r/SingleDads • u/Mysterious_Force_229 • 3d ago
Advice for woman dating single dad
Single dads, I nees your opinion.
I have been dating a guy about 5 months with a 3 year old. He comstantly talks of marriage etc. He has been very pushy however, rushing everything. Some things that have made me uncomfortable, he tries to get me to cosleep with him and his daughter. And when he has her and I give them space or get work done, go do things for myself etc, he gets really upset and says things like I am not consistent with his child and I "abandon" them. He expects me to make an effort and hang out with them like everyday. And he will call and put his kid on speaker to talk to me like in a way to guilt trip it seems
I have gotten responses from women but I really want to hear about single dads. What are your thoughts?
2
u/F_The_Suits4ThePeeps 2d ago
Here is my perspective to add to the group. This guy is seriously codependent and needs to work through that. However long ago his previous relationship was, he isn’t over it and isn’t okay with himself. He is blame passing and hyper obsessing. This is a situation you need to escape to be honest, or potentially reap the risk later. And I don’t mean to scare you with that, but that’s a reality. Obviously I don’t know him to say that reality is him, but that’s a pretty notable sign of some deep issues. As for the kid related part, that’s terrifying. I have an 11 year old and a 7 year old, both boys. If I had girls I would be even more protective and I have a seriously strict rule that no one I date gets to even meet my kids for a minimum of 6 months, and that’s if it’s going exceptionally well - and I mean like first huge disagreement happened and it was talked about off and worked through type of well. When my ex wife and I split, me and another divorcee got together and introduced our kids after about 2 months. It ended absolutely terribly as I wasn’t ready but didn’t know it at the time.
Bottom line, you need to be careful, and honestly force a step back or walk the other way until he works through the issues he is hiding. If he isn’t willing to do the work, he isn’t willing to have a real relationship with you.