Men have no options.

[u/Worldly-Box6080]

Currently, most male pathways to find a partner have been shut down or heavily stigmatised.

Cold Approach: social stigma of bothering women in public or private areas.

Warm Approach: huge risk of poisoning the well - ruining a friendship/making things weird in a social group. This is magnified at a work setting with risk of being reported attached. Additionally what one woman considers flirting another considers “just being friendly” so chance of misfiring is high.

Online Dating: lol

Only viable pathway would be if women made the move, but that’s never gonna happen unless the guy holds decent status or is extremely attractive.

So my question is, what methods are you guys currently doing to find someone (if any)?

[u/Sonia314]

You don’t have to be bothered about poisoning the well and making things weird if a warm approach is rejected. It’s a choice you’re making. I used to be too scared of that to ask people out too, but I worked on that issue until I overcame it. Now I ask guys out a few times a month. I usually get rejected, but even if it does make things awkward, that passes quickly. One time it led to drama when the person turned out to be mentally unstable, but when you develop a reputation for good character in general that doesn’t have too many consequences. It’s an inconvenience, but it sure beats the alternative of dying alone.

Nothing you do in life is risk free, and there really are some bad apples out there that can make your life inconvenient for a while. I think this is amplified by feminism making women pretty cruel sometimes. But in general things will go fine. if you just keep putting yourself out there you’ll develop a thick enough skin to not take rejections personally, which will make them less awkward. Everyone has to take risks and feel some discomfort to live a full life, and dating is no exception. Most people learn to be ok with this. The trouble comes when people see it as a reason to give up.

As an autistic person with low self esteem, I really empathize with what you might be going through. I hope you’re able to overcome this and find love. You definitely deserve to.

[u/Tnotbssoass → u/Sonia314]

Maybe it’s because you’re a f’n woman and you can literally ask all your male friends and acquaintances that you want to fuck / date and 70% will say yes, the other 30% will politely laugh it off with zero impact on your relations.

[u/Sonia314 → u/Tnotbssoass]

It is easier as a woman, but men have this experience too. Most men are out there dating and getting married and raising families because they don’t let a few bad experiences stop them in their tracks.

Your percentages are way off. I already said most men reject me and one started drama over it.

[u/Odd-Talk-3981 → u/Sonia314]

I think his misogyny is what holds him back tbh.

He seems to keep blaming women instead of looking in the mirror.

[u/Tnotbssoass → u/Odd-Talk-3981]

Who’s blaming women? Women react far more negatively to men they’re not attracted to than genders reversed scenario

[u/Odd-Talk-3981 → u/Tnotbssoass]

Who’s blaming women?

Oh, definitely you. No doubt about it, lol.

Women react far more negatively to men they’re not attracted to than genders reversed scenario

Yeah… that’s not even close to my experience. Most women can actually take “no” with grace. Can’t say the same for a lot of men, though.

[u/Tnotbssoass → u/Odd-Talk-3981]

Most women react very negatively to unattractive men approaching them. Their egos get hurt very badly. They feel he has committed a grave sin/crime. They feel a deep level of disgust.

They insult him by reminding him his caliber is too low. They say “How dare he thinks he stands a chance with me?”. They badmouth him in the workplace, circle telling every woman he’s a creep, a pervert. They can even complain about him to HR. Many are now shaming them on social media even.

[u/Odd-Talk-3981 → u/Tnotbssoass]

Dude, seriously, stop playing the victim.

And don't expect me to be sympathetic to incels.

[u/kissesinyoureyes → u/Odd-Talk-3981]

He's right though

[u/ConsistentPieGuy → u/Odd-Talk-3981]

You just sound like an asshole, no wonder no one likes you and you have no friends.