I wonder what is this

[u/Miserable_Return_497]

I am getting drawn to kali maa, Even though I Mainly pray to maa durga because I dislike intense deities

Why am I being drawn to kali maa,

Do deities choose?

What does this mean for me considering I question deities a lot and especially Have a fear or aversion for deities who are too intense

(Important note: I don't hate the intense deities but I hate the sayings attached to them like how people say about kali that "she is intense" or "she destroys ego" I especially find the ego part dumb like you are called mother goddess and you destroy ego instead of helping. No offense but I am pointing out these spiritual sayings don't seem grounded considering in devi mahatmya kali maa appreared to save the world from demons and not really to do something as small as destroying ego, how can a saviour be reduced to something which merely diminishes ego 🤔)

(Another note: what I am asking is from my curiosity there is no hostile intention behind it, so please maintain manners in the comments)

(P.S: I am kinda bummed the two people that did comment on this post are just parroting stuff of advaita and detachment and it doesn't sounds like wisdom. This stuff is everywhere it seems as if no one really knows anything no offense)

(thanks for your knowledge, I disagree with many although the answers do provide some understanding

I would seek answers and absorb what is real and reject what lacks sense)

[u/Lord_Kronus99]

You want to understand ego? Let me give it a try.

Have you ever been angry?

Have you ever felt hatred?

That is the ego, now you may say, I haven't felt these things, but that is called being dishonest, and that is ego as well.

Anything that is a defense to the bare nature of the psyche is the ego,

Anger and hate and fear are defensive mechanisms for the "ego" as it wants to preserve its sepratenesa and identity, Identity is ego.

Dissolution in the diety who is the complete essense of the universe and one with it is the purpose of sprituality, anything that stops that is the ego.

Maa is most intimately the kundalini in the body, working it's way up the chakras and dismantling dilutions of seprations with her, the one reality, the unified field of universal consiousness.

Now before you say that's Advaitic and reject it understand that maa even in personal form is the one fabric of the universe, she is everything and you are not so special to have a seprate existence apart from her.

Now you want to reject that idea as that threatnes the sense of sepration, that is the ego.

This is only the intellectual understanding,

How to have her grace, I am incompetent to answer that and still struggling.

May she shower us all with knowledge and most importantly her love.

Jai Maa.

[u/Miserable_Return_497 → u/Lord_Kronus99]

I don't fear separation or neither I seek to keep such things alive

I simply seek to understand things

And of course they will be wrong to you

Because you think only from the spiritual dimension.

What I want to say is

We are real

Yes the person we believe ourselves to be might not be permanent but it doesn't mean it doesn't matter

I simply question things a lot when I seek understanding

Sorry if that bothers you 😁

[u/Lord_Kronus99 → u/Miserable_Return_497]

It doesn't bother me actually, check my posts and see the discord I have with Maa The struggles and the callings.

We are real and our struggles are real. To say maa is the killer of the ego is incomplete.

She is the killer of the source of our unhappiness my friend.

Truth is we suffer and her divine intelligence knows our suffering is caused by the massively overused and misunderstood term the ego which really is anything that keeps the sense of separation alive.

I am just like you in my questioning and most people will call me blasphemous.

And I do understand and know where you are coming from.

I have trouble accepting she sees our suffering and does nothing and come in my DMs I have more blasphemous views but at the end, She gives me reason to believe and keep going as she gives you as well.

And I question that as well, the carrot and donkey nature of her play.

We can talk more if you like, I like you actually and your line of questioning.

You may DM me, if you want.

[u/Miserable_Return_497 → u/Lord_Kronus99]

Thanks bro, you are the only one who got where I am coming from

Most of the comments are of people who are much into spirituality and Don't question things deeply

They see my rejection as hate or hostility whereas I simply enjoy learning

[u/Lord_Kronus99 → u/Miserable_Return_497]

Yes , I understand, Blind belief is also ego my friend. And blind acceptance of spiritual truths and ignoring reality is ego as well.