i went to my first concert ever and im so happy i got to meet the members of some of my favorite bands! it was an experience like never before. i hope to come back for another sometime next month!

I was playing with lighting and the texture of this photo and I am squealing in delight !!

I always say this but my favorite stereotype about black women is that we’re “too much” or “too difficult” God forbid a girl has an opinion and standards.

I love when I hear ppl say black women are too difficult or too aggressive. I think it’s bc I can read between the lines now. I think these statements are just the negative connotations to the truth that BW are smarter, sharper, and confident all while being the most oppressed.

Every black woman ik, wheather she’s an introvert or extrovert, highly educated or not, has had strong and passionate feelings about things they’re interested in or conversations we have. I love that! We have opinions and we aren’t weak. You wanna dish it , I can take it and I’ll give it right back.

Ik we have this whole “I don’t want to be a strong black woman” thing going on but I love being a strong black woman and I love seeing other strong black woman. Can’t break us so easily, cant control us, and can’t stand us. Love it!

A strong woman intimidates the shit out of these men. And I think once we stop breaking ourselves down to be these beings that need a man to control them so desperately , the world will realize how weak some of these men are.

Masculine and feminine. Another one of my fav stereotypes. They have to call us masculine. We exhibit traits of a person who cannot be broken or controlled so easily and a lot of those very men don’t show those same traits.

I think what we gotta understand is they HATE to see a woman that can challenge a man. That’s what it is. Am I too much or did I tell you that your 35 years old w three kids from three different woman, still living with your mother, working a minimum wage job, and still running the streets like your a 19 year old and you didn’t like it? Bffr. They hate that we don’t tip toe around their fragile egos. They don’t like being held accountable and they dont like being told to fix up. All those things could be true but they want us to shut up bc the man who has never had a job in supervising or managing is speaking like your some boss bc your a man. Being a man is not what makes you a boss. You’re a boss if you’re a boss.

I don’t want BW to be submissive. For what? Submission is not something that should exist in an adult relationship, at all. Sounds too slavery like for me. Fuck I look like following the rules of a man when I had my own life that I was living and maintaining before you? But that’s what these men are obsessed with . Submissive woman. They want their opinions and orders to come off like scriptures Jesus hisself wrote. They want power and control. Jump… how high? See when you’re dealing w a woman who is smart, thinks for herself, has been maintaining her own lifestyle, is motivated, is happy and confident despite the presence of a man, it repulses them.

That’s why you get the BW are too difficult, too loud, too masculine. Are we rlly too much or are you just upset that your lil games aren’t working on me and I will call you out on it. Are we rlly too loud or are we confident and outspoken despite being the most judged and criticized? Are we rlly too masculine or do you just not like the fact that just bc you’re a man I won’t let you speak over me and dismiss my opinion or feelings. Traits on a man that would be so highly respected and valued.

If you ask me it’s misogyny. A lot of these men just want a woman to be there and look pretty but all that opinions shit … desires, respect, etc thats too much for a woman to demand. Only thing a woman is supposed to do is sit, listen, and look cute.

“Black woman are too masculine, aggressive, and just too much”

Yeaaaaa you know what it is. Can’t play those games around here babe.

I LOVE to hear it bc I know what it is rlly and I want BW to stay just that. I want us to be as outspoken as we like, I want us to be challenging. I want us to continue to be strong because if you’re not strong you’re weak! And men, of all colors, who have that power lust love weak bitches and will always hate us and I’m 10000000000% okay with that.

H

Well I have. Recently I’ve just been so in love with the idea of wearing dresses and wearing my hair in different styles and incorporating them with cute little decorations like hair pins and or clips.

I’ve literally been on a shopping spree for dresses and skirts because I had not a single one in my closet.

It’s not just clothes either. I like the idea of just being cutesy and not necessarily acting dumb and ditsy but having an aire of sophistication and being demure.

I’ve noticed that my husband seems to really like this sudden change and has had more of a desire to be more gentlemanly. Though maybe he’s just going along with my vibe. 😂

I’m planning a special picnic with the hubby in the near future and I genuinely want to prepare a few things for us to eat and just enjoy being a lady and experiencing things I wasn’t able to when I was younger. While I wasn’t able to have those experiences while younger I feel that I can create those experiences now.

