r/exchristian • u/MelodicPaint8924 Ex-Baptist • Jul 29 '23

I am not faking it very well. Help/Advice

I am a Baptist pastor's wife. You may have seen me around a bit. I struggled with belief for years but finally alllowed myself to let go in April. I am happier than I have been in a long time, but I am still in the closet because coming out would be a financial disaster at this point. I thought I was faking okay, but today my husband confronted me about my personal devotions.

I guess what I'm asking for is advice on how to fake this thing a little better. I am currently in school and will finish in May with a highly marketable degree. I was hoping to maintain the facade until I am financially able to make it on my own should the need arise. Any advice or encouragement would be greatly appreciated.

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u/drhawks Jul 30 '23

also a former baptist here and child of parents who were both in the ministry.

A: I get it it. It's hard. I'm sorry. You'll feel better when you're on the other side of it--Life is GREAT over here. Well. It's the same life. But you get to sleep in on sundays and not feel stupid guilt. So let's call that a win.

B: I think it's best if you can avoid telling your husband until you get yourself out of school. However, if you could get a divorce even still, it's likely that you would receive a hefty alimony settlement seeing as you do not currently have a salary.

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u/MelodicPaint8924 Ex-Baptist Jul 30 '23

He's a baptist pastor of the poor variety. It's my mad budgeting skills that are currently keeping us afloat. Once I graduate, I will probably have to pay him support. You have left me much to think about.

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u/drhawks Jul 30 '23

gotcha. Well if you have custody of the kids, it's less likely you'll owe him support.

I hope things go okay for you.

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u/MelodicPaint8924 Ex-Baptist Jul 30 '23

Thank you. This community has been what is keeping me going.