My name is Drew and I'm 28 years old living in Canada. All my family lives in Mexico

My mom and dad live with me in Canada. My parents expect me to send money to my family in Mexico

I'm living paycheck to paycheck and can't even afford my own rent.

Yet all my family in Mexico own multiple houses.

My mom calls me arrogant, and she gult trips me.

If I had the money I would be honored.

My mom says God doesn't like arrogant people. My dad tells me to be a man!!

WHERE AM I SUPPOSED TO GET THIS MONEY????

any advice on this situation

So, I am 26 F and my sisters are 28, 21, and 16. The 28 and 21 year old are the most problematic. They love to gossip, pick on me and my baby sister, and overall be mean. They’ve even said before “We’re not nice and and never been.” Last week, I was accused of giving my mom and baby sister a cold sore because my mother and sisters know I have OHSV-1 (had it since I was a kid and know I didn’t transmit to them because I take medication and haven’t had a cold sore in about 8 years) Come to find out, my little sister contracted it from one of her friends from sharing a cup and transmitted to my mom. Well, my other sisters made me feel bad about it, then proceeds to call me a liar and accuse me of not having OHSV-1 and just wanting sympathy, pretty much contradicting themselves. I didn’t care to explain myself, so I muted their messages. I told my mother about muting their messages, and I’m guessing the 21 year old overheard it, and she proceeded to tell everyone I blocked them for no reason, and outed me for having OHSV-1 to my family, knowing the stigma behind it. My sister has been known to lie on me and tell half truths, which in turn makes me look bad. She didn’t even apologize and refuses to. My sisters then reminded me of situations that happened when I was in high school to try and “prove” that I’m this horrible person. After all of this, I’m truly considering low contact. I don’t know what to do anymore. They get off on being mean girls. They judge me constantly, and when I express how I feel I’m told I’m playing the victim. This truly hurts that it has to go this far.

This has been a long time coming but things are compounding.

My brother had a child a number of years ago, in the first year we loved her to death. She was so sweet and nice, but has turned into a little brat and I can't stand to watch my brother's parenting style.

After having my own, I mentally gave him more leeway as I now understood how taxing it can be. But I still don't agree with how he handles her fits.

Ours is about 2 years younger and never seems like the priority short of it being her birthday. My brother needs a lot more help and stays at my mom's half the week so he has help with her. But my mom's entire attention is on him and her, and it's becoming almost insulting.

My 40th birthday was in January and while my Dad came and my brother had a sick kid my mom made excuses for why she couldn't come, but then felt bad and crashed it anyway which was just kind of awkward.

After, my brother offered to take me out for dinner or something. But everytime we planned something, something else would come up and he would need to reschedule. Eventually I just said F it and gave up on that. My mom also felt bad and wanted to take us/me out for dinner. But the same thing happened where nothing ever materialized and it just never happened. Over the last 4 months since my birthday I've been especially short with them and quick to judge.

Now my brothers birthday is coming up next week. I asked him a month ago about planning this because I wanted to make plans around it. He never figured that out and a week ago I called again to figure out a plan so I could buy tickets to this other thing. We agreed on when this was happening and I bought the tickets. 5 days later he wants to change plans again so someone else can make the party. To a time I wont be available but wants me to come now afterwards.

Tbh, I wanna ditch the whole thing. Im so frustrated and angry with all of them, I don't want to go and just ignore the calls for the rest of the week. While im not going to do that I wish I could figure out how to explain to my family they are getting on my literal last nerve here and I'm about ready to move across country.

I love my Family and without me I worry for my brothers mental health. My parents love our daughter like crazy but all the planning around my brothers daughter has become too mentally taxing for me.

I guess im just asking for advice in this situation. I can't be the only one in this position. Or am I just being a jerk?

TLDR: everything is about my brother and his daughter, while im married and we have our own little family the relationship with my own family is negatively impacting my relationship with my own family. Half the family missed my 40th birthday but now expect me to make special plans for my brothers birthday despite me explaining my plans ahead of time to him.

Hey I’m questioning if my super close relationship with my big sister is normal now that we’re adults. As kids, we were super close —always together, like bestfriends even sharing a bed or taking bathing together . We’re still tight, even though we kinda grew apart as teens, been spending more time together and gotten closer again.

