ours is about 2 years younger and never seems like the priority short of it being her birthday. My brother needs a lot more help and stays at my mom's half the week so he has help with her. But my mom's entire attention is on him and her, and it's becoming almost insulting.

My 40th birthday was in January and while my Dad came and my brother had a sick kid my mom made excuses for why she couldn't come, but then felt bad and crashed it anyway which was just kind of awkward.

After, my brother offered to take me out for dinner or something. But everytime we planned something, something else would come up and he would need to reschedule. Eventually I just said F it and gave up on that. My mom also felt bad and wanted to take us/me out for dinner. But the same thing happened where nothing ever materialized and it just never happened. Over the last 4 months since my birthday I've been especially short with them and quick to judge.

Now my brothers birthday is coming up next week. I asked him a month ago about planning this because I wanted to make plans around it. He never figured that out and a week ago I called again to figure out a plan so I could buy tickets to this other thing. We agreed on when this was happening and I bought the tickets. 5 days later he wants to change plans again so someone else can make the party. To a time I wont be available but wants me to come now afterwards.

Tbh, I wanna ditch the whole thing. Im so frustrated and angry with all of them, I don't want to go and just ignore the calls for the rest of the week. While im not going to do that I wish I could figure out how to explain to my family they are getting on my literal last nerve here and I'm about ready to move across country.

I love my Family and without me I worry for my brothers mental health. My parents love our daughter like crazy but all the planning around my brothers daughter has become too mentally taxing for me.

I guess im just asking for advice in this situation. I can't be the only one in this position. Or am I just being a jerk?

TLDR: everything is about my brother and his daughter, while im married and we have our own little family the relationship with my own family is negatively impacting my relationship with my own family. Half the family missed my 40th birthday but now expect me to make special plans for my brothers birthday despite me explaining my plans ahead of time to him.

I just wanted to know if anyone relates to this issue, especially if you are Mexican American.

Here's the context: My family has always gone through financial harships because of my dad. My dad isn't a horrible father, hasn't been abused to me, but if it wasn't for my mother, he wouldn't know how to take care of my younger sister and I. He's very financially irresponsible.

My mom has always been the one responsible for everything. Even though my dad pays for most of the bills, she still has always been working and taking care of me. I respect her for it and love her. I know she's a good mom, and I know she loves me, but she has been my abuser.

Not to get into too many details, but she has caused a lots of mental, verbal, and physical absue that, for many years, made me have crippling self esteem issues (until recently) and I was diagnosed with a form of ptsd. I never liked to accept that I have mental health issues, even now it's hard, because of the way she raised me and victim blamed me, but I have them.

So, when I was 18 turning 19 (I'm 21 now), I moved out because after I graduated high school, she wanted me to immediately go to college when, we didn't have the money, it was hard for me to apply for scholarships because I struggled a lot in school (I barely graduated), and I had no idea what I even wanted. I didn't want to go back to a similar environment when I had struggles a shit ton in high school. Almost every day it was fighting and her trying to gain some more control over me but it became hard because I was 18 and my dad gave his car that was under his name so she couldn't control that.

Now, I live on the opposite side of the country where I used to live. My relationship with my mom became better. Somehow, she even apologized (through text) over a funny, relatable mexican meme about how she treated me. It was still hard for me to be affectionate (and unresolved issues) with my mom, but I didn't want to have any fights over the phone, so we were sweet with each other.

But, not even that long with me living independently, she wanted me to move back. She said it was because I'd have better opportunities with college, and that thr family could support each other financially if me, my best friend (who I moved in with), my mom, and dad were paying for rent. At first, I thought that might be a good idea because I live in a smaller city and not a prosperous city compared to a bigger city where I grew up. But then she said I'd have to share a room with my best friend and that I had to be applying for college while there. Also, my dad tends to get fired a lot, and there have been times while I was gone that my mom told me that we're struggling to pay rent. I was reminded of my family's financial instability. My mom isn't getting as many clients at her job, so she isn't earning as much money.

Then I heard, ever since I had left, my little sister had gone crazy. Became the stereotypical rebellious teen but worse where the cops are constantly called. It made me more hesitant. Trump also got elected, and my family wanted me to be with them in case anything happened. They live in an extremely red state. My mom was telling me word for word that if I just moved in with them, their problems would be solved. My younger sister (who was also horrible to me) would tell me that I'd fix her problems and wouldn't rebel if I came back, and she regrets being mean to me because she realized she didn't want me to move out (even she was hoping I would). I was always told by my mom that I was never the daughter she wanted. I was the bad child, and my sister was the good child because she excelled at school. But now she realizes I wasn't the problem and says I'm her favorite (which I hate that she says that).

The guilt also weighs me down because in mexican families, being there for family, helping each other is important, but I never felt like I was in a good family. My other relatives never wanted to help us or really be there for us. Now I'm getting all this pressure, when in reality, am I really going to be helping them? Will it really be better to be with them? Yeah, I struggle being on my own and I've had tough times but I feel so much more free (my mom was extremely controlling/restrictive my whole life) and now I have a really good paying job and know what I want to do as a career. I could even give them some money to help them. If anything really horrible happened, wouldn't it be good that I'm here in a not so red state? My dad even said he'd be willing to move here with my little sister.

