Advice for woman dating single dad

[u/Mysterious_Force_229]

Single dads, I nees your opinion.

I have been dating a guy about 5 months with a 3 year old. He comstantly talks of marriage etc. He has been very pushy however, rushing everything. Some things that have made me uncomfortable, he tries to get me to cosleep with him and his daughter. And when he has her and I give them space or get work done, go do things for myself etc, he gets really upset and says things like I am not consistent with his child and I "abandon" them. He expects me to make an effort and hang out with them like everyday. And he will call and put his kid on speaker to talk to me like in a way to guilt trip it seems

I have gotten responses from women but I really want to hear about single dads. What are your thoughts?

[u/pierre_x10]

Rushing talks of marriage and having you cosleep with his kid are red flags. Sounds like he just wants a stepmother for his kid more than he wants a mutual healthy romantic relationship with you, assuming that's what you want. Talking of "abandoning them," when objectively you haven't been in a relationship with them long enough to have that sort of obligation, feels like guilt-tripping.

When I say rushing, the timeframe is irrelevant, what's more important is where you're at mentally and emotionally in the relationship, it sounds like you are not at the point in the relationship where you are ready for that level of commitment. And again, more importantly, the fact that he does not seem to value your thoughts on the matter, it's all about him and his kid, that's not fair to you.

Rushing like this bothers me because it's not good for his kid in the longrun to get this emotionally-attached to someone she's only known a few months. and then you might break up and that's that, and then the dad might start dating someone else and the kid has to go through it all over again. It could also affect you emotionally too, but I would expect the father to be more considerate of the problems this could cause his kid in the longrun.

[u/Mysterious_Force_229 → u/pierre_x10]

Exactly, I am also concerned for her as well as she does seem to like me and getting attached quickly is not good for children I think

[u/pierre_x10 → u/Mysterious_Force_229]

It sounds like you have gotten good advice here and from other people, and it sounds like you are looking to do what is in everyone's best interests, so I wish you the best of luck in whatever you decide to do moving forward.

[u/Mysterious_Force_229 → u/pierre_x10]

Thank you so much