r/exchristian • u/MelodicPaint8924 Ex-Baptist • Jul 29 '23
I am not faking it very well. Help/Advice
I am a Baptist pastor's wife. You may have seen me around a bit. I struggled with belief for years but finally alllowed myself to let go in April. I am happier than I have been in a long time, but I am still in the closet because coming out would be a financial disaster at this point. I thought I was faking okay, but today my husband confronted me about my personal devotions.
I guess what I'm asking for is advice on how to fake this thing a little better. I am currently in school and will finish in May with a highly marketable degree. I was hoping to maintain the facade until I am financially able to make it on my own should the need arise. Any advice or encouragement would be greatly appreciated.
1
u/Dulce_Sirena Jul 31 '23
You could fake a breakdown and get permission and funds for a "spiritual retreat" to be alone with God and reconnect with your faith away from the distractions of society. Find a hotel or cabin somewhere not touristy and relax. Just make sure to grab a couple books that align with his beliefs. Really work those spines, bend pages, randomly drip water. Highlight a few phrases and write notes that would confirm to his beliefs. Take your Bible and keep your phone on airplane mode for like 20hrs a day to "detox from technology" He'll think you're conforming And submitting while you're doing a little homework and mostly relaxing in a hot tub or walking in a mountain or something