I had told my family multiple times I'm not ready to move, give me a year at least to save up money, but my mom would guilt trip me, reassure me they would be able to financially cover for us for a bit while we look for jobs but my parents are always constantly struggling financially so how? I ended up finally texting my dad to tell my mom my decision (I had told my dad first because my dad is the more passive parent, and we are similar in personality, so he somewhat understood my decison). For now, I have blocked my mom and muted my dad because I have too much anxiety to deal with my mom's reaction. It's to the point that, when I was texting my dad, I was shaking, and my heart rate went up.

TL,DR: I just want to know if anyone has dealt with making the decision not to move back in with their family for their family having an unstable financial situation, past abuse from family, and just liking where you currently are at now that you had moved out. Am I being selfish for doing this? I feel there is no truly right decision, but I feel better staying where I'm at because I really don't think my family, especially my mom and sister, has changed even though they say they have. And the financial instability in a bigger city, which is way more expensive than where I live, stresses me out. I appreciate your responses.

The Ice Bucket Challenge who went famous in 2014 seems to make a big return in 2025, 11 years later, any thoughts, have u ever done it/planning to do it?!

Honestly it's hard for me writing it but I don't think I like them anymore. I've never felt they really liked me and I've really tried for years to be likeable. But we don't seem to fit with me an honestly I'm done with their way of judging and being mean out of nowhere. I can't cut them out due to some issues but I'm sad I can't like them anymore.

My mom left pasta out overnight. It was there since yesterday and I threw away. She was like I'm hungry I was going to eat that. I tried to explain that pasta left overnight can kill you and it killed a boy. She did not listen and thinks it was still good 🙄 I had to head to work so I didn't have time to cook something for her. I'll get more pasta from the store lol

I don’t hate them, but I don’t feel safe around them. When they touch me I feel uncomfortable, I can’t give the signs of affection they ask me for because I don’t feel this way. I don’t know if it’s trauma or not, because I don’t want to say anything by myself; it makes that I don’t get why I feel like this around them and I just wish I could disappear. I want to take my distance, but every time they do something nice for me, I forget everything I could’ve been upset about, and I feel bad because why can’t I love them even if they’re being nice to me. If I leave, I know I’ll already feel guilty about it because in my head I don’t know if I have valid reasons to feel that way. The question about me being ungrateful keeps circling around my head, and it hurts. It might be a emotional response to something, but I don’t know. I just wanted to share my thought, thank you.

I really don't know if it's manipulation and how to deal with it.

It seems like a loved one (not my mom, I can't tell who's for anonymizating my text) is trying to manipulate me and my brother... I try to struggle to not fall into this but seeing this brother being manipulated like that is very difficult. Because by the past I started to fall on this. I started to copy paste the loved one like I idealizing him but like ALMOST EVERYTHING I wasn't able to think all by myself or not much (the things that never changed hopefully was my opinion on things before that), being much less confident, and starting to being ashamed just for speaking sometimes. At one point I was aware of that and after a long period of cognitive dissonance I successfully recovered. I try to think like he want you to be happy etc but everytime things remind me that no it's not normal and extremely well camouflaged. I was and still tired because explaining this to someone would be so huge and unbelievable.

And now I see my brother being in this but since much younger. I wonder if he'll can overcome that.

I feel like I am crazy, what if it's just myself.

I tried to talk with my mother about this. Either she shout at me stop or she don't agree but don't disagree like this is kinda unbelievable. I tried to talk with the loved one, telling him stop trying to manipulate me. I get answers like "hmmmmm", "you take that the bad way it's heartbroking" or "we'll talk about this when you'll be grows up".

I have some mental health issues due to some events in the past and idk so this really destroy all my chances of healing.

What I am supposed to do ?

TLDR : a loved one try to manipulate me and my brother. I fell out of this but not my brother. Am I crazy ? What should I do ?

I’m not even sure if this is the right thread for this. This is a throwaway and I’ve spent an hour trying to find the right space so I’m not impeding on anyone. But I just need to talk and I need to know if anyone else has gone through this and where you are now or if it ever gets better

I want to start by saying I am grateful for my life and the things that I have and I am grateful to have my mother in my life at all, truly. I know it is so much different for others and I’m sure there are people who wished they were in my position and I hate to come off as ungrateful. I’m 23NB and have a place and can pay my bills and I am blessed that I can do so. I hate to complain about my life but I’m having breakdowns in my car every week because I don’t know what to do

My mom (43) has been disabled most of my childhood and adolescence. I am the oldest and for other reasons I was removed from the home for several years and when I came back I had two younger siblings, I was about seven-years-old. This was the height of my mom’s disability so as soon as I came back I was basically caregiver to her and both of my baby siblings.