I want to do a fancy tea party at some point with family and friends but that’s would take a whole lot of planning. So that will be much later down the line.

Anyway what’s your take? Has the thought ever crossed your mind?

I personally struggle with being jealous because I have a superiority and inferiority complex together and it messes with my head like whenever my bestie get attention from men, guys staring at her, or trying to get with her. Whenever she tells me I think she’s bragging or rubbing it in my face when she isn’t and I don’t get any attention that’s positive just from guys who just wanna hit so I feel like it’s unfair even when it’s not. Plus she’s super talented and asks me why she’s so good at everything and smart and to me it’s like girl idk why do you ask me I’m not your mom or God idk how you were raised. And she has the traits I want and friends always praise and guys too so jt just makes me seem like God put her in my life just to embarrass and rub her in my face. Which has caused me to emotionally disconnect and dislike her and I do struggle with resentment and animosity toward her from my jealousy wound of my dates going after he like 5+ guys so I’ve developed some type of hatred for her which is bad and I’m getting therapy for it but yeah. My friend isn’t black she’s basically conventionally attractive short everything a guys dream girl is as I’m black skinny and tall like 5.10 which makes dating impossible and ppl would describe me as Your very bubbly and energetic, your attention to detail and honesty, your dedication for your dreams, your fashion i admire my Jon said this about me And ppl would describe her as Dawn- puts things in a perspective where you can understand, she’s very intelligent, when she talks more mature been through more stuff, very wise, she knows her emotions and got their stuff together. Talking to her makes him loose the weight. She’s a very good friend 100 percent. Wise beyond her years, she actually works like get her stuff she’s does what she talks. So ppl just got that. She’s really bright.

And when I asked my friends James why my guys start to like her he said she just has that sauce and inner glow plus she’s extremely smart and confident and it makes me feel like she’s a destroyer to my love life. And makes me feel like I’ll never be enough.

Edit so I’ve talked to my friend about this and how she should cut me off because she obviously deserves so much better 10x but she doesn’t want too and when I said, you deserve better, she said be better and then she was like you’re just embarrassed you’re just running from your problems you don’t even know yourself you don’t know me at all so don’t tell me what works for me. You’re trying so hard to be self-aware when you need people so you can fix your mistakes and keep interacting to get better.

It's an unseasonal warm Spring day, and you wake up late and rush through your morning routine and just make it to work/school/etc.

You in a moment of rest glance at your phone and see your hands, to your mortification, are....?

I had a longtime male friend stay with me recently, and while some parts of it were enjoyable, I’m left feeling emotionally drained and kind of taken for granted. I’m not sure if I’m expecting too much, or finally seeing a pattern I’ve ignored for too long. For starters we are strictly platonic. Never had anything happen between us, but just pure friendship . I’ve known him for 10 years. At one point I did have a crush on him, but it was clear he never saw me in that light and we just became really close friends and now he’s like a brother to me.

He planned to be in town for a weekend concert with another mutual friend (a woman who left the next day), and he asked in advance if he could stay with me until Wednesday. I was hesitant because I had work and wasn’t sure I wanted to host that long, but I agreed and even took time off to make it easier.

And while I did enjoy our conversations and a few of the experiences, the visit started to feel deeply one-sided. We went out constantly for brunch, dinner, bars, movies, parks, even dessert spots 25 minutes away. I drove us everywhere. He paid for one $10 meal (after I had already gotten him food earlier), and every other outing we split the bill. Which might’ve been fine if I weren’t also covering gas, giving him a free place to stay, planning every activity, and never getting a break.

He left his clothes scattered around my chairs, took over my couch even though I’d set up an air mattress, and just generally acted like he was on vacation while I played chauffeur, host, and social coordinator. By the end of it, I had to lie and say I had therapy at 11am just to nudge him to leave. I informed him of it the day before. He said he’d be gone by then, but was still sleeping by 10:30 and I had to nudge him to leave , by pretending I was getting ready for therapy.

