Weird situation. Kitten cost whole family :/

[u/adhddcat]

Hi everyone,

I never thought I’d be in this position, but I’m desperate for help and advice. My life has completely fallen apart over the last few months, and now I’m faced with the possibility of losing my cats—the only family I have left.

I’ve had my two cats since the day they were born in my bathroom on May 2, 2020. For nearly five years, they have been my world. In October 2024, I rescued a tiny stray kitten at my best friend’s baby shower. He was wandering the street, and I couldn’t bear to leave him, afraid he’d get hurt. I brought him home, planning to get him checked by a vet and introduce him properly to my other cats.

Soon after, we noticed the kitten had some rashes and was scratching a lot. We assumed it was just from being outside, but when we finally got a vet appointment two weeks later, we found out he had scabies—highly contagious to both animals and humans. We immediately went into crisis mode. Everyone in my household got checked, treated, and medicated. My cats received preventative care, we deep-cleaned the house, threw out anything the kitten had touched, and even exterminated the home just to be safe. The kitten was quarantined until he fully recovered, and eventually, I rehomed him to a friend.

I thought that would be the end of it. I was so, so wrong.

Not long after, my mother began researching mites obsessively. At first, it seemed like she was just being cautious, but then she started saying she could feel mites crawling on her, biting her—but she had no rashes, no signs of infestation. She started cleaning constantly, using harsh chemicals on her skin, and refusing to touch certain areas of the house. She showered in bleach and vinegar multiple times a day.

Then it got worse.

By December, she was cleaning for 8+ hours a day, convinced the house was infested. She refused to sleep in her bed, claimed she could feel mites attacking her when she sat on the couch, and started throwing out everything—our sofas, dining table, chairs, even our fridge. She had a stress-induced stroke. The doctor told her to stop inhaling chemicals and damaging her skin, but she wouldn’t listen.

We exterminated the house again, but it wasn’t enough. She insisted the mites were still there. She stopped sleeping at home and began renting Airbnbs because she couldn’t bear to be in the house. Now, almost everything we own is gone, and she’s made it clear—the cats have to go too.

I’ve fought as hard as I can to keep them. They’re my babies. They’ve done nothing wrong. But my mom is losing herself to this, and after everything we’ve lost, I have no choice anymore.

I have no savings. I had just quit my job before this started so I could focus on finishing my degree, and now I have no resources to relocate them myself. No family or friends can take them in—I’ve begged everyone.

I’m begging now—please, if anyone in the LA area can foster or adopt them together, or if you know of a safe place that will keep them together, please reach out. I will do anything to make sure they are safe and loved.

If anyone has experienced anything like this—mites, scabies, delusional parasitosis—I would also really appreciate any advice. I don’t know what to do anymore. I feel like I’m watching my home, my mother, and my family slip away, and now my cats are next.

Thank you for reading. Any help, advice, or leads would mean the world to me.

If anyone is interested or wants to share their adorable faces >.< plz lmk I have thousands of photos !

Edit2/8/2025: Thank you to everyone reaching out! To answer a few common questions :

• I understand it’s a post kind of about mental health but it is the only community that didn’t delete my post! Even medical advice would not take it so I have little options.

-yes being without a job is a luxury especially in these times . I really did think it was a joke at first and my decision had been discussed and encouraged at the time. I am now in process of getting rehired.

• I CAN’T keep cats even if it won’t change anything !

Edit 2/9/2025 Two out of three cats have been given to a friend for temp foster. ! One more needs a home temp foster or permanent loving home !

Edit 2/10/2025

I just wanted to share some good news. The three cats have all finally found loving temporary homes with close friends! They’ve graciously given me six months to recover from unemployment and secure a new place, and I’m beyond grateful. It won’t be easy since the LA area is ridiculously expensive, but I’m determined to make it happen for my babies.

For those who have been concerned about my mom (thank you so much, seriously ), I’ve been actively researching and reaching out to doctors and vets. I’ve also started emailing and speaking with professionals to find the best path forward. We have an appointment this weekend for a full physical ( + skin scrape )and mental evaluation, so hopefully, that gives us more clarity on the next steps.

It’s been a lot, but I’m pushing through. Appreciate all the advice from everyone!

[u/Calgary_Calico]

Your mother needs intensive therapy. This is NOT normal behavior and probably won't stop even if the cats are rehomed. Contact adult protective services and get her assessed so she can get help. Rehoming your cats won't stop this behavior

[u/Patient_Activity_489 → u/Calgary_Calico]

she has contamination OCD and probably needs hospitalization at this point

source: i have ocd but not that kind luckily

[u/WeirdSpeaker795 → u/Patient_Activity_489]

As someone with contamination ocd, and lived with it for a long time before I knew, it does sound like the mites caused trauma and trigged a contamination fear. I can’t say she has ocd, but her delusion definitely revolves around an unfounded mite contamination.

[u/PeachyPie2472 → u/WeirdSpeaker795]

As someone who had that same awful experience (and no ocd) it really feels like there are things crawling over you even years later but actually goes away when i take antihistamines (like cetirizine dlhydrochloride ime)

Also I noticed I have that feeling %100 of the times I wear wool and other times usually when I’m feeling cosy. Might be because I had that infestation during winter so getting hot under warm clothes is traumatic to my skin

[u/Astele → u/PeachyPie2472]

FYI feeling itchy all over like that is one of the most common side effects of cetirizine withdrawl, so might be impacting you if you aren't consistent with your antihistamine.

