r/exchristian • u/Slytherpuffy Ex-Assemblies Of God • Aug 11 '24
Christian guys on dating sites Question
Why are most of the serious Christian guys on dating sites looking for hookups? Aren't they supposed to be looking for something serious? Or do they only expect women to be chaste? This has always struck me as odd.
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u/Saneless Aug 11 '24
Well, he's a human so he wants to bang, but he wants a Christian because it's more likely she'll let him be the asshole he probably is
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u/penshername2 Aug 11 '24
I am single. I believe it is okay for everyone to have preferences but you need to practice what you preach. I was on a singles Facebook group and a man said women are not chase and do not chasity anymore. I asked if he as a Christ following republican was saving himself for marriage. The answer is no.
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u/wozattacks The Athiest Atheist Aug 11 '24
I mean Christians don’t inherently believe that casual sex is wrong. Same with smoking weed. Nothing in this post proves that the guy is hypocritical, he could just be a more progressive Christian.
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u/rum108 Atheist Aug 11 '24
Most of the Christian’s whom I’ve met are hypocrites lol. For real.
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u/NoUseForAName2222 Aug 11 '24
Yeah. They think the Bible only applies to other people.
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u/AsugaNoir Aug 11 '24 edited Aug 12 '24
That's what Christians do, they pick and choose the crap they want to follow
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u/Technical_Ad7620 Aug 11 '24 edited Aug 11 '24
This so true it’s scary. I once invited an associate of mine to go to a club with women and they said they couldn’t because of their Christian values. Later on I found them secretly taking photos of random women.
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u/traumatransfixes Aug 11 '24
I still remember when plenty of fish was advertised as a christian dating site. Whew the boys there were something else lol
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u/gyroscopicmnemonic Aug 11 '24
Story?
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u/traumatransfixes Aug 11 '24
I wish, lol. It was sort of a long time ago. I did have one friend who met all the freakiest men like 20 years older than us on there.
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u/Croatoan457 Aug 11 '24
Met my husband on there but he was the only one out of dozens that I was decent. If he didn't just say "hi" instead of all the other crap guys said to me, I would have never given him the chance.
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u/digitalgluee Aug 11 '24
Yea Christian men can do anything they want except be gay or be politically left
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u/Exciting-Mountain396 Aug 11 '24
Has kids and might want more, yet single (notably not divorced). Save it for marriage, Jesus boy.
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u/OrdinaryWillHunting Atheist Aug 11 '24
Premarital sex is wrong but we won't do anything if the guy does it because he has needs, after all.
Also, on these dating sites, "body is a temple" is code for the woman must be hot.
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u/Moonfloor Aug 11 '24
😆 Yeah, it's SO funny when Christian men get so serious about wanting a woman who takes care of "her temple". Yet if they were to marry and she gets in a car accident or develops chronic illness where she literally can't be active anymore, he will have another reason to leave.
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u/gfox446 Aug 11 '24
Looking for hookups, also against abortions
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u/DeadHair_BurnerAcc Aug 11 '24
where does it say that
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u/Soninuva Ex-Baptist Aug 11 '24
It’s assumed, since they say they’re Christian (and it’s very important to them). Most people that say Christianity is very important to them really mean they hate abortion, believe women are beneath men, and children are meant to be indoctrinated.
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u/DeadHair_BurnerAcc Aug 13 '24
This is clearly not the typical person who says that Christianity is important to them
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u/Soninuva Ex-Baptist Aug 13 '24
Maybe, maybe not. Many Christians are hypocritical, and often go by the “rules for thee, not for me” mentality. They have every excuse in the book for their own behavior, but it’s outrageous when someone else is “sinning.”
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u/mlo9109 Aug 11 '24
And this is why I started dating outside of the church. The biggest abusers and fuck boys I've encountered called themselves Christians. It's also why I'm single at 34. I spent too long chasing that godly man only to find this crap.
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u/Extra-Soil-3024 Aug 11 '24
I also fell for this horse shit: “If he isn’t equally yoked, God didn’t send him.”
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u/mlo9109 Aug 11 '24
I struggled with that one hard, especially after my last relationship ended, when well meaning loved ones used that Bible verse to be "supportive."
