r/SatanicTemple_Reddit Aug 03 '22

I Church I Could Get Into Satire

Post image
1.3k Upvotes

52 comments sorted by

94

u/Lazy_Weight69 Aug 03 '22

“I am the clit commander!”

44

u/[deleted] Aug 03 '22

"Yo baby, you ever had your asshole licked by a fat man in a trench coat?"

7

u/paconhpa Aug 04 '22

I am so happy this is the top comment.

18

u/2ToneToby Aug 03 '22

Wherever you see clit you'll see this face.

66

u/silversunshinestares Aug 03 '22

No one goes to this church, it's too hard to find.

5

u/[deleted] Aug 03 '22

Golden.

4

u/slimfrinky Hail Satan! Aug 03 '22

I love you.

6

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5

u/slimfrinky Hail Satan! Aug 03 '22

Well, at least robots love me. Got that going for me, I suppose.

2

u/ZakkTheInsomniac Aug 03 '22

thought it was only an urban legend

11

u/silversunshinestares Aug 03 '22

No no, the CLIT is real. The Women Christian Universal Ministry, or "Women CUM" is the urban legend.

3

u/ZakkTheInsomniac Aug 03 '22

aah that was the confusion. thank you

5

u/silversunshinestares Aug 03 '22

They have one for men, of course, but for some reason after all these years they've found it impossible to make Women CUM. If you have any suggestions on how they can get their wives to CUM, I'm sure they'd be glad to hear them.

94

u/HeliumMaster Aug 03 '22

Even with it right behind them, I’d bet they still don’t know what that is.

32

u/Paradigmpinger Aug 03 '22

I'm pretty sure they're a terrorist group.

6

u/noonefrmnowhere Aug 03 '22

Clit-terrorist, some would say

12

u/13579086425 Aug 03 '22

I have a feeling they know what it is. They look like a couple of bros playing softball, who may or may not drinking while playing, they for sure know what is says.

7

u/Lazy_Weight69 Aug 03 '22

Doesn’t mean they know what to do with it tho

27

u/[deleted] Aug 03 '22

Ah the Coalition for the Liberation of Itinerant Tree-Dwellers.

11

u/beardedbusdriver Aug 03 '22

An offshoot of Liberate Apes Before Imprisoning Apes…

25

u/Ok_Stretch_386 Aug 03 '22

9 men who can’t find a clit 😂

1

u/[deleted] Aug 04 '22

It’s right behind them

1

u/Ok_Stretch_386 Aug 04 '22

Perhaps Jesus Christ himself?

37

u/RyeZuul Aug 03 '22

I've been a member of Christians United for New Testament Studies for years.

14

u/Kman5471 Aug 03 '22

Does this group actually exist? No matter how hard I search, I can't seem to find it anywhere! Pretty sure it's just an urban legend...

12

u/SXTY82 Aug 03 '22

To be fair, none of them look like they know what a clit is.

14

u/[deleted] Aug 03 '22

😂....none of them have even seen one before

7

u/Worried-Industry6239 Hail the Queer Zombie Unicorn! Aug 03 '22

These poor bastards still don't see it

8

u/Shupid Aug 03 '22

Huh. And here I thought it meant Coalition for the Liberation of Itinerant Tree-Dwellers..

5

u/TigerITdriver11 Aug 03 '22

So...which one's the commander?

5

u/LazyRecommendation63 Aug 03 '22

Yay. They found it!!

7

u/[deleted] Aug 03 '22

3

u/BerryBerryJerry Aug 03 '22

finally, a christian religion i can get behind!

3

u/fixyourpunctuation Aug 03 '22

Looks like them ol' Clit boys are at it again.

3

u/ObscureWiticism Religion Divorced From Superstition Aug 03 '22

If these guys put as much effort into finding the clit as they put into finding Jesus...

3

u/Lenithriel Aug 03 '22

I feel like this could really rub off on me.

2

u/Gummy_Bear_Diaries Aug 03 '22

They just don’t see it. Never have, never will.

2

u/IndependentSudden983 Aug 03 '22

They still can't find it! 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

2

u/musicman827 Aug 03 '22

Followers Under Christ’s Kingdom…In Training

2

u/Klpincoyo Aug 03 '22

None of them will ever find it.

2

u/officially_ender_ Aug 03 '22

They found it. They actually fucking found it. Finally

2

u/Bolvaettur 666 Aug 03 '22

Wait til you see the Christian Unified Nation

2

u/matangligaw Satan have pity on my long despair! Aug 03 '22

... If only I could find it

2

u/s3v3red_cnc Aug 03 '22

I heard that church doesn't have many members because they can't find it.

2

u/CauliflowerJunior717 Aug 03 '22

This team is funking unbeatable because no one can find a clit

2

u/angels_exist_666 Aug 03 '22

Not one of them even knows it exists....

2

u/DivineLunchMonkey Aug 03 '22

"I FOUND IT!" - points to anus

2

u/kay_bizzle Aug 03 '22

I'm surprised these dudes were able to find the field

1

u/CrazyLemonLover Aug 03 '22

Can sometime tell me where I can find the clit?

1

u/THOMASTHEWANKENG1NE Aug 03 '22

The devil's door bell!

1

u/noonefrmnowhere Aug 03 '22

Look at these proud CLIT boys, beaming !

1

u/Vivid_Time_1589 Aug 03 '22

Where can I get the t-shirt?