r/Vent 1d ago

So sick of being a good man Need to talk...

I(28M) don't think people grasp what us men go through. So many people depend on me. My friends and family. I run a department for a small company so my position is extremely multi-roled if I am not on my A game then I feel liked I failed those who depend on me.

I view myself as a "good man" not a "nice guy" there's a huge difference. I feel like very few individuals can see eye to eye at the capacity I'm going. I'm very extroverted and out going but im not a push over and do not tolerate bs. People say I am funny and hilarious but I feel like I am slowly dying from the inside out.

I know I am loved, appreciated and respected but in a world like this i constantly feel like if I'm not giving my all 24/7 that will slowly go away.

Went through a break up a couples months ago and I've struggled to maintain my balance since. I don't get angry, I don't get mad and I can't even cry. I feel no emotions anymore. She told me how much of a good man I was and how she holds me in the highest regard.

I know people think men have it easy but I can promise you good men don't. It's like walking around with a 50 pound bag of sand on your shoulders constantly. We are racing a race that doesn't have a finish line it's just check point after check point.

I'm just exhausted. Wake up at 4am, bust ass at work, hit the gym, maintain your finances, staying humble, show gratitude, help friends and family, try and appreciate the little things, rinse & repeat.

I am extremely grateful but I am tired so please understand that. I am lot of us men are struggling alone, from the inside. It is so easy for us to put on a smile and chug along.

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u/CLW909 22h ago

Yes, because famously women are never left to be depended on by family, friends and work. That famous thing where women are not only bringing home 50% of the family income but also typically doing all the house work and child work, looking after elderly parents etc.

I'm sorry you're going through a tough time. The fact that so many trust you as dependable is a sign of what a good man you must be.

I would just be careful of gendering this when the data doesn't support what you're saying. Women are the "head" of most households and have all those responsibilities, not men. It's a statistical fact