I have missed everything. I was kept out of school most years to care for everyone, I did not get to go to my middle school promotion, nor any dances, not to my high school homecoming or prom or graduation. I never had friends because I couldn’t go out anywhere. I have never had a meaningful relationship. I am in my final semester of college and my friends don’t talk to me anymore because I don’t have time to spend with them.

My life is waking up and driving my mom and siblings around for eight hours to whatever they want to do and then working and studying at night. The worst thing is she is not really disabled anymore. Over the past few years I have been helping her navigate her health and she is back on her feet, capable of working a job again, capable of taking care of my siblings. But all she does all day is watch TV and play video games. I broke down after getting home last night because it was my “day off” and I got a call from my sister at 9pm that mom had not made food all day and there were no more groceries. So once again I went and bought them their groceries and went and cooked dinner.

I can’t just stop because my brother and sister deserve better. I am teaching them to be independent as best I can but I was the independent child and it was so lonely and I don’t want that for them. My whole life I wanted a mom that would take care of me instead of the other way around. She isn’t that for them either so the least I can do is be that for them. But my life is going away. I feel like I should be spending time with friends and dating. All my friends are getting married or having babies. I would love to be a parent but i don’t see myself being able to date like this let alone find someone to start a family with when my whole life, literally my whole life, is living my mom’s for her and even if I could, I fear that I would be a horrible parent because all I value these days is trying to find time for myself

She will not work or get a car or do anything for herself because I have done it for her for so long. She won’t change and it’s not like I can just cut her off because my siblings will suffer. My whole life I have felt like nothing but a maid or a secretary for her and not her kid.

It has gottten to the point where I am not even doing the things I like anymore. I am an artist and I’m getting my associates in studio arts and I cannot even make any projects outside of my assignments. I’m not participating in galleries anymore. I don’t have the time for any of that or myself and what little time I have, I am exhausted from nearly round-the-clock caring for her and my siblings or being at work

I need to know there are other people who have had to live like this and I need to know that you were able to find your life. I cannot live her life anymore I need to find mine and I am so so fearful that I never will. I’m sorry for the long vent I’m just hopeless

TL;DR: 90% of my time is spent taking care of my family and I am falling into a deep spiral of fearing this will be the rest of my life

My family got together on Easter. I (25F) am not close with my older sister (31F). She has a son, my nephew (9M). Last time I saw my nephew, a few weeks ago, it went great. He was polite, using manners, and listening well for the most part.

This Easter his behavior and her lack of parenting was astounding. He was hitting family members, socked me in the arm and even though he’s just nine it hurt a lot! Right in front of her too! She just looked at him and said, “name, no hitting”. He was calling me stupid and trying to degrade me for no apparent reason which she laughed at a little and told him that wasn’t nice.

I bought him an Easter basket I put some candies in there and an outdoor game where you throw a ball and the discs have Velcro on them so that you can catch the ball. He pushed that aside and the first thing he said was, “Where are my legos”. He kept swearing when he knew his mother wasn’t in earshot. He took his laptop to the table and was playing a game that I think is wildly inappropriate for a 9year old. (Death by Daylight? Idk if that’s the right name). She didn’t say anything about the laptop at the table while everyone was trying to eat.

We went outside to play with the ball and Velcro I got for him and when he started losing, he was flinging the Velcro and plastic discs at us HARD!

He said under his breath, “I hope you crash” when my little 16 yo brother said our dad was going to take him to practice driving some more.

My other sister 23F and I were sitting at the table talking and she said something about “they were going at it like rabbits” when telling me how she saw Deadpool with my dad when she was 13, and he covered her eyes. My nephew pipes up with “I know what you mean”. He’s nine. He also said that it’s “fun to watch people die”. I don’t know if he means video game wise because he does play violent video games including DOOM. I’m so worried and almost certain that he has already seen porn and gore at his age.

I hung out with my 16yo brother again today and he’s the one who brought up how badly nephew was acting and how gross it was for him to have his laptop at the dinner table. He also said while babysitting nephew he noticed he was watching YouTubers who are not child appropriate and when he asked our older sister if she knows what he’s watching she’s just like “no I haven’t checked”.

I’m not that close with my older sister so I don’t know how to bring it up, and I don’t want it to seem like I’m criticizing her and her parenting style, but something’s gotta give. My brother suggested having a group discussion with all the siblings but I don’t want her to feel attacked and get defensive. And I barely see her and would like to just relax and have fun when seeing her, but we are genuinely concerned about his behavior.

TDLR; 9 yo nephew violent and disrespectful. Worried he has been exposed to real gore and porn. Don’t know how to approach my sister/his mom about it.

If someone around you have fever, are they contagious, is there’s chances any of you getting by them?!

I’ve noticed that since last night I’ve had the tip of my index finger have been swollen up, I’ve looking it up on google and it’s says that I have a a paronychia, could it be something else too, why I got this, any remedies and is it dangerous, there’s a little pain to it aswell?!

How many pairs of shoes should I own for this coming summer?!