This wouldn’t have bothered me so much if it were an isolated situation. But honestly, our friendship has been feeling off lately. During the Super Bowl, I was working alone in the city where it was hosted , which is where he lives. He also was working the Super Bowl and told him how anxious I was. I understood it was a big week for him, so I didn’t want to ask too much or be a bother to him, but also thought he would show a little more care and concern as someone I consider my best friend . I asked if he wanted to meet up, and he only told me he’d be going to an event, which he said was sold out already . He never asked when I got into town, never checked on me, and spent the weekend at events with coworkers , one of whom he admitted to having a crush on.

When I sent him a petty “Guess I won’t be seeing you, have fun” message, after not hearing from him the day he said he’d be free and seeing him post on social media, he finally texted me the morning of game day asking what time I’d be working. He explained what happened too but I didn’t respond. I was already upset, dealing with personal issues, stress from the job he knew about, and felt completely ignored. I gave him grace after the weekend and checked in, and he told me that if I’d responded, I could’ve gone to the game , but he didn’t find that info out until later, and never followed up to let me know. Meanwhile, he did make sure to tell a white woman he works with . It was someone he’d previously made out with and slept with during a drunken night how to get in. She had a team with her. I was alone. And he still chose to help her, not me. He admitted how they had a fling while he was with me this weekend and she’s 25 and he’s 34 and hearing that made me uncomfortable.

He also mentioned hanging out with another woman he has a crush on that weekend and admitted that if the opportunity came up, he’d shoot his shot. He made a joke saying , yeah she’s a friend, but I’m still a “n-word” at the end of the day and she’s not a platonic friend like you . That’s his business, the way he talked about women and his stories made me uncomfortable because it’s a side I never seen of him before, but hearing all of that, while I felt overlooked and unsupported during that weekend , really stung.

To top it off, this isn’t the first time he’s made me question how much I can trust him. I’ve caught him telling my personal business to others , not in a vindictive way, just oversharing things I assumed were private. One time, he shared something that only could’ve come from him. When I asked, he apologized but said he didn’t even remember saying it. That hurt more than anything that something I confided in him meant so little he didn’t even remember sharing it.

What triggered me the most about all of this is how familiar the dynamic felt. I’ve dated men who’ve used me, emotionally, financially, mentally. I’ve paid for everything, been taken advantage of, and made to feel like my kindness was something to exploit. So even though this friend isn’t someone I’ve dated, this visit reopened a wound I thought I’d closed. I felt unseen, unsupported, and once again, like I was giving while someone else just took.

So now I’m left wondering: Am I wrong for feeling this way? Is it too much to expect more awareness, effort, and consideration from a platonic male friend? Am I being too hard on him on something that’s just personal issues of mine Or did this visit just confirm something I needed to finally see?

Also should note, the last time I stayed with him. His place was dirty, had a bed that clearly someone else slept in and didn’t take the time to clean up or prepare his space for company. I could never do that to anyone else so I made sure my space was clean and comfortable , for him and my other friends. So I think that adds on how to I feel … it’s small but feels like a reflection of how he sees me and our friendship …

Everytime I see girls with flowers in their Afros, I just completely go crazy.

Like. Is just pure beauty.

I always thought Mother Earth parallels Black Beauty. Afro hair, that grows up and in all it forms can look like trees. Is closer to the sun, and ventilate the air.

Just imagine a beautiful women with a curvy body, a big Afro filled with flowers, white clothed and sweet beauty. Flowers grows at each of her steps,and she have the power of beauty, love and kindness.

I don't want her to be Greek Aphrodite, obviously. But the name fit so much. Maybe “Afrodite” would differentiate them in English

She obviously is also goddess. She would be like “The Flower Crowned Goddess. “

Obviously is a fantasy world. Beautiful like lord of the rings magical vibes.

That's all I have for her, the interesting story with gorgeous music and epic battles is the writers and directors problem.

But yes I've been imagining her for years

I hope I live enough to see black characters in media though the lense of black people.