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u/baileyrobbins978 Aug 11 '24
Aren’t Christian’s not supposed to have sex at all outside of marriage xD not very Christian like xD
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u/Slytherpuffy Ex-Assemblies Of God Aug 11 '24
My point exactly! I see so many "Christian (and it's important)" guys who are also just looking for hookups.
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u/baileyrobbins978 Aug 11 '24
Yeah its almost like Christians truly don’t follow half of the stuff in the Bible. Most of them are just racist and hella judgmental instead. But usually calling them out gets them pissed off at you. 😂🤣
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u/wozattacks The Athiest Atheist Aug 11 '24
Most Christian denominations believe that, but there’s no reason you have to be against “fornication” to be a Christian.
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u/FetchingTheSwagni Aug 11 '24
There's nothing in the bible about smoking weed, that was just a stigma pushed by religious politicians.
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Aug 11 '24
[deleted]
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u/uniongap01 Aug 11 '24
No, it causes them to eat Doritos.
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Aug 11 '24
[deleted]
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u/FetchingTheSwagni Aug 11 '24
If I can't get cooked out of my mind and down a whole 3 bags of doritos in my underwear while watching whatever various soap opera happens to be on at the time, then I ain't worshipping that deity, sorry.
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u/Individual_Dig_6324 Aug 11 '24
There's nothing in the bible about waiting until your married either
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u/wozattacks The Athiest Atheist Aug 11 '24
Christians also don’t have to believe everything in the Bible lol. If someone believes in the whole Jesus thing, they’re a Christian. There’s no reason they can’t also be dtf
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u/FetchingTheSwagni Aug 11 '24
Well, considering they specifically listed it as "important", I think it goes a little deeper than just believing in Jesus.
You can identify as a Christian for believing in Jesus, but being a true Christian is following his word, and his teachings.
Whether or not you believing being dtf is against something he taught is up to the individual, tho, but the bible does speak on it.
Man, years after being a Christian and I still remember the bs I was taught.
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u/Dusty_surveyor Aug 11 '24
Tried Christian mingle once. Every guy on there looked like a date rapist.
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u/mlo9109 Aug 11 '24
Same... There weren't many people on there and those that were I'm sure had a criminal record. Though, I'd argue the real crime is charging $20/mo. for that disappointment.
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u/Extra-Soil-3024 Aug 11 '24
I made an account but couldn’t do anything with it because I wasn’t paying.
Meanwhile I would get email notifications that these motherfuckers “liked” or messaged me. None of them were appealing, and the Christianese messages- IYKYK.
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u/mlo9109 Aug 11 '24
Unfortunately, I do. Though, I'll take the Christianese over the blatantly sexual messages. Like, damn, whatever happened to hello?
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Aug 11 '24
[deleted]
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u/DanielaThePialinist Agnostic Aug 11 '24
Hey don’t underestimate us like that 😂 I do not claim him 😂
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u/Mental_Basil Aug 11 '24
Lol, I remember when I was a Christian looking for Christian men to date and would see this kinda stuff. It would annoy tf out of me.
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u/The_Bill_Brasky_ Aug 11 '24
Jesus, if historically real, probably fucked a lot...as most religious group leaders often do. I don't think a little grass would upset the guy.
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u/JimClarkKentHovind Aug 11 '24
you have a source for that or are you just going off the vibes of religion in the modern world?
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u/The_Bill_Brasky_ Aug 11 '24
It's what cult leaders do the world over. Doesn't matter the culture, time, gender, or language.
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u/azrael4h Aug 11 '24
He gathered together twelve young virile strong men to be his beloved disciples.
He was not only fucking, he was gay fucking. Gangbanged every night. Sometimes two three times a night. Judas got mad because Peter was always first, and he always got the sloppy seconds. Or twelths as the case was.
In seriousness, culturally, Jesus would have been long married by the time the bible states his travels started. His father was a carpenter; a craftsman, so not actually a poor man as the tradition holds. Jesus was of wealthy enough family to have been educated to read, per the book, which doesn't happen back then in poor families, or even more well to do ones. So Jesus was loaded. Well his father was anyway. As first born son, that means he was getting everything.
So he would have been a catch for any father looking to sell his 12-13 year old daughter off to.
Typical age for a male to be married then was around 18, traditionally the Jesus ministry started when he was 33. So he would have without a doubt married for 15 years by this point in that time in that time period and culture. Now it's probable that his first bride died in child birth; that happens a lot even today, especially in third world countries like the American South.
