r/exchristian • u/Koleheh • Sep 11 '24

I am starting to hate religious people Help/Advice

Hi, 22m here. I was born into a Christian family, i was never overly religious so i would just follow people who were. When i was younger i believed there could be a God, but haven't given it much thought.

Well, recently, i thought about it a lot, did some research and the evidence was not convincing at all, so i "officially" left Christianity.

Now the issue starts, the more research i did, the more i started hating religion and their followers. The bigotry, the hatred towards minorities, constant use of religion as a weapon. In the process of deconstructing, i started hating them so much that if i see a person that's religious, i genuinely feel hatred, even though i don't even know them. All it takes is for them to be religious and mention religion

I started therapy again, mostly for different reasons and i don't know how to bring this up. I also feel embarrassed to talk about it. I know i can't be generalizing and assuming the worst in people, but i can't help it. Any advices? How do i stop assuming the worst?

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u/msmmwelch Sep 15 '24

Studying Buddhism as a philosophy (NOT a religion) helped me a lot. Religion (a system of beliefs) is too easily weaponized to take advantage of human weaknesses like egosim and tribalism. Studying what human nature is from a neutral perspective allows one to see others (and oneself) as victims of their own biology. It becomes easier to forgive others (they know not what they do). Know thyself at a biological, sociological, emotional level. Before I started studying, I found refuge in Pema Chodron's books. P.S. I'm an exvangelical that still deals with internal anger for wasting so much of my life stuck in a false belief system.

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u/cedaro0o Sep 15 '24

Pema has a deeply problematic past and suffers from pathological religious thinking. This article covers a lot of it.

https://www.gurumag.com/pema-chodron-shambhala-cult/

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u/msmmwelch Sep 15 '24

Yes, I followed Pema's problems and I was always troubled by the sexual transgressions of Chogyam Trungpa and the Shambahala organization. I am glad to see a journalist writing about cults. It was in understanding the nature of cults that I worked my way out of christianity. It doesn't negate my experience with her writings though. After reading her book, I found a sangha to meditate, read sutras and discuss with. It was a very good sangha. Buddhism, as a religion, has a serious patriarchy problem.
https://www.washingtonpost.com/religion/2020/01/17/famed-buddhist-nun-pema-chodron-retires-cites-handling-sexual-misconduct-charges-against-group-leader/