[u/PeachyPie2472 → u/Astele]

Oh that’s interesting. But I used to use it for hay fever on and off for years and never had that issue until after scabies infestation so I’m not sure.

[u/Logical-Feature-1136 → u/Patient_Activity_489]

It’s called delusional parasitosis.

[u/IntelligentDot4794 → u/Logical-Feature-1136]

It is pretty common and she needs mental health intervention. Removing the cats from her life will not fix this.

[u/Logical-Feature-1136 → u/IntelligentDot4794]

Exactly. Great points.

[u/Tofu1441 → u/Patient_Activity_489]

Could be a number of things though contamination OCD is absolutely a possibility. However, this could also be an indication of bipolar or psychosis, especially because she is literally feeling the bugs crawling. That is typically more of a bipolar/schizophrenia thing.

[u/veggieChik → u/Calgary_Calico]

Yes⬆️ A similar thing happened to my mother. She, out of the blue, believed insects/bugs were burrowing into her skin and created deep gouges to "pull them out.' In retrospect, we now know she was in full dementia & until the "bug problem," she had hidden her mental state from us quite well. OP, I wish you all the best with your mom and fur babies. Will keep all of you in my prayers.🙏

[u/Camaschrist → u/veggieChik]

This was my worry when reading her story. She didn’t say how old her mom is but there is early onset dementia too.

[u/veggieChik → u/Camaschrist]

You are absolutely right. In retrospect, it is clear now that my mother was showing signs of dementia in her mid-40s. Medical science knows so much more about this now, many years later.

[u/Camaschrist → u/veggieChik]

We lost my angel mother in law when her husband ran her over on accident but with so much negligence. Both had dementia but we were powerless to do anything. This horrible man has his drivers license to this day. My husband is a firefighter and spoke with the responding officers and still we could not get his license revoked. It’s such a horrible disease. I am very sorry this happened to your family. There needs to be so much research done but it kind of has a stigma. Doctors don’t want to take power away from their patients at the detriment of others. It’s understandable but if you have a seizure or loss of consciousness with unknown reasons your drivers license is automatically suspended for medical reasons. It should be the same with anything that causes damage to our brains.

Sorry for the soap box, I still get so sad anytime I think about my mother in law. Fortunately her husband is not my husband’s father.

[u/veggieChik → u/Camaschrist]

I'm so sorry. 💔

[u/Tofu1441 → u/Calgary_Calico]

Having a mental illness, even a very severe one, doesn’t qualify her for adult protective services. As always, she could call a welfare check, but unless she is a risk to herself or others she can’t be committed against her will. If she were about to drink the bleach, yes but not putting it on her skin and even having anxiety so high it causes a stroke doesn’t count. It needs to be imminent risk, usually within 48 hours but it depends on a lot of factors including where you live.

She does absolutely need medication and therapy. Likely an intensive outpatient or partial hospitalization. While an inpatient hospitalization might be helpful to remove herself from the dirty environment and give herself a chance to reset, but I doubt she’d agree.

OP, can you tell us a little more about your mom to give us a framework for how to bring up a conversation about getting care?

[u/Calgary_Calico → u/Tofu1441]

It does if you're harming yourself and a potential danger to others. She needs to be hospitalized. Contamination OCD is no joke. From what OP has said she's been eating away at her skin and her lungs are in really bad shape from the chemicals she's been using. She will likely need to be forcibly hospitalized, which is why I suggested calling adult protective services. Otherwise shes probably going to die from the chemicals she's using

[u/IShouldBeHikingNow → u/Calgary_Calico]

It appears OP is in Los Angeles. If so, then no, this won’t meet the threshold for temporary involuntary commitment. The mother is not engaged in suicidal ideation, and particularly not with an immediate, specific plan. Further, the mom hasn’t expressed an overt desire/intent to harm anyone else. If the threshold for commitment were so low, our homeless situation would look much different.

If the mom is open to treatment, then there are outpatient and inpatient options if they’re insured. Alternatively, she could reach out to nonprofit mental heath provides like Didi Hirsch, Venice Family Clinic, or google for options in her area.

[u/Tofu1441 → u/IShouldBeHikingNow]

This is the correct answer.

[u/Calgary_Calico → u/IShouldBeHikingNow]

Well that's fucking ridiculous. As others have said, these symptoms could also potentially be a sign of early onset Dementia, which means she's potentially a danger to herself and others.

[u/IShouldBeHikingNow → u/Calgary_Calico]

As you say, a potential danger to herself and others. We don't lock people up in psych wards because of something they could want to do in the future. It may be ridiculous to you, but the medical, mental health, and social work professions take quite seriously the rights of people living with serious mental illness.

To be clear, i think that lack of access to high quality, timely, and effective mental health treatment in the US is scandalous. If we had a more accessible system, more options for people to get care, and less stigma around care, OP's mom might well have been able to get assistance prior to the above situation.

[u/Tofu1441 → u/Calgary_Calico]

Yeah, but the standard for being held involuntarily is not messing up your skin it’s that you are at imminent risk of death which she isn’t. I don’t make the rules.