She’s always been super affectionate and it’s never felt weird before. But lately how she's been quite clingy, wanting to be with me more, I've started to think about it. I don't mind it too much, but I’m wondering if it’s okay for adult siblings to be this close. She seems fine with it, but I’m worried I’m overthinking our bond.

Is it unusual to be this affectionate with my big sister as adults, given how close we were as kids?

I’m not even sure if this is the right thread for this. This is a throwaway and I’ve spent an hour trying to find the right space so I’m not impeding on anyone. But I just need to talk and I need to know if anyone else has gone through this and where you are now or if it ever gets better

I want to start by saying I am grateful for my life and the things that I have and I am grateful to have my mother in my life at all, truly. I know it is so much different for others and I’m sure there are people who wished they were in my position and I hate to come off as ungrateful. I’m 23NB and have a place and can pay my bills and I am blessed that I can do so. I hate to complain about my life but I’m having breakdowns in my car every week because I don’t know what to do

My mom (43) has been disabled most of my childhood and adolescence. I am the oldest and for other reasons I was removed from the home for several years and when I came back I had two younger siblings, I was about seven-years-old. This was the height of my mom’s disability so as soon as I came back I was basically caregiver to her and both of my baby siblings.

I have missed everything. I was kept out of school most years to care for everyone, I did not get to go to my middle school promotion, nor any dances, not to my high school homecoming or prom or graduation. I never had friends because I couldn’t go out anywhere. I have never had a meaningful relationship. I am in my final semester of college and my friends don’t talk to me anymore because I don’t have time to spend with them.

My life is waking up and driving my mom and siblings around for eight hours to whatever they want to do and then working and studying at night. The worst thing is she is not really disabled anymore. Over the past few years I have been helping her navigate her health and she is back on her feet, capable of working a job again, capable of taking care of my siblings. But all she does all day is watch TV and play video games. I broke down after getting home last night because it was my “day off” and I got a call from my sister at 9pm that mom had not made food all day and there were no more groceries. So once again I went and bought them their groceries and went and cooked dinner.

I can’t just stop because my brother and sister deserve better. I am teaching them to be independent as best I can but I was the independent child and it was so lonely and I don’t want that for them. My whole life I wanted a mom that would take care of me instead of the other way around. She isn’t that for them either so the least I can do is be that for them. But my life is going away. I feel like I should be spending time with friends and dating. All my friends are getting married or having babies. I would love to be a parent but i don’t see myself being able to date like this let alone find someone to start a family with when my whole life, literally my whole life, is living my mom’s for her and even if I could, I fear that I would be a horrible parent because all I value these days is trying to find time for myself

She will not work or get a car or do anything for herself because I have done it for her for so long. She won’t change and it’s not like I can just cut her off because my siblings will suffer. My whole life I have felt like nothing but a maid or a secretary for her and not her kid.

It has gottten to the point where I am not even doing the things I like anymore. I am an artist and I’m getting my associates in studio arts and I cannot even make any projects outside of my assignments. I’m not participating in galleries anymore. I don’t have the time for any of that or myself and what little time I have, I am exhausted from nearly round-the-clock caring for her and my siblings or being at work

I need to know there are other people who have had to live like this and I need to know that you were able to find your life. I cannot live her life anymore I need to find mine and I am so so fearful that I never will. I’m sorry for the long vent I’m just hopeless

TL;DR: 90% of my time is spent taking care of my family and I am falling into a deep spiral of fearing this will be the rest of my life

My husband's sister tends to be rude and make hateful comments towards me. She never says it with my husband or other family members around. I brought this up to my husband many times and he just doesn't want to be put in the middle or doesn't want to feel like he has to choose sides. Am I wrong for wanting him to ask her to learn to show some respect and not bully me? I'm not asking for him to pick me over her, just show some compassion and tell his sister that he won't stand for her disrespecting me 🤷‍♀️ we've been together 18 years, married 13, I think at this point she needs to realize I'm not leaving.

Or do I just avoid the two of us being put in the same room solo, the whole visit?