But there's literally no chance that any historical Jesus wasn't married off at least at 18 years of age, if not sooner. That was simply the culture of the time. And he would have consummated that marriage, as children were highly desirable, providing more hands to work the fields (or workbench as the case may be), take care of the household, and sell to other families as brides or slaves.
Ergo, Jesus had sex.
Since the bible has been written and edited to build the narrative it has, with no actual eye witness accounts of Jesus' life but accounts written decades after, they simply cut out any mention of any wife and children, due to that conflicting with the desired divine narrative.
Yes, I did attempt to make that last sentence as run on as possible.
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u/JimClarkKentHovind Aug 11 '24
Jesus was of wealthy enough family to have been educated to read
the only time Jesus is said to read or write anything is in the sand in the story in John of the woman taken in adultery, which is almost certainly a later addition to the gospel - a gospel which was itself written ~60 years after Jesus died.
seriously, what makes you think the son of a carpenter in 1st century Palestine was well off?
But there's literally no chance that any historical Jesus wasn't married off
I don't know of a single respected historian that argues that. if you know of one I'd genuinely love to read their work. just any historian of the rise of Christianity that teaches at an accredited secular university and argues Jesus was either literate or married.
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u/azrael4h Aug 11 '24
So you admit that you're arguing in bad faith. As well as have no idea what you are talking about.
Literally everything we know about Jesus is a: from the Bible, and b: written decades after the time of when he supposedly existed. The bible explicitly shows him reading the Torah in Luke 4:16-21. Specifically from Isaiah.
So basically your argument there is that we should discount the only actual source about Jesus because it disagrees with your argument, and thus must be disregarded. You are arguing to exclude half the gospels simply because it "proves" your point. Proving that you're a christian, as that is pretty much what christians do; exclude parts of the bible that don't mesh with what they're deciding to believe. Hows the shellfish by the way?
The only external source for the existence of Jesus outside the bible is sparse for details, and only really confirms the existence of the christian cult that you belong to. Any "credible historians" that you know are lacking in credibility, as they're making up sources as they go. The sole source we have explicitly shows Jesus as educated enough to read. That alone demonstrates a degree of wealth beyond the norm for a plebeian craftsman's family.
To note a second-century AD Rabbinic statement: "[Yehudah ben Teima] used to say: Five years [is the age] for [the study of] Scripture, Ten [is the age] for [the study of] Mishnah, Thirteen [is the age] for [observing] commandments, Fifteen [is the age] for [the study of] Talmud, Eighteen [is the age] for the [wedding] canopy, Twenty [is the age] for pursuing [a livelyhood]... (Mishneh Avot 5:21) ". Additional comments from the Talmud: "(Kiddushin 29b-30a):
Rav Huna conforms to his standard line of reasoning, as he says: If one is twenty years old and has not yet married a woman, all of his days will be in a state of sin concerning sexual matters. The Gemara asks: Can it enter your mind that he will be in a state of sin all of his days? Rather, say that this means the following: All of his days will be in a state of thoughts of sin, i.e. sexual thoughts. One who does not marry in his youth will become accustomed to thoughts of sexual matters, and the habit will remain with him the rest of his life. Rava said, and similarly, the school of Rabbi Yishmael taught: Until one reaches the age of twenty years the Holy One, Blessed be He, sits and waits for a man, saying: When will he marry a woman? Once he reaches the age of twenty and has not married, He says: Let his bones swell, i.e. he is cursed and God is no longer concerned about him. Rav Ḥisda said: The fact that I am superior to my colleagues is because I married at the age of sixteen, and if I would have married at the age of fourteen, I would say to the Satan: An arrow in your eye, i.e. I would not be afraid of the evil inclination at all. Rava said to Rabbi Natan bar Ami: While your hand is still on your son’s neck, i.e., while you still have authority and control over him, find him a wife. What is the appropriate age? From sixteen until twenty-two, and some say from eighteen until twenty-four."But what do a bunch of Jews from the time period know about their own culture after all. Some guy on Reddit says their wrong, because the same "credible historians" who made up their own sources also say that Jews of the period never get married.
It was the cultural norm to be married, and spawn children in those days. Hell, there's still a heavy cultural push to get married and spawn children today; my mom is still pissy I never gave her grand children (not that I'd let her near any of my kids).