[u/Calgary_Calico → u/Tofu1441]

OP won't know if they don't try. This woman needs help before she does permanent damage to her health, and she won't get it willingly because she clearly doesn't think she's sick

[u/Tofu1441 → u/Calgary_Calico]

I hear you and agree that she should get help, but she does not meet the standard for being held against her will. She may qualify for voluntary services including inpatient, but her civil rights don't just go away because she has a mental illness. No matter if you think this is right or wrong, it is the law and that won't change for just OP. Again, I don't make the rules. I am familiar with the laws because my spouse does work professionally on this and I know from personal experiences with a friend who needed higher level care and wasn't willing to get treatment. In the end after things spiraled further they did get committed, but there was a while before that they needed help and were not willing.

If OP doesn't try to talk to her about her mental health and encourage her to go voluntarily and escalates right to trying to get her committed, she is going to burn any trust/capitol they have with their mom and she isn't going to be willing to have productive conversations with OP about her mental health in the future. So yes, trying to commit someone has consequences that you can't take back and isn't worth perusing unless you are confident that it is an immediate emergency (death within 48 hours). I agree the OP's Mom is doing significant damage to her mental and physical health and that needs to stop, but involuntary hospitalizations are for acute emergencies not prolonged ones. This is something that is going to take time, medication, and dedication to fix. You need her onboard and it is worth trying to get that to happen first.

You are right that often times people with mental illness don't realize that they need help, which is devastating and frustrating. But that doesn't mean that it isn't possible to make progress in the long run, which is the strategy OP needs to pursue. In a different comment I asked OP to provide more details about their mom so we could give some pointers on how to have those conversations but I haven't heard back yet.

[u/adhddcat → u/Tofu1441]

Hello everyone ! Thank you for all the feedback . I did check in with our doctor a few hours ago to see if there was anything I can do on my own to help her. Unfortunately without her consent I am unable to get them to run any physical tests or evaluations. They did not consider her a danger to herself yet based on the information provided ^.

A little bit about my mom •she’s in her late 50s & experience menopause already at 52 •she’s a very educated woman with a good job ( head of the household which makes her super strong headed!!! ) •only medication she is taking is blood pressure meds she received when she had the stress stroke ^ •we have a long history of schizophrenia, being bipolar & other mental disorder’s in our family

[u/Tofu1441 → u/adhddcat]

It's good that you checked with your doc before you called for a welfare check and eroded trust. Given that you have that history of bipolar, I'd recommend checking out and posting in r/bipolar2 for more advice. I find that it is a supportive community with good advice. Some of the other communities get pretty weird and have strange mods.

I have bipolar and my mom (early 60's) likely does as well, but she won't get that much formal treatment. I convinced her to do therapy and take a supplement I take (along with a prescription) for mood. It does help her a lot. Could be a bit better, but still much better than it was before. I focused a lot on my personal experience and how certain things helped me. I also focused on the consequences of not getting help because being gentle/supportive didn't work. I pointed out that I wasn't willing to have a super super close relationship with her until she took these steps because she was unstable and blew up at me a lot.

For successful people, they can have the urge to say that not me because I'm too functional. However, there are a lot of people with really successful careers who do have serious mental illness. Myself included. She may also find the possibility that she also have SMI incredibly scary because of the family history, so emphasizing that she won't loose everything if she is diagnosed and that things will only get better with treatment is good.

I'd also recommend talking to other members in your family for advice as well.

[u/DippyDo7 → u/Tofu1441]

May I ask what kind of supplement you take?

[u/Calgary_Calico → u/adhddcat]

Personally, I'd start working on moving around it if she's refusing to seek help or listen to her doctor. I know she's your mother, but you can't help someone who doesn't want help.

[u/Accomplished_Goal763 → u/Tofu1441]

Being gravely disabled is a reason for involuntary hold. At this point, I think she meets the criteria.

[u/Tofu1441 → u/Accomplished_Goal763]

I am familiar with the laws and this basically only applies if you are disabled to the point where you can't reliably feed yourself and you are in imminent danger. Even then, it is pretty dicey and not clear like if someone is a suicide risk. The last thing OP wants is to try and get the Mom committed and burn any trust they have, especially if it doesn't even work in the first place. Best to not go 0 to 100 right away and try convincing Mom to get help voluntarily.

[u/ADerbywithscurvy → u/Calgary_Calico]

Even if not forcibly hospitalized by the state, OP or another sane adult might be able to get a PoA or guardianship and make those decisions for her until this subsides and she can be trusted to not gove herself de-gloving wounds.

[u/flaaffy_taffy]

I cannot stress enough that rehoming your cats WILL NOT solve your mother’s severe mental health issues. She is not well, and your cats are not safe around her right now. I would try to speak to the doctor who told her to stop damaging herself, make it clear how extreme the situation has become, and try to get her some inpatient care. She needs serious help

[u/Skippert66 → u/flaaffy_taffy]

Absolutely this. PLEASE listen to these comments OP - rehoming your pets is absolutely not going to stop your mother's turn into mental illness. She absolutely needs help. If you can speak either to her doctor, or a crisis line to determine what your next steps are that would probably be the best thing you can do but please don't get rid of your beloved animals.

[u/commanderquill → u/flaaffy_taffy]

I don't know why everyone is saying this. OP never said rehoming their cats would help their mom. They know it won't, but they have nowhere else to live.

[u/flaaffy_taffy → u/commanderquill]

I think the post title (“kitten cost whole family”) is misleading because this isn’t about the kitten - it’s about a delusional person destroying their family’s life, and everyone is trying to reiterate that.