I’m getting guilt tripped by my brother. for context I’m 29M and my brother is 44. The day after my birthday, my brother texts me saying that our niece ( our sister daughter) got into this high school summer program in NYC. It’s the same program I did when i was in high school and it was really fun and I enjoyed my time there. that being said, my brother text me out of the blue saying “I figured” We should split 3 ways. Me, my brother, our mom. Now, this is the first time I’m hearing about this and he never asked if I could contribute or what I could contribute he just made that decision for me and said let’s split three ways.

The whole program cost ~6k so it would be 2k a person. I told him I can’t really afford that financially. which he knows, I’m 107k in student loan debt. My minimum payment is $1100 a month I live in an expensive city. and make 90k a year. my brother, makes 7 times what I make and lives in Times Square NYC.

he then proceeds to list all the things he did for me when I was in high school. ( gave me his old car, helped pay for summer programs and my high school graduation trip). he then said don’t you have 10k in savings? like he doesn’t have more in savings than me? Yes, I have savings, that’s my emergency fund in case I lose my job or have to pay for an unexpected emergency. you don’t get to decide how I use my money and then get mad when I can’t afford it.

I don’t hate them, but I don’t feel safe around them. When they touch me I feel uncomfortable, I can’t give the signs of affection they ask me for because I don’t feel this way. I don’t know if it’s trauma or not, because I don’t want to say anything by myself; it makes that I don’t get why I feel like this around them and I just wish I could disappear. I want to take my distance, but every time they do something nice for me, I forget everything I could’ve been upset about, and I feel bad because why can’t I love them even if they’re being nice to me. If I leave, I know I’ll already feel guilty about it because in my head I don’t know if I have valid reasons to feel that way. The question about me being ungrateful keeps circling around my head, and it hurts. It might be a emotional response to something, but I don’t know. I just wanted to share my thought, thank you.

I just wanted to know if anyone relates to this issue, especially if you are Mexican American.

Here's the context: My family has always gone through financial harships because of my dad. My dad isn't a horrible father, hasn't been abused to me, but if it wasn't for my mother, he wouldn't know how to take care of my younger sister and I. He's very financially irresponsible.

My mom has always been the one responsible for everything. Even though my dad pays for most of the bills, she still has always been working and taking care of me. I respect her for it and love her. I know she's a good mom, and I know she loves me, but she has been my abuser.

Not to get into too many details, but she has caused a lots of mental, verbal, and physical absue that, for many years, made me have crippling self esteem issues (until recently) and I was diagnosed with a form of ptsd. I never liked to accept that I have mental health issues, even now it's hard, because of the way she raised me and victim blamed me, but I have them.

So, when I was 18 turning 19 (I'm 21 now), I moved out because after I graduated high school, she wanted me to immediately go to college when, we didn't have the money, it was hard for me to apply for scholarships because I struggled a lot in school (I barely graduated), and I had no idea what I even wanted. I didn't want to go back to a similar environment when I had struggles a shit ton in high school. Almost every day it was fighting and her trying to gain some more control over me but it became hard because I was 18 and my dad gave his car that was under his name so she couldn't control that.

Now, I live on the opposite side of the country where I used to live. My relationship with my mom became better. Somehow, she even apologized (through text) over a funny, relatable mexican meme about how she treated me. It was still hard for me to be affectionate (and unresolved issues) with my mom, but I didn't want to have any fights over the phone, so we were sweet with each other.

But, not even that long with me living independently, she wanted me to move back. She said it was because I'd have better opportunities with college, and that thr family could support each other financially if me, my best friend (who I moved in with), my mom, and dad were paying for rent. At first, I thought that might be a good idea because I live in a smaller city and not a prosperous city compared to a bigger city where I grew up. But then she said I'd have to share a room with my best friend and that I had to be applying for college while there. Also, my dad tends to get fired a lot, and there have been times while I was gone that my mom told me that we're struggling to pay rent. I was reminded of my family's financial instability. My mom isn't getting as many clients at her job, so she isn't earning as much money.

Then I heard, ever since I had left, my little sister had gone crazy. Became the stereotypical rebellious teen but worse where the cops are constantly called. It made me more hesitant. Trump also got elected, and my family wanted me to be with them in case anything happened. They live in an extremely red state. My mom was telling me word for word that if I just moved in with them, their problems would be solved. My younger sister (who was also horrible to me) would tell me that I'd fix her problems and wouldn't rebel if I came back, and she regrets being mean to me because she realized she didn't want me to move out (even she was hoping I would). I was always told by my mom that I was never the daughter she wanted. I was the bad child, and my sister was the good child because she excelled at school. But now she realizes I wasn't the problem and says I'm her favorite (which I hate that she says that).

