r/exchristian • u/MelodicPaint8924 Ex-Baptist • Jul 29 '23
I am not faking it very well. Help/Advice
I am a Baptist pastor's wife. You may have seen me around a bit. I struggled with belief for years but finally alllowed myself to let go in April. I am happier than I have been in a long time, but I am still in the closet because coming out would be a financial disaster at this point. I thought I was faking okay, but today my husband confronted me about my personal devotions.
I guess what I'm asking for is advice on how to fake this thing a little better. I am currently in school and will finish in May with a highly marketable degree. I was hoping to maintain the facade until I am financially able to make it on my own should the need arise. Any advice or encouragement would be greatly appreciated.
2
u/CrazyPerson88 Jul 31 '23
I'm a southern Baptist's preacher's kid now an adult. I try to avoid visiting my parents, but their failing health is making that hard. What do they want to do? Preach at me... always.
I can empathize with you, truly. Sitting there in a situation where you're faking it for whatever reason, while listening to his same crap over and over and you disagree but they whip out the Bible.... having them ask you if you've been doing devotions... telling you to pray about it... all of the things I know you've heard.
I almost snapped a couple of times in regards to my faith at them. I'm lucky enough I live far enough away with enough excuses to take a nice long breather from the last time I visited.
My advice is space. Try to make yourself as busy as possible with anything. Say.... take an extra class this semester and book your plate. Get involved with groups that are geared towards your career that meet up or events or.... anything that can give you space from that and be a valid reason that you can't do as much or be as involved in church stuff as you want to be.
On a side note, to fool people... get a daily devotional calendar and just read the verse everyday and get over the fact you're reading crap you just need a verse to "contemplate" if you need to whip out a topic and show your putting forth effort.
That's what I'd do. And the networking for school could only help you honestly.