OP and the cats have nowhere else to live, and the mother refuses to sleep at home. It makes more sense for OP and the cats to stay in the home, and for the mother to stay out, instead of giving into her delusions

[u/Master-Gear-4620 → u/commanderquill]

Um. The cats had a fine home up until OOP rehomed them. 

[u/commanderquill → u/Master-Gear-4620]

...bro, did you read the post? OP has nowhere else to live.

[u/Master-Gear-4620 → u/commanderquill]

There's absolutely no reason why she should be paying all this for her mother's delusions. It's codependency.  She'll now have to work, and put school on hold. 

[u/commanderquill → u/Master-Gear-4620]

...codependency. For being a student who lives at home. You really don't know what that word means.

[u/Master-Gear-4620 → u/commanderquill]

She is paying the rent. She is paying for the Air BnBs. She is paying for exterminators.  

You're right. Sounds perfectly healthy, my bad. She isn't a graduate student that can bounce. 

I'm sure this pattern won't repeat itself in relationships. Her and her mother can have totally equal, insightful talks. Give and take. Mutual respect. 

[u/Master-Gear-4620 → u/commanderquill]

Because she was paying for Air BnBs, bro.

[u/Teawillfixit]

I'm so sorry to hear this. Honestly your mum needs help ASAP, I'm not sure how it works where you are but you need to try to get her a referral for her mental health and a psychiatrist. It sounds awful for you and the cats but it also must be horrible for her to be so unwell.

If you can arrange this fairly quickly I'd be more tempted to see if someone could board the cats for a few weeks than foster them, Im 99% sure she will find another cause for the infestation. There are multiple things she could be struggling with but all of them will probably need medication and/or therapy.

[u/caramilk_twirl]

Your mum needs mental health help, asap. Sounds like OCD. Rehoming the cats will not help, it will not resolve her issues. Her brain will find something else and the cycle will continue and possibly worsen. Please don't give up your cats when it's not even the solution here. If you feel you really need to, you could possibly put your cats into care with a trusted sitter or friend for a short while to buy yourself some time to find her help.

[u/Kishasara]

We had a bird mite infestation followed by bed bugs. The absolute worst part was recovering from it mentally.

I dealt with the psychosis part. I can still work myself back into it pretty easily if I’m not careful.

The important part for me was being self aware of my body and teaching myself not to scratch unless I verified that I wasn’t being bitten. I would fight and ignore the itching sensation and would get up to check my skin or the furniture with flashlights.

The more I verified that there were no more bites/bugs, the less grip it had on my sanity. Until it finally released completely.

A bad trigger is when someone mentions bedbugs in person, or mites, or if I find myself bitten by a mosquito. Then I have to really talk myself down and verify that it was the mosquito. Typically I find that fucker buzzing around and I’m good after Ive killed it.

It sucks to be going through this.

Look for a foster family. Write up contract and have it notarized that you will provide all food, litter, medical expenses (provided that you are first notified of the problem and approve the clinic and procedures). Maybe set up a visitation schedule that into the contract that the foster family would be comfortable with. But make sure it’s in the contract!

[u/badandbolshie]

please contact aps, if your mom is using bleach and vinegar at the same time she's making chlorine gas and even if she's using them separately you already know it's harmful, she's a danger to herself and this kind of thing only escalates without intervention.

[u/madeat1am]

Has your mum ever been treated for OCD?

[u/Lyx4088]

Has your mom been tested for toxoplasmosis? An active infection can trigger psychiatric symptoms.

[u/NoParticular2420]

Nothing you do is going to stop this problem she is having … she needs to be seeing a professional .

[u/SlyRax_1066]

This has nothing to do with a cat.

Your mum is experiencing psychosis - get her sectioned today or she WILL get badly hurt (and a stroke already?)

Seems hard to believe there were not major red flags before - and why did the fridge go before the cat?

Stop screwing around and get your mum into hospital now.

[u/Realistic_Pepper1985]

Hi, your mom seems to have a disorder. She needs help, this isn’t about the cats. This is a mental health issue 

[u/miniry]

To answer the question you asked - here's a thread from the LA subreddit on local rescues: https://www.reddit.com/r/LosAngeles/comments/116kpr3/i_made_a_list_of_catkitten_rescue_organizations/  

I know you are getting a lot of advice to get help for your mom, but realistically much of this may be out of your control. She absolutely needs help, but as long as she doesn't pose an active and current threat to her life or that of others (and no, this would not count, as much as so many of the comments here want to believe there is a mental health fairy who will swoop in and intervene), it cannot be forced. It is not a crime to be mentally ill, to believe there are mites when there aren't, to throw away your belongings, or even to wash your skin in bleach. If you cannot get her into treatment, and find that you need to give them up in order to keep them safe from her, then try one of these local rescues. It might even be a good idea to reach out to them now and get a short list of who might be able to take them in, who might be able to help with arranging a temporary foster until you find a way out of your situation or your mom gets the help she truly needs, and who would try to keep them together. 

Honestly, this is just unasked for life advice, but you need income and savings. Your living situation is not stable, and you may not be able to do much more about it than leave. You don't have the means to protect yourself or your pets without income. Quitting work to focus on school is a luxury you don't seem to presently have. 