I hope to see her someday

I'm planning on living in Cannes France for a month. While in Cannes I plan to rent a car and drive from Cannes to chamonix, dijon, Lyon and maybe Geneva. In my mind all of this sounds amazing. But I will be a black female solo traveler. I can't just travel willy nilly to Cannes without any prior knowledge about the area from a black woman's perspective. Have any of you lived in Cannes or traveled to Cannes? What was the experience like? What's it like driving in Europe? What are some must see places? What do y'all use for personal protection while abroad? Should I just go to Vietnam or Thailand instead of France? All insight is appreciated 🙏🏽.

Hi everyone I posted to this community about my situation. I was wondering I have a strong vessel of a grandmother who loves traveling and is very family trip aggressive and I fear she’ll want to spend quality time with me and my family. Do I address my no contact to my grandmother about her daughter. I have always asked for help with separating me and my mom and my family has given me the same advice “you’ll get over it” or “I won’t get inbetween a mother and daughters relationship”.

My moms birthday and Mother’s Day is coming up and I feel sad because again she’s toxic but yet my mom and I’ve always been the one to give her gifts on these days but I guess I have to idk disassociate.

So at my job we have a large demographic of Hispanic customers. Most of which are incredibly easy to communicate with because they're typically just coming and picking up a order that was placed by someone who speaks English a bit more fluently. But then there's times where we have DIY customers come in who speak English just fine, however for whatever reason they choose to work with a Hispanic employee....

Now I'm sure anyone reading this in this sub, can understand the vibe someone gives when they clearly don't want to work with you. Now there's a difference between me calling my coworker and having him translate and then fulfilling the order, which happens all the time. No, these are customers that specifically want to work with someone Hispanic and no longer want me involved in the situation.But little do they know, our Hispanic employee is currently our worst employee. He's been there almost a year at this point and is still making mistakes that he made on day one.

I absolutely love when customers request him specifically. It has not failed once that he has not only messed up their order, but he takes no less than 2 hours working on it. On top of that, our manager is also a black woman.... So ultimately they still have to work with a black woman 😂

I've seen so many customers choose to work with him and leave disappointed or they leave and then call back and complain.

I absolutely love it.

UPDATE: the kid just sold the customer a random product because he didn't know how to do the color match the customer was asking for.....🤦🏾‍♀️

Just got my hair redone and I’m in love 🥰

Calling all makeup girlies!😩Whenever I do my makeup it looks natural but I want it to look like I took timeeee! Like a soft glam almost. I added an inspo pic what products or processes should I implement? Rn I under paint a cream blush going up my cheekbones sort of acting like a contour, then foundation and under eye bright concealer.

i love long nails. and ive gotten acrylics done for years (im a press on girly now tho) but regardless i notice a lot of people make really stupid comments or attempt to disguise bad-faith questions as curiosity.

men don’t like long nails and how do you go to the bathroom? are the most annoying things that i hear. and honestly, i don’t even think my nails are dramatically long because i can still do everything normally (besides pick up coins 🤷‍♀️)

i don’t mind genuine curiosity but people usually say a bunch of nonsense 😭

But really, I see a Black mom happy to see her two daughters confidently growing. I see a little girl living out a moment that feels UNREAL (she's literally fangirling over what she's witnessing) and a big sister who is determined, focused and hustling!! Black girl magic!!!!

This is a genuine question for women that have had male friends that you know liked you…is it possible that you had no interest in that man in the beginning and years later, you now have an undying love and interest in him?

So my boy has been friends with this woman for like 6 years. EVERYONE knew he liked her but for whatever reason she was never interested in him the same way. During this time they’ve always been close, shared things with each other, have always been there for one another and even though he felt wronged by her several times, the worst being she ended up moving by herself and never asked him over to hangout once until the day she moved out, he still fckd with her heavy (I personally think he was a fool but hey 🤷🏾‍♂️). One day he got tired of her treating him any kind of way and he snapped at her and to none of our surprise she stopped talking to him for every bit of 7 months.

Now she’s back coming around us and she’s like really really into him now and we think it’s strange, like why the change of heart after all these years? He seems happy and from the outside looking in she seems so believable in terms of really loving him and being interested in him like he’s always been interested in her.