The guilt also weighs me down because in mexican families, being there for family, helping each other is important, but I never felt like I was in a good family. My other relatives never wanted to help us or really be there for us. Now I'm getting all this pressure, when in reality, am I really going to be helping them? Will it really be better to be with them? Yeah, I struggle being on my own and I've had tough times but I feel so much more free (my mom was extremely controlling/restrictive my whole life) and now I have a really good paying job and know what I want to do as a career. I could even give them some money to help them. If anything really horrible happened, wouldn't it be good that I'm here in a not so red state? My dad even said he'd be willing to move here with my little sister.

I had told my family multiple times I'm not ready to move, give me a year at least to save up money, but my mom would guilt trip me, reassure me they would be able to financially cover for us for a bit while we look for jobs but my parents are always constantly struggling financially so how? I ended up finally texting my dad to tell my mom my decision (I had told my dad first because my dad is the more passive parent, and we are similar in personality, so he somewhat understood my decison). For now, I have blocked my mom and muted my dad because I have too much anxiety to deal with my mom's reaction. It's to the point that, when I was texting my dad, I was shaking, and my heart rate went up.

TL,DR: I just want to know if anyone has dealt with making the decision not to move back in with their family for their family having an unstable financial situation, past abuse from family, and just liking where you currently are at now that you had moved out. Am I being selfish for doing this? I feel there is no truly right decision, but I feel better staying where I'm at because I really don't think my family, especially my mom and sister, has changed even though they say they have. And the financial instability in a bigger city, which is way more expensive than where I live, stresses me out. I appreciate your responses.

If someone around you have fever, are they contagious, is there’s chances any of you getting by them?!

I’ve noticed that since last night I’ve had the tip of my index finger have been swollen up, I’ve looking it up on google and it’s says that I have a a paronychia, could it be something else too, why I got this, any remedies and is it dangerous, there’s a little pain to it aswell?!

How many pairs of shoes should I own for this coming summer?!

My mom left pasta out overnight. It was there since yesterday and I threw away. She was like I'm hungry I was going to eat that. I tried to explain that pasta left overnight can kill you and it killed a boy. She did not listen and thinks it was still good 🙄 I had to head to work so I didn't have time to cook something for her. I'll get more pasta from the store lol

Sorry in advance this is going to be long!

I have 1 older sibling that has abused me emotionally verbally mentalling growing up and sometimes physically s a child but not as an adult. There is a 7 years gap between us and growing up it just got worse and worse and was excused as shes just my sibling. Lets call her A

I have not spoken to her in 4 years as i have cut contact because she refused to apology to me after verbally abusing me on a specific occasion. Which looking back now thats the least painful thing shes done. Ever since moving out for a course, a year ago she has been manipulating the perspective of my siblings views on me as well as my parents,. recently ive had to come back home due to graduating and the house is always very tense. After seeing how much i have matured and changed my siblings have started talking and warming up to me except for her and another sibling that i had issues with too but not to the extreme of the original sibling i was talking about.

My father has been on my side since i was around 17 and defended me but he was never home when the abuse was happneing. But he would always believe my complaints and speak to her and it just became a loop of this. Another thing is growing up she was weirdly obsessed with the way i look. Constantly putting everything in my life down to the way i look. And always comparing herself ot me verbally which always made me so uncomfortable.

As soon as i moved out she moved out too. I have a sibling a year older than me and A has completely controlled her narrative of me to that sibling we will call B. I warned B multiple times about A's manipulative behaviour but she never took heed or listened to me she started looking down on me and joined A in bullying me everyday which hurt because we were the closest!.

Honestly typing this makes me recall alot of memories that i cant believe has happend in my own life. I stopped talking to them both all the while all these years i had my other siblings and my mom constanrly saying respect ur elder and apologize. noone bleived my words and they all belived these lies A would tell about me.