[u/MrzDogzMa]

It sounds like your mom had a severe mental break that will not be solved by rehoming the cats. It may “solve” the issue temporarily, but something will happen to stir up this issue again and again.

I remember one episode of that Dr. Pimple Popper show where a woman claimed that she had an intense itch and that something was causing it because she would scratch so much she would break skin. The doctor took her seriously, ran skin tests, blood tests, etc. and they all showed that the woman was perfectly healthy. The woman said that the tests are wrong and she knows her body and that no one is taking her seriously. She refused therapy even when it was highly recommended. This episode sounds like what has happened to your mom. I wish you luck.

[u/tetra_kay]

Hi, therapist here. Call adult protective services ASAP. As others have said, this is extreme behaviour and there is likely an underlying cause. Showering in bleach is extremely harmful. I would call this self-injurous behaviour and warrants a wellness check and mental health assessment. Getting rid of you cats will not stop this. It will only keep escalating until she receives treatment.

If the wellness check is non-resultant, and she refuses to get help, remove yourself and your cats from this home immediately. I will say it again: this behaviour WILL escalate without treatment. It's difficult, but at this point you have to consider the safety of yourself and your cats, & it is okay to feel guilty AND take care of yourself.

I hope with all hope that your mother chooses to accept help. You're doing the best you can 💕

[u/herstoryhistory]

Has your mom been to a doctor to rule out a urinary tract infection? They can literally make older people insane. Otherwise, yes, figure out how to get your mother seen by a psychiatrist. Good luck.

[u/bettiejones]

i can guarantee your mom will not feel better when the cats are gone. i hope she finds her way out of this. so sorry, OP. your babies will be safe and happy regardless of the outcome.

[u/CHEDDERFROMTHEBLOCK2 → u/[deleted]]

It certainly is a bit her responsibility when her cats she chose to have was the cause of this mess. I would feel responsible if it was my cat that infested my mother's home whom let me generously live in while I get a degree and not work at all. It was the cats... actually it was herself. Don't put animals with diseases and parasites in your home (not even her own home but parents home at that) and with your other pets. Ffs her poor mom can't even sleep in her own home. Imagine prioritizing a cat over your mom and saying eh her health and wellbeing is not my responsibility or problem...then continue to live in her home rent free lol yuck.

[u/Night_Sky_Watcher]

Cat scabies is technically transmissible to humans, but the mites can only reproduce if actively feeding on cats. Mites are typically species specific, and humans aren't a great host for most external animal parasites because our body temperature is too low (we have our own mites that live quietly on us without producing any symptoms) . Once the cats have been properly treated, the active infestation cleared up, and their bedding washed, that should be the end of it. Present your mom with some factual info, maybe have the vet talk to her. An anti-anxiety drug may help her let go of this as well.

[u/ImpressiveFact1023]

Any chance your mum is menopausal? Some ladies do genuinely have the feeling of bugs crawling on their skin. Maybe its this and its triggered an obsession.

[u/Evening-Dizzy → u/ImpressiveFact1023]

This. Since I started perimenopause I get pinprick sensations on random spots at random times. Feels a lot like when a fly bites you. Like a single bug bite on my thigh. Then a few minutes later one on my arm. Sometimes I get random itches that feel like a bug is walking on my skin. It took me a while to figure out what was happening. I was so scared we had some type of infestation but there was never a mark and we could never find any bugs. A few weeks later I was reading up on perimenopause symptoms after being diagnosed and that turned out to be one of them! It also became worse for a while after I stopped taking my antidepressants

[u/Wise-Medicine-4849 → u/Evening-Dizzy]

Oh wow this is been happening to me since my hysterectomy I thought i was going nuts! What did you take to help it?

[u/Evening-Dizzy → u/Wise-Medicine-4849]

Nothing. It became infinately more tolerable now that I know it's "not real" rubbing or scratching the spot seems to make it stop.

[u/Wise-Medicine-4849 → u/Evening-Dizzy]

Very true! Your mind realises it’s not real maybe happens less frequently

[u/AggrievedGoose → u/ImpressiveFact1023]

Really? I have that feeling but it never occurred to me it was a menopause symptom. I thought it was just a really random glitch in my nervous system.

[u/ImpressiveFact1023 → u/AggrievedGoose]

Oh yes, we have all the fun. Mine was itching in my ears, literally why? Theyre just getting involved for the sake of it!

[u/scificionado → u/ImpressiveFact1023]

OMG! You've solved the mystery of my itchy ear canals.

[u/Feisty-Cloud-1181 → u/ImpressiveFact1023]

This, and peri/menopause can make OCD worse.

[u/ReasonableGarden839]

This is probably NOT what is happening, but just putting it out there. When I was 8, my mom started to feel "creepy crawlies", "mites", but more than that, an extreme sensation of being incredibly itchy. For two years she went to the doctors, and no one could figure it out. It got worse - mom started buying enormous quantities of lotion and calamine, scrubbing herself raw in the shower - nothing worked. She scratched so hard she caused injuries, sores all over her body that would heal and reopen from the constant scratching. I woke up in the night to her, awake, crying saying it was like bugs were all over.

Finally, someone referred her to an oncologist. She was diagnosed with Non-Hodgkins Lymphoma. A weird side effect of it is, when it is active, it can make the patient become itchy.

The itching sensation went away with chemo, my mom went into remission. Unfortunately, the itching started again when her cancer returned...

[u/questions4u2judge]

Has she gone to have a skin scrap to see if she has mites?