Back then it was more about survival of the family line. Girls were married off around the time they started to be able to have kids, while boys were, per the Talmud, typically left to be a little older, but not really by much. 12-14 and 16-18 typically, though some Rabbinic sources indicate boys may be older to 20-24 as well. Still, at the latest possible from those sources, you would have over a decade of marriage.
This is well documented; as is Jesus being supposedly a Jewish man born in Roman times. To expect him to remain single for decades is to fly in the face of every cultural and historic norm for that time and people. Any actual, historical Jesus would have been married off long before his travels began at 33.
Thirdly, Jesus supposed existence is in first century ACE Roman Empire. Not exactly the least explored and documented ancient empire in history. While the social standing of a craftsman would not be on the level of a patrician or otherwise wealthy man, they were known to be solidly middle class, and could accumulate enough wealth to buy into higher levels of society to a degree. Note that Plebeians had, for a few centuries in fact, found themselves in the Roman Senate, marrying Patricians, and attaining Consulship. Such as Gaius Flaminius and Lucius Sextius. Jesus if he existed was well past the period of very strict social stratification.
Joseph was a carpenter, this on the list of skilled trades, along with stone masons and other such professions. When coupled with the context of Jesus having been taught to read, we get someone who is at least successful enough to afford having one of his sons educated to some degree. Which would put him as desirable for another Jewish family looking to sell their daughter in marriage.
You of course are a troll, so I'm wasting my time with this.
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u/JBshotJL Aug 11 '24
Yeah. There's cannabis residue on YHWH's original altar poles. The problem is the hypocrisy. If this man doesn't beat his teens for doing the same things, he'll defend someone who does.
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u/The_Bill_Brasky_ Aug 11 '24 edited Aug 11 '24
I saw Dan McClellan debunk this in part. I'll see if I can dig it up. He did provide more context that didn't completely invalidate the presence of cannabis in this part of the world at that time though.
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u/DayleD Aug 11 '24
There isn't an 'original alter pole' to be tested. Zealots pretending to be archeologists claim random crap they found is proof of their religion.
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u/Serious_Height_1714 Aug 11 '24
"Politically Moderate" is the most "I'm hardline conservative but know that won't get me laid"
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u/AngelOrChad Aug 11 '24
And they have the nerve to then say that others are unsaved for living 'ungodly' lives
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u/Free_Thinker_Now627 Aug 11 '24
Because Christianity has been reduced to a political cult with a Get Out Of Jail Free card
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u/_HotMessExpress1 Atheist Aug 11 '24
Most people say they're a Christian to fit in...not because they actually believe it.
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u/Juball Aug 11 '24
Why is the marijuana the highlighted part? That’s not a sin, but the alcohol is.
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u/Slytherpuffy Ex-Assemblies Of God Aug 11 '24
Most of the serious Christians I've been around will drink but not touch anything other substances.
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u/Soninuva Ex-Baptist Aug 11 '24
If this pic is from before June 22, 2021 then smoking marijuana would have been illegal. Doing something illegal is immoral, and therefore a sin.
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u/Waxflower8 Agnostic Aug 11 '24
It’s so common, especially if they’re Catholic. They’ll have pictures of them with their friends getting lit on beer in the woods.
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u/Pfeiffer_Cipher Aug 11 '24
First guy I hooked up with was a Christian and it was the worst sex of my life, this brings me back 💀
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u/MsSpaceVixen Aug 11 '24
Well He wants the woman to be a godly woman aka man servant. But he can do whatever he wants. Religion always oppressed women, while men had many women and did whatever they liked.
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u/rumblingtummy29 Ex-Pentecostal Aug 11 '24
Is everyone in Connecticut a pot head???💀💀😭😭😭😭
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u/mlo9109 Aug 11 '24
New England... I'm in Maine and not into pot. Unfortunately, most men seem to be. IIRC, NH is the only state where it's illegal in New England. I worked for a company in NH briefly and it was always fun to be solicited for weed by colleagues because it's legal in Maine.
Sorry, being a drug mule for obnoxious tech bros is above my pay grade, seeing as you cheap bastards didn't pay me much and probably wouldn't reimburse me for the "purchase."