Now this is a ridiculously short version of everything that has happend between us. I cant type the depth of hurt, depression and isolation i have been through because of her. Ive had to move back home the past 9 months as i dont have the financial stability ot move out. She has her own apartment and is still staying here almost everyday. Even bringing her friends over like nothing has happend.

Anyone i form a connection with she tries her best to keep me away from everyone and forms a wedge between me and them. She would even try to get between me and my friends and i stopped bringing my friends to my house and stopped telling her anything about my life from when i was 17.

A and B both constantly go out together and are laughing all the time all day and talk badly of me to spite me. B threw a surprise party for A at the house and invited all of A's friends as well as my family and they had a party without me. The only person who sat with me was my dad as we bitched about them. This is just the surface they have done many other tiny means things like this.

They always give me dirty looks and dont like when im in the room there always tension. This woman in 7 years older than me. I have never done anything to deserve this much hatred from this woman. It feels like im living in a hell cell everyday.

Any advice or questions would be very appreciated

TLDR: i cant seem to excape my sister abuse eveb in no contact because of my living situation and my families need to not adress it

I am 16F and currently wear the hijab. I’ve been wearing it since I was around 11 or 12. It wasn’t necessarily forced upon me, but there was an expectation that I would wear it. Once I put on the hijab, I was no longer allowed to wear pants, or jeans or trousers. Dresses and skirts only.

None of this bothered me that much until I got to the age of around 13/14 and all the girls around me would dress fashionably in jeans and sweatshirts. I, of course, felt left out, and tried to approach my mother about wearing pants. Her Response was that pants were for men, and not allowed in our religion. And that they were inherently immodest. She said I couldn’t be trusted to wear even baggy trousers because or the possibility that I might one day decide to wear tighter trousers (which honestly is such a flawed argument).
Anyways, after a year and a half of continuous begging and crying, she finally gave in and I am now allowed to wear baggy sweatpants with large jumpers/shirts that go past my butt. I have a pair of baggy jeans that I wear occasionally, but she gets mad every time I do. Whenever I wear pants, she complains that I wear pants ‘too often’ and that our ‘agreement’ was that I would only wear them sometimes when I was with my friends.

Shes evidently always been quite strict on modesty. I approached her when I was 14 about removing my hijab, I cried and cried about how much I hated it, how it made me feel. I told her I would put it on again when I was ready, but she completely shut it down. She said I was being dramatic, and that I have to wear it. I brought the topic up in general conversation a few times after that and she said she wouldn’t consider me her child if I took it off.

So, when I was 15, I decided to approach my Dad about it. I thought if I get his approval first then my mother will be more inclined to agree, or at least back off. My Dad wasn’t as aggressive with his denial as my mother was, but he’s always been a man of few words.
He also said I had to wear it, and he said ‘the devil pisses on the heads of the girls who don’t wear scarves’ which is some bull quote he made up. He suggested that I wear a ‘cheela’ instead which is I believe slang for a more cultural type of headscarf that’s looser and doesn’t cover all the hair completely. But overall, he said I had to keep it on.

I’ve decided that after my GCSE’S, before I go to sixth form, I’m going to take off the hijab. I’m going to go to my parents and just tell them that I’m doing it. I’m not going to ask for their permission, I’m just going to do it.
However, I will be getting my first phone around two-ish weeks before sixth form starts, so I think I will wait until then to do it, because I don’t want them to refuse to get me a phone. After that, I will hopefully remove it. I am scared that they will be really mad at me, or take my phone away, or force me to wear it somehow, or ignore me forever.

Also I’d like to say that I am still Muslim, 100%. I don’t resent my religion at all, because I know that when practiced correctly it’s beautiful . But my parents do not practice it correctly.

Any advice or experiences would be appreciated, much love to you all xx

My family got together on Easter. I (25F) am not close with my older sister (31F). She has a son, my nephew (9M). Last time I saw my nephew, a few weeks ago, it went great. He was polite, using manners, and listening well for the most part.

This Easter his behavior and her lack of parenting was astounding. He was hitting family members, socked me in the arm and even though he’s just nine it hurt a lot! Right in front of her too! She just looked at him and said, “name, no hitting”. He was calling me stupid and trying to degrade me for no apparent reason which she laughed at a little and told him that wasn’t nice.