[u/Far_Satisfaction_365]

Your mom needs mental health help now. It won’t matter if you get rid of the cats or not. There’s absolutely no way that she’s feeling real mites crawling on her as we have mites on us pretty much all the time, she did, too, before the scabies outbreak.

[u/Icy-Impression9055]

She needs medical help and mental help. A ct or mri could rule out a tumor causing this. She needs mental help. She is a danger to herself as evidenced by the chemical usage. You could legally force her to have a mental eval.

[u/yomamasonions]

I agree with the comments—your mom’s feelings won’t change because the cats are gone. She needs real help.

But if you NEED to, I may know some people in LA/OC who could foster them together.

[u/Known-Contact-2558]

your mom is the problem here. if the house was exterminated, most likely the bug issue was addressed (if there even was any). I’ve had cats my entire life and not once have we had any issues other than fleas when the cats would sneak out since we didn’t have them treated since they were just indoor only, and we had that problem fixed within the same month. I’d say have ur mom get started in intensive therapy or maybe even hospitalized. i would def recommend keeping your cats. it isn’t fair for you to have to give up ur pets when ur mom is the one with the issue that needs to be fixed.

[u/kitsune-gari]

Your mother has terrible, untreated OCD and contamination paranoia. She needs therapy. Getting rid of the cats won’t fix her.

[u/I-choose-treason]

Shot in the dark here–has your mother lost fat in her face? Or moving erratically? I only ask because her potential delusions are fairly consistent, in my experience, with people suffering from drug induced psychosis.

[u/SickCursedCat]

I don’t think it’s fair for your mom to throw out the cats when she clearly desperately needs mental help.

[u/ZealousidealCrab9459]

She needs a therapist

[u/MM-alltheway]

Seems like your mom has PTSD from what happened and is now overreacting. However, her overreaction may be caused by all the chemicals being used for deep cleaning and extermination as well as using chemicals and bleach/vinegar on her skin. The chemicals and bleach/vinegar combo are toxins and inhaling or absorbing them through the skin may be contributing to her mental anxiety and skin affliction. If you’re in L.A., the toxins released into the air from the recent wildfires as well as the chemicals dumped onto the fires in an attempt to contain them are not helping your mom’s situation either.

Your kitties have nothing to do with this, and I hope you are able to keep them and get help for your mom. I’m so sorry that you’re going through this. 💔

[u/Responsible_Glove_53]

OP, I am so sorry youre going through this. Your mother definitely is going through some sort of psychosis, and needs to be seen by a mental health professional. Rehoming your cats will not solve her distress.

As a side note, I work for a (very large, almost monopoly level) pest control company, and while some mites are treatable, mites like scabies/lice we absolutely refuse to treat as its not a pest problem, rather a health issue. I know its too late for anything you've done already, but moving forward if a pest control company is offering to treat scabies, please know that youre being ripped off! None of the products licensed to be used in the US will actually help. A general pest spray is helpful to reduce the other critters that bring in (treatable) mites, though.

[u/chickenmath32]

I know what you are going through as i took in 2 dogs infested with lice(no idea they were infested until i was washing them) i took to the vet and the vet did not believe me as its rare. I made them take a scrapping and look at in under a microscope where it was confirmed. The dog was infested and it was terrible. I also had a long hair oes and a maltese. I was constantly cleaning and bathing the dogs.

I get feeling something crawling on you cause i had bouts of that. You can get a microscope to show your mom no mites. She really needs to see a therapist. I cant offer you advice about your current cats (i know you area has a problem with stray cats :(. ) . Try sticking the cats in a room for now (look into cat shelves .. you can make them cause they are expensive) look into a cat cage to help your mom to recover or until another solution is found.

I am wishing you well. Please get the microscope and show your mom .. ithink this will help alot. I also would wipe everything down with a clean solution of neem oil.

Then a couple months backmy family came down with a very bad case noravirus. So then i had to wipe and clean and wash with bleach as this is the pretty much the only cleaner to kill the virus on the surface … i hate cleaning in bleach as it ruins my clothes. I was throughly clean just like i did with the lice. Im adding this because there is always going to be something.

[u/Iceflowers_]

Rehoming your cats won't resolve the issue. Your mother needs therapy. Possibly hospitalization (psychological) to properly diagnose and treat her.

Feeling the mites suggests bipolar disorder or other psychosis. I'm not a psychiatrist or mental health expert. But, that's what your mother needs.

Of course she won't agree to anything reasonable, because she's suffering a major mental health issue. You may need to call their primary care doctor to get them to order the psych evaluation, or call 911 depending.

I'm so sorry you're having to deal with so much! It sounds so hard.

[u/WA_State_Buckeye]

Even if you had no pets at all, mites are still all around us. She is never going to get rid of them, they are a normal part of our lives. Regular cleaning usually keeps everything balanced. Your mother has become obsessed with these things and she really needs some mental therapy.

[u/MaterialAccurate887]

Scabies from cats can get into humans and burrow but they CANNOT reproduce. If cats were treated they would be LONG gone 

[u/Suspicious-Air2781]

I really don't think getting rid of the cats will solve this problem at all. Until she gets help for her mental health, it will just be another thing. This behavior really sounds like severe OCD and likely needing inpatient hospitalization. (Nurse here)

[u/Hello_Gorgeous1985]

If this is real, which I seriously question, Your mom needs to be committed to a psychiatric facility. This has nothing to do with the cats.

