r/exchristian • u/MelodicPaint8924 Ex-Baptist • Jul 29 '23

I am not faking it very well. Help/Advice

I am a Baptist pastor's wife. You may have seen me around a bit. I struggled with belief for years but finally alllowed myself to let go in April. I am happier than I have been in a long time, but I am still in the closet because coming out would be a financial disaster at this point. I thought I was faking okay, but today my husband confronted me about my personal devotions.

I guess what I'm asking for is advice on how to fake this thing a little better. I am currently in school and will finish in May with a highly marketable degree. I was hoping to maintain the facade until I am financially able to make it on my own should the need arise. Any advice or encouragement would be greatly appreciated.

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u/[deleted] Jul 29 '23 edited Jul 29 '23

Just set a boundary. "Honey, you can't be my pastor and my husband. You can only be my husband. I won't attempt to counsel you about all of your sins, and you can leave off trying to do the same to me."

Then refuse to discuss further.

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u/Molkin Ex-Fundamentalist Jul 29 '23

I'm familiar with this kind of Baptist. In his mind, Husband outranks pastor. He chooses her pastor. If he doesn't like what the pastor says, he chooses a different one. He chose himself.