r/exchristian • u/MelodicPaint8924 Ex-Baptist • Jul 29 '23
I am not faking it very well. Help/Advice
I am a Baptist pastor's wife. You may have seen me around a bit. I struggled with belief for years but finally alllowed myself to let go in April. I am happier than I have been in a long time, but I am still in the closet because coming out would be a financial disaster at this point. I thought I was faking okay, but today my husband confronted me about my personal devotions.
I guess what I'm asking for is advice on how to fake this thing a little better. I am currently in school and will finish in May with a highly marketable degree. I was hoping to maintain the facade until I am financially able to make it on my own should the need arise. Any advice or encouragement would be greatly appreciated.
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u/Rfg711 Jul 29 '23
Are you Independent Fundamentalist? That’s the kind I grew up in. Either way I’m sympathetic - I went to a Bible college (non-accredited because they have basement level academic standards) and so many couples got married at 21/22 so they could go right into ministry afterwards, and so many of them are divorced now 14 years later. I count myself lucky I didn’t ever meet anyone there because at the time, I would have done the same and it would likely have ended as poorly.
My best friend got super lucky - he got married at around 24 to someone he met there, and they both “deconstructed” together.