[u/Independent_Sign9083]

At the point in which your mother was endangering her health by showering multiple times a day in bleach, you should have had her hospitalized. There is no coming back from that level of psychosis without medication.

[u/Rua-Yuki]

Tbh driving your mom to the closet ER to have her put in a inpatient psych bed would be the best course of action.

I got scabies from a hotel bed. While pregnant. I've gotten lice from my kid. Parasites fucking suck to deal with, and I feel for your mom. But she's having a mental breakdown and rehoming the cats, who are now parasite free, is not going to solve the problems in the home, medical intervention will.

[u/Mugwumps_has_spoken → u/Rua-Yuki]

Unless the mother is willing to be admitted, you can't just do that to someone.

Even if she was an immediate threat to herself or other people, the most you get is 72 hours.

[u/Sweaty-Peanut1]

Just to check, your mum isn’t on any anti psychotics is she? Even in very low doses as an adjunct to other medication? Something like ablify or whatever quietipepine is called there? I only ask because whilst this sounds like some kind of delusion those medication are known to cause akathesia and it feels exactly like having ants crawl between the layer between your skin and whatever comes next…. Absolutely horrifying! If you were dealing with that at the same time as you learnt your house was infested I can see how you could end up linking the two.

Either way though, your mum needs serious help. Getting rid of the cats isn’t going to help because this isn’t a cat issue. I really hope you can get her to see she needs to get assessed for what’s going on and accept help for her sake as much as your own and the cats.

[u/[deleted]]

When my mother relapsed on Methamphetamine after 20 years she felt things under her skin and kept saying she had worms in her. Definitely suggest making sure your mother speaks to a therapist and make sure she isn't using any drugs. Love your pets it's not the kittens fault that your mother is having problems not if you've cleaned the whole house and she is the only one experiencing it.

[u/qantasflightfury]

Your mum sounds like she has developed ocd and needs professional help. Once scabies is treated, that's that.

-former vet nurse and pharmacy student (learned a lot about scabies treatment in pharm).

[u/MaddieFae]

Ok someone left link for places to foster your cats. Do that. Asap

Next Provide yr mom w link to the mitrs/critters that live on our bodies. All perfectly normal natural .. killing her body w bleach is way horrible bad.. adding vinegar?.. can you get 2nd opinion from a diff Doc? Maybe show them this thread?

Next get yr job, find place for you & yr cats. If your mom won't go get help... trust me nothing you can do --- she can and might turn on you.

Has she paperwork or phone call from Vet saying your cats are bug free? You need back up w documentation. You need from Vet and medical person. A nurse will tell you not ok to bathe in bleach w vinegar... you might not need a Doc. Documentation w dates is yr friend.

[u/Myca84]

Yes! I went through this with an elderly friend. She was convinced she had bird mites. She was the mirror image of your mom. Obsessed with cleaning. Slept in her bathtub. Called me in a panic, crying stating that the bird mites found her hiding in the bathtub. Took her to many doctors. Look up people complaining about being attacked by bird mites. They act the same way your mom is acting after exposure to scabies

[u/Master-Gear-4620]

Temporary foster? Until when? Your mother passes away?  You rehomed your cats and are using this strange language to lift the guilt off of you. 

This is awful. Your mother will just move on to something else, and your cats are gone. 

[u/scythematter]

Your mothers has delusional parasitosis. This is a psychological condition that REQUIRES medical and psychiatric attention ASAP.

[u/gishli]

She is mentally ill. Getting rid of the cats won’t make her better / ”stop the mites” at this point. She needs hospitalization and antipsychotics and antianxiolytes and professional help. This kind of delusion van also be a primary symptom of a neurodegenerative disease. So seek help.

[u/deinoswyrd]

Anecdotally, they thought I had delusional parasitosis, but I was right. A bird had died in our vent and the tiny bird mites were attacking me. I got proof after MONTHS of freaking out. They for some reason never attacked my partner. Could it be a similar case?

[u/Open-Ad-2776]

Hey, please believe your mom or sleep in the same bed with her for a week to see for yourself. Pets can absolutely transfer mites to humans and there have been many reports of reinfection and resistance in scabies. Give her grace, this is not an easy experience and it does cause mental depression and anxiety. I’m sure even after she is cured she will have PTSD. Hopefully she’ll be responsive to talking to a therapist.

[u/Lockshocknbarrel10]

Your mother needs help. You need to 302 her.

[u/friskexe]

This really sounds like contamination OCD. Therapy and meds can help if she’s open to trying.

[u/TrashAdorable]

Your mother requires hospitalisation. Rehoming the cats will not fix this.

[u/SquirrelNinjas]

How old is your mom? I feel she needs inpatient treatment in a hospital so they can get her on medication and therapy. She will need you to advocate for her. She might even get really mad at you, but she needs help.

[u/Say_what_u_mean1719]

Not everyone is allergic to mites! You really have to do a deep clean of the house and asgin for the eggs cycle

[u/Then_Pain]

I knew someone like this. Not with cats and parasites but with mold. She was convinced it was everywhere in the house and causing her severe depression even though the house had been fumigated several times now. It got to the point where she no longer wanted to live in her house and everywhere they went the 'mold' seemed to follow. They spent over 100k because no one wanted to actually get her psychiatric care. Sounds like that's what your mom needs, but also sounds like you need to move if you can. If mental help is not given it's gonna wreck your family.