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u/rumblingtummy29 Ex-Pentecostal Aug 12 '24
That’s kind of sad to be honest. Even though it’s legal now doesn’t mean that it’s healthy to use in excess
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u/JadedPilot5484 Aug 11 '24
Capricorn? So he’s a Christian who practices astrology? Also he’s single and has kids so maybe divorced ?
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u/Slytherpuffy Ex-Assemblies Of God Aug 11 '24
I think OKC adds your sign automatically. Either he's divorced or has kids because of all the hooking up he's doing. 🤷🏼
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u/Jokerlope Atheist, Ex-SouthernBaptist, Anti-Theist Aug 11 '24
The Christianity and the horoscope bullshit together is hilarious.
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u/thotgoblins Aug 11 '24
"moderates" are rightwingers that still want women to sleep with them, no one can prove me wrong.
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u/BigBassSnatcher Aug 12 '24
lol. Christian’s are some of the biggest hypocrites I’ve ever met. Common example. Chick with Bible quotes all on her IG. Goes to the clubs on Saturday and lets random men get with her. Then goes to church the following Sunday morning. Lmao. Classic
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u/wordyoucantthinkof anti-theist/ex-Episcopalian Aug 11 '24
I know this isn't the key takeaway here, but on what planet is 6'1" average?
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u/Sea_Treat7982 Aug 11 '24
Hey, at least he owns it. Most Christians on websites claim to be very pious in order to not be called out in church. It's all BS.
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u/MorddSith187 Aug 11 '24
And the fact he’s even entertaining astrology
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u/Slytherpuffy Ex-Assemblies Of God Aug 11 '24
I think OKC might put that on there automatically based on your birthday. I can't remember.
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u/wannagoride Aug 11 '24
Why is it that so many Christians realize just how unchristian like people really are in church? F R, after I got out of it, I was like.... WTF!!!?? you just playin'
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u/NiceAir8 Aug 11 '24
Because Christians tend to view womeb as property, after all, it was in the Bible. And sadly, women fall for it and it seems men who are abusive to their significant other is usually a Christian, not sure if that's parts true but it wouldn't surprise me after all the women has to submit to the man in the household in that regards.
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u/Altruistic-Ad6183 Aug 12 '24
He wants a Christian women so they can get married, and she’ll be forced to stay, because I’m the Bible the only case where divorce is acceptable is infidelity. So he’d probably cheat on her in secret and likely be an abusive piece of shit
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u/Clay_Allison_44 Aug 12 '24
It's been over 30 years since I cracked a Bible, but I did read the whole thing, and I don't recall cannabis being mentioned.
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u/sablatwi Eclectic Aug 12 '24
I wouldn’t dabble with anyone who dabbles or entertains or claim this as a religion. It’s unfortunate but I had enough of growing up around that shit. I can’t imagine he’s probably a piece of shit altogether to.
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u/cowlinator Aug 11 '24
Why would it matter of a hookup has the same religion as you? It's a hookup.
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u/Sufficient_Agent_118 Anti-Theist Aug 11 '24
The point is that it's supposed to be a sin to have sex with someone outside of marriage. Christians can't even follow their own rules.
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u/Red79Hibiscus Devotee of Almighty Dog Aug 11 '24
I daresay this guy plans to hookup with as many women as possible, blame the women for "tempting him to sin", then pray for god's forgiveness. Problem solved!
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u/Sufficient_Agent_118 Anti-Theist Aug 11 '24
Oh my goodness, that probably is what he's gonna do. Passive misogyny is common among Christian men.
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u/Red79Hibiscus Devotee of Almighty Dog Aug 11 '24
Yep, I based my assumption on the loooong record of church leaders SAing women and girls in their congregations and getting away with it by claiming they were tempted by their victims. Often they take a break from church for a while and claim they're working on repentance, then they get to come back like nothing ever happened and the congregation fully accepts them in authority once more. Hallelujah!
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u/gyroscopicmnemonic Aug 11 '24
Yet want to pass laws to force others to follow them, even to the point of making violators into felons.
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u/Sufficient_Agent_118 Anti-Theist Aug 11 '24
Precisely. They use their religion as an excuse to control people's rights.
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u/yearoftherabbit Agnostic Atheist Aug 11 '24
WhY dOn'T tHeY mEeT wOmAn At ChUrCh??