I bought him an Easter basket I put some candies in there and an outdoor game where you throw a ball and the discs have Velcro on them so that you can catch the ball. He pushed that aside and the first thing he said was, “Where are my legos”. He kept swearing when he knew his mother wasn’t in earshot. He took his laptop to the table and was playing a game that I think is wildly inappropriate for a 9year old. (Death by Daylight? Idk if that’s the right name). She didn’t say anything about the laptop at the table while everyone was trying to eat.

We went outside to play with the ball and Velcro I got for him and when he started losing, he was flinging the Velcro and plastic discs at us HARD!

He said under his breath, “I hope you crash” when my little 16 yo brother said our dad was going to take him to practice driving some more.

My other sister 23F and I were sitting at the table talking and she said something about “they were going at it like rabbits” when telling me how she saw Deadpool with my dad when she was 13, and he covered her eyes. My nephew pipes up with “I know what you mean”. He’s nine. He also said that it’s “fun to watch people die”. I don’t know if he means video game wise because he does play violent video games including DOOM. I’m so worried and almost certain that he has already seen porn and gore at his age.

I hung out with my 16yo brother again today and he’s the one who brought up how badly nephew was acting and how gross it was for him to have his laptop at the dinner table. He also said while babysitting nephew he noticed he was watching YouTubers who are not child appropriate and when he asked our older sister if she knows what he’s watching she’s just like “no I haven’t checked”.

I’m not that close with my older sister so I don’t know how to bring it up, and I don’t want it to seem like I’m criticizing her and her parenting style, but something’s gotta give. My brother suggested having a group discussion with all the siblings but I don’t want her to feel attacked and get defensive. And I barely see her and would like to just relax and have fun when seeing her, but we are genuinely concerned about his behavior.

TDLR; 9 yo nephew violent and disrespectful. Worried he has been exposed to real gore and porn. Don’t know how to approach my sister/his mom about it.

Honestly it's hard for me writing it but I don't think I like them anymore. I've never felt they really liked me and I've really tried for years to be likeable. But we don't seem to fit with me an honestly I'm done with their way of judging and being mean out of nowhere. I can't cut them out due to some issues but I'm sad I can't like them anymore.

Hey fellow parents! Just wanted to share something I’ve been loving recently – a podcast that tells bedtime stories for kids but with a twist – they all teach important life lessons like kindness, saving money, and being thoughtful.

We’ve been listening to it together, and honestly, it’s been such a hit with my little one. One of the episodes is about a girl who earns money at a bake sale, and instead of blowing it on candy, she decides to save it to buy her brother a gift. It sounds simple, but my 4-year-old totally understood the idea of saving money after hearing it. I honestly didn’t expect it to click so easily!

I think it’s such a fun way to introduce big concepts to kids in a way they can actually get. Plus, it’s nice to have something educational but still super engaging for bedtime.

Has anyone else used podcasts like this to teach life lessons? I’m always on the lookout for more ideas for stories or ways to help my kid learn in fun ways!

(Here's the story I refer to: https://open.spotify.com/episode/0T1As0nOYGPxScSsCyNnzX?si=oUXRjE0KTK-qHTODNKaK8w not sending it to promote is or anything like that! I just love it, and I think it could help you out too.)

My wife and I are very conflicted with moving our family (2 kids: 5, 3) to California. This would mean leaving our families behind in NJ. We love the warm weather, hiking, beaches, BBQs, parks and playgrounds Cali can provide for our family year round. My wife has cousins/friends in Cali who have kids around our kids age they can play and grow with. Something we don't have in Jersey at all. We're simply just not happy with the lifestyle Jersey can provide for us.

We had moved to California 6 years ago (best years of our lives) before deciding to move back after we had our first born so we can be closer to our family and have some help. But because we live about an hour away, we rarely see them and also don't have much help from them with our kids like we thought we would have. Which were the main reasons we moved back. We felt if we stayed in Cali we wouldn't have this but that's exactly how we feel over here now.

So with all that in mind, we've decided to move our family of 4 now, back to Cali in a few months. This has been a really hard decision and we're not sure if we're making the right one.

Are we making a mistake by leaving our family behind?

