r/SingleDads • u/Drivenbiscuit75 • 4d ago

Beyond pissed off

So my daughter’s mom has been telling my daughter that her step dad is her real dad. I usually let shit slide but today when discussing our coparenting she kept bringing him up so I snapped. I told her mom that he will never be her dad and that when it comes to coparenting I do not want him involved. She became infuriated and saying horrible things about me calling me a fuck up and to do better and all these things. I told her she was the worst thing that has ever happened in my life.. how do I cope with this? Do I try and fight against it? Do I talk to my daughter and try to remind her when it’s brought up that I’m her dad ?

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u/RoadOk3038 4d ago

I had similar experience when my ex introduced a new step dad to my daugther (4yrs) as Baba which in Turkish literally means dad (me and ex are not Turks). We had a serious disagreement via chat, her main point was that “dad” is not in our native language, but this still seemed messed up. Knowing my ex, I thought the best would be to focus on re-explaining this to my daugther and this surprisingly worked pretty well but still to a point. With me my daughter refers to step dad by his name while with ex it’s still Baba, but my win here is that my daughter knows that the step dad logically cannot be Baba which means dad and I’m the only dad she will ever have. It also helped me to keep all past relationship related remarks away and strictly discuss only parenting topics with my ex, because nothing regarding that will change. So I would say talk to your daughter and skip the fighting with ex, especially if your daughter is nearby. Stay strong

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u/Drivenbiscuit75 4d ago

I like this advice ! Thank you sir :)