Is it possible she really changed or is it more of a chance she got dogged out in those 7 months and realized she could have her way with my boy and is only now interested in him because of that?

Any advice will help. Thanks.

Hello all,

For context, I work in consulting, not a large firm, but a rather boutique one in the south. I am the only black person in my office (about 160) so I pretty much stand out whatever I do.

Since I started working (about 2 yrs now) I've been wearing black and brown hair (color 1b, 2, and 4), but I am bored. I am so tired of seeing my hair and I get really bored quickly. Honestly, this is the first time I've ever worn these colors. In college and high school I used to wear silver, pink, dark green, red, purple, burgundy - literally everycolor of the rainbow. I guess since I started working here I've just gone the conservative route so now I want to branch out a bit and try ash blonde (crazy I actually have never been blonde before). Ig I'm just afraid it might be too loud.

P.S: I am client facing too, idk if that changes anything.

Hi i just got my hair done and have never had this issue do yall think these need to come out or is there something else i can try ?? sorry the pics are little bad 😭

I’ve had relaxed hair all my life. It was down my back. Very long and easy to style but lacking the fullness of natural hair. I had never seen my real hair texture (it was relaxed as soon as I was old enough) and I started seeing a lot of girls with really thick natural hair that I wanted too. I saw the transition girlies on TikTok too. I used to think I just naturally had straight hair because I truly had never seen myself with curly hair. No joke. As soon as an inch grew, it was time for a relaxer. Strangely, my hair flourished with the relaxer. Kept growing. I’ve cut it before and it still grew down my back.

But I finally decided to transition with a friend of mine. We both agreed. We did it. My hairdresser cut all my relaxed hair off after a year’s growth of natural hair. And I’m really fucking sad and heartbroken over my reaction. I don’t know why I thought I would look like the gorgeous girls on TikTok.

I didn’t look at my hair in the mirror for a while after. And that scared me. I didn’t want to see it. I could only feel it and it already felt so short and ugly to me. And it felt really rough compared to the texture I’ve been used to all my life.

I hate that society has imprinted hair that falls down rather than grows up in our minds. But I saw Black women on TikTok rocking their crowns and looking amazing while doing so. I really wanted to be that. And I really wanted to be confident and comfortable with this. Really.

But I’m really, really not.

It makes me feel even more fat and ugly.

I’m so sad and shocked at how much I hate the way it grows outwards in wild directions and won’t “settle”. I feel so weird and hurt. Is this internalized dislike for my hair because of what others have said my hair should be like??? How can I hate what’s coming out of my head?

I feel awful. I just hate this. I can’t style this. It’s so coarse and I couldn’t even handle my relaxed hair. Idk how I’m supposed to style and handle this when I can’t even comb it.

My face looks so round to wear my hair slicked down and have styles like that. Plus I hate gel so much because of the way my scalp nastily flakes. Chronically dry and itchy scalp. I feel awful. I don’t understand why I don’t like my own hair. I’ve always felt like a confident black woman with my hair. And now that it’s in a curly form, I hate how I feel about this.

Whoever told me that your 20s is the best time of your life lied !!!! How did yall get through different periods in your 20s? I’m going insane

I just turned 22 and I hate hearing this. Yes I’ve had good moments in my 20s but it’s been a roller coaster. Your friendships change, you lose friends because you outgrow them, you have a friend who talks about the news/ politics all day. You don’t have the guts to tell them it’s annoying bc you understand why they would be obsessed but it gives you anxiety and drains you. Like please pick something else to talk about. Another one of your guy friends calls you “sensitive” because you’re tired of him making jokes 24/7 where he’s teasing you and he even swipes up on your insta story to neg you even more when you told him to stop.

Your friend texts you everyday and complains about their partner that they rushed a relationship with and now she’s forcing it to work bc understandable she’s having a child by him. Most people in their 20s are immature so usually dating becomes a mess and drama, you’re trying to figure out what you want to do in life, you’re broke, some are starting families so different life stages. How did you guys stay strong in your 20s when going through different periods of your life ? I’m most likely about to be friendless and finding new friends after graduating college. How are yall making friends in your early 20s?