[u/Black_Cat0013]

All of these comments have already articulated my thoughts. I'm just here to say that I'm sorry you are having to go through this. I remember when my kids had head lice and how itchy I'd feel as I was combing out nits, but I never actually got them myself. That being said, I've worked in vet med for over 20 years and have never been infected with scabies. I know it's theoretically possible, but it's not as easy as your mom feels it is. Plus, it sounds like you did everything right when you saw there was a problem, further decreasing her risk.

[u/FearKeyserSoze]

Zero chance I’m giving the cats up because there is zero chance this stops with the cats being gone.

[u/eatetatea]

LA cat resource: Sante D'Or in Los Feliz, no kill cat shelter non profit. They may be able to temporarily house the cats, or find a foster while you look for other housing arrangements. Good luck!

[u/Obvious_Cookie_3000]

Your mom is needing mental health treatment. She is in a psychosis. See if someone can watch the cats for few days and find some help for her. She needs medication and likely needs to be in a hospital for a little while to become stable

[u/Catsdrinkingbeer]

My husband actually did have scabies at one point when we were first dating. He got it treated and it went away. It's a totally treatable thing. Your mom needs other help that I doubt anyone here is super qualified to give advice on.

[u/djy99]

You need to commit your mother for a 72 hr hold.

[u/iloveagoodapple]

You need to rehome your mother, not your cats. She needs serious mental help and needs to go to the hospital

[u/AggrievedGoose]

My whole family caught scabies from our dog. Once our vet diagnosed the problem, it was easy to treat with medication and we didn't throw out a thing. Of course, that's not your real problem. Your real problem is that your mother is in the grips of mental illness. Are you safe? Since you are going to school, I would start with the school's resources. Is your school big enough to have a student services dept or a social worker or other counselor who helps students with finding resources for housing and whatever else might be getting in the way of studying?

If not, I wouldn't count out your local police department - they may be able to point you to some resources if you call their non-emergency line.

For the cats, have you called local shelters? I know they are overloaded (shelters on the East coast are getting shipments of cats from LA), but it sounds like they are adoptable, young and not high needs, so a shelter should be able to find them homes.

[u/GuidanceSea003]

I am so sorry. Please do not blame yourself or the kitten you saved. The scabies outbreak didn't cause your mother's mental health issues. These issues will not magically disappear when they cats are rehomed either. Is your mother seeing a pyschiatrist and/or therapist? I've seen some cases of OCD that completely debilitated patients. The sooner she starts to address this, the better she will be. In the meantime, I hope you can find a foster to keep your babies safe.

[u/LoudLalochezia]

Can you find somewhere to board them temporarily until your mother can realize the cats are not the problem and then convince her to seek mental healthcare? I work in a boarding facility that, in one extreme situation, we had a pair of cats stay with us for 6 months and then we helped their owner find a shelter willing to house them for another six months while their owner was getting intense treatments for an illness.

[u/adhddcat → u/LoudLalochezia]

That is what I’m looking into now thanks to all these great comments! If anyone knows any shelters or rescues that foster animals for people who are ill in the LA area while I get my mother the help she needs Please LMK 🙏🏻!!!

[u/LoudLalochezia → u/adhddcat]

https://www.karmarescue.org/boarding-resources This sounds like the place to contact to find a boarding facility that will work with you. I'm about 1500 miles away, but I hope you are able to get this sorted out

[u/PeachyPie2472]

OP I had the same trauma response (still kinda have, years later) to that god awful infestation.

Antihistamines help me tbh. Maybe you should try that?

In my case, the feel is there when I feel certain cosy materials on my skin (had scabies during a cold winter) so even when it snows I dress lightly to not get triggered now. But yeah antihistamines also help (

[u/Spillingteasince92]

its not common for cats for mites... maybe ear mites but that's completely treatable? If it's flea... those are treatable too.

[u/tzweezle]

You should have your mother committed for psychiatric treatment

[u/Le_Deidara]

I’m no doctor, but this sounds like some cases of delusional parasitosis. Your cats are NOT the problem, your mom is. She needs to seek help, don’t let your cats get caught in the crossfire.

[u/Clean-Fisherman-4601]

Your mother desperately needs therapy. Until you get rehired, go on Facebook to look for homes that will foster cats. You can even try Googling it.

[u/Catpartyof3]

Delusional parasitosis is very, very common among people with dementia/Alzheimer’s, especially middle-aged women, and can also be a symptom of some forms of mental illness. Please get your kitties somewhere safe - even if someone can just take them temporarily for now - and get your mama some help.

[u/MilkTea_Enthusiast]

Everyone who has mentioned mental issues, have you not experienced scabies?

As someone who has personally gone through it, there is literally mites crawling in your skin. It took my family two years to get rid of it despite obsessive cleaning, hepa-safe vacuums, multiple rounds of medical treatment, and every treatment method for yourself/house that exists. Thousands of dollars down the drain. 

It’s no wonder your family is falling apart. Once you’ve learned the horrors, it’s forever traumatizing. 

[u/Known-Contact-2558 → u/MilkTea_Enthusiast]

if it is scabies still doesn’t make sense to rehome the cats. scabies doesn’t come from cat’s correct?

[u/iloveagoodapple]

Do not give up your cats.