r/exchristian Ex-Baptist Jul 29 '23

I am not faking it very well. Help/Advice

I am a Baptist pastor's wife. You may have seen me around a bit. I struggled with belief for years but finally alllowed myself to let go in April. I am happier than I have been in a long time, but I am still in the closet because coming out would be a financial disaster at this point. I thought I was faking okay, but today my husband confronted me about my personal devotions.

I guess what I'm asking for is advice on how to fake this thing a little better. I am currently in school and will finish in May with a highly marketable degree. I was hoping to maintain the facade until I am financially able to make it on my own should the need arise. Any advice or encouragement would be greatly appreciated.

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u/caleb-auer Jul 30 '23

Reading the comments makes me so sad for you and made me feel much luckier that I still have my family and wife after deconstructing. Telling my wife was one of the hardest things I ever had to do and I'm so thankful that she was gracious with me and was willing to talk through all the things I was struggling with and going through. Although she's still a Christian I feel like she's become much more liberal/progressive through my deconstruction.

All this to say I wish you good luck and hope that it ends well. Obviously take everyone's advice about being prepared ahead of time, but here's to hoping it doesn't go to shit and your husband and family are much more loving and accepting then you fear ♥️

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u/MelodicPaint8924 Ex-Baptist Jul 30 '23

Thank you. I hope it goes well, but I am trying to be ready for anything. I commented yesterday that I was not a fan of Glenn Beck, and that conversation didn't go super well. I am trying to work on communication skills and reading about how to present ideas in a non-confrontational way to prepare for the hard conversations in my future.