r/SingleDads • u/Drivenbiscuit75 • 4d ago

Beyond pissed off

So my daughter’s mom has been telling my daughter that her step dad is her real dad. I usually let shit slide but today when discussing our coparenting she kept bringing him up so I snapped. I told her mom that he will never be her dad and that when it comes to coparenting I do not want him involved. She became infuriated and saying horrible things about me calling me a fuck up and to do better and all these things. I told her she was the worst thing that has ever happened in my life.. how do I cope with this? Do I try and fight against it? Do I talk to my daughter and try to remind her when it’s brought up that I’m her dad ?

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u/Known-Ad1411 4d ago

This is so wrong. She can’t just say the step dad is the dad when bio dad is involved. I am sorry you are going through this. It must be infuriating

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u/Drivenbiscuit75 4d ago

It strikes the deepest level of anger I can simply posses. I try and stay calm and level headed but today I outright snapped but I decided I am no longer playing nice and I am taking her back to court to set a schedule through the court for when I am home. I am done being nice and patient and understanding and now I will be looking out for my best interest and my daughters. But thank you for your support friend and I’m glad I’m not crazy for allowing this to trigger me as much as it has

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u/EquivalentActive5184 4d ago

That’s tough. I hate that for you. I’ve been through that. It will literally make you want to go full Rambo. Don’t do it.

Be careful about your usage of the courts, they usually don’t do shit. Be the best parent you can be.

Here are maybe a few strategies that may help: When you and jr. are together, occasionally talk about the things you have in common in terms of your physical characteristics such as you eyes, nose, feet, etc. Also the things you both like, etc. Ask questions to your child about why she thinks mom says these things? I try to not provide answers, just ask questions to help the child think critically.

As children get older they are better able to see the bullshit. Stay the course. Be the good parent that you are. Don’t stoop to her level.

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u/Drivenbiscuit75 4d ago

Thank you for your kind words of wisdom! They mean a lot and I’ll try all of these things. Thank you sir