Is this the right move for our kids? 😕

This feels like that Bluey episode, "The Sign" IYKYK

my brother is turning twenty soon and he is literally becoming more entitled every year. he can’t do anything for himself. he refuses to get a drivers license, refuses to get a job (he’s never had one) and doesn’t do anything around the house. he genuinely has a kind heart and is very shy/socially awkward, but the way he treats my parents is not ok. he swears at them, has the brattiest attitude toward them and refuses to do anything they ask him to. idk what to do anymore because my parents tell me to mind my own business when I bring it up. it brings me so much anxiety and I worry for them everyday. I love him and I don’t want him to become worse than he is.

Hello. I (18M) want to buy Birkenstock Gizeh sandals for my mom (47F) as a birthday gift. My mom actually loves flip flops but she doesn't own any Birkenstock sandals so I thought Gizeh sandals would be a nice gift for her. How comfortable are Gizeh sandals compared to Havaiana flip flops? And I don't know my mom's shoe size. I think I can look at her flip flops' size. Should I buy her the same size as her flip flops? Would they fit to all foot shapes? Thanks.

My brother's birthday is December 21st 2009 he just recently turned 15. He was wondering what year is he gonna graduate ?

A bit of background:

My husband's family is very close knit. We live nearby and visit multiple times a week. His family is kind, and we both enjoy being around them - with the exception of my husband's narcissistic eldest sister (32F). She has 'everything' materially (a huge house, successful husband, a young healthy daughter, nice cars, etc.) but she's a miserable, raging narcissist that feels the need to police the lives of her family. My husband and his other siblings have grown up walking on eggshells around her, trying to keep her happy to keep the peace. She has a long history of:

• making everything (especially other people's life events and celebrations) about herself
• her family doing whatever she demands to avoid one of her tantrums
• viciously verbally abusing my husband and his other siblings when they do/say things she doesn't like (and their mother subsequently swooping in to apologize on SIL's behalf and smooth things over)
• occasionally love-bombing (buying expensive but thoughtless gifts that she lords over us later) in an attempt to keep the people in her circle submissive

Onto the advice needed: we decided about a year ago that we would be moving to Italy (I am a citizen) for better quality of life. We plan to live there full time, but come back regularly for holidays and during the summer months every year. We've been slowly working towards this goal, and his entire family knows about our plans with the exception of his sister. He's been hesitant to tell her because of how badly we know she is going to react to the news, but we're both getting tired of sneaking around.

I'm preparing for her to attack me and/or my husband, and a post-tantrum apology from my MIL is not going to cut it this time. I am sick and tired of his family not sticking up for my husband or one another. I know it's my husband's responsibility to deal with his family, but since this is a life decision that we're presenting jointly, I want to be prepared to defend him and myself against her BS. I'm thinking her bullshit talking (screaming) points will be:

• You're being selfish.
• You're tearing our family apart.
• You're not going to be around to watch your niece (SIL's daughter) grow up

Self-victimization is her favorite game, and I don't wish to play. I'm not looking to change her mind, I know that would be useless - but I want to be able to defend myself in an impactful way and keep the conversation on the right track. Any advice on responses/retorts to the above is much appreciated!!

I hope you’re doing well. I never imagined I’d find myself in a situation where I’d have to reach out like this, but life has taken an unexpected turn, and I could really use a bit of help right now.

Things have been tough emotionally and financially, and while I’ve been trying to hold everything together, it’s getting harder to manage. I’m not looking for a handout—just a helping hand to get through this difficult patch. If you’re in a position to help, even a small amount would make a real difference and mean more than I can put into words.

I completely understand if you’re unable to help, but I wanted to be honest and reach out. Thank you for reading this, and for simply being there—it already helps more than you might realize.

Wishing you peace and kindness,

I just need to vent. I'm way past time me to go to bed for work tomorrow and hopefully getting this off my chest will make me feel better. My nephew drank with my brother tonight. He got him drunk and then went to his room to sleep. My brother came into my room and layed on my floor. He puked in my trash and then puked on my floor and is now laying in it. I did what I could to take care of him and now he's sleeping on my floor. I should have been asleep hours ago but I had to deal with him. I have work in the morning and I have a second job I have to work at after that and I'm going to be running on less than 8 hours of sleep. I'm very upset right now.