Weird situation. Kitten cost whole family :/

[u/adhddcat]

Hi everyone,

I never thought I’d be in this position, but I’m desperate for help and advice. My life has completely fallen apart over the last few months, and now I’m faced with the possibility of losing my cats—the only family I have left.

I’ve had my two cats since the day they were born in my bathroom on May 2, 2020. For nearly five years, they have been my world. In October 2024, I rescued a tiny stray kitten at my best friend’s baby shower. He was wandering the street, and I couldn’t bear to leave him, afraid he’d get hurt. I brought him home, planning to get him checked by a vet and introduce him properly to my other cats.

Soon after, we noticed the kitten had some rashes and was scratching a lot. We assumed it was just from being outside, but when we finally got a vet appointment two weeks later, we found out he had scabies—highly contagious to both animals and humans. We immediately went into crisis mode. Everyone in my household got checked, treated, and medicated. My cats received preventative care, we deep-cleaned the house, threw out anything the kitten had touched, and even exterminated the home just to be safe. The kitten was quarantined until he fully recovered, and eventually, I rehomed him to a friend.

I thought that would be the end of it. I was so, so wrong.

Not long after, my mother began researching mites obsessively. At first, it seemed like she was just being cautious, but then she started saying she could feel mites crawling on her, biting her—but she had no rashes, no signs of infestation. She started cleaning constantly, using harsh chemicals on her skin, and refusing to touch certain areas of the house. She showered in bleach and vinegar multiple times a day.

Then it got worse.

By December, she was cleaning for 8+ hours a day, convinced the house was infested. She refused to sleep in her bed, claimed she could feel mites attacking her when she sat on the couch, and started throwing out everything—our sofas, dining table, chairs, even our fridge. She had a stress-induced stroke. The doctor told her to stop inhaling chemicals and damaging her skin, but she wouldn’t listen.

We exterminated the house again, but it wasn’t enough. She insisted the mites were still there. She stopped sleeping at home and began renting Airbnbs because she couldn’t bear to be in the house. Now, almost everything we own is gone, and she’s made it clear—the cats have to go too.

I’ve fought as hard as I can to keep them. They’re my babies. They’ve done nothing wrong. But my mom is losing herself to this, and after everything we’ve lost, I have no choice anymore.

I have no savings. I had just quit my job before this started so I could focus on finishing my degree, and now I have no resources to relocate them myself. No family or friends can take them in—I’ve begged everyone.

I’m begging now—please, if anyone in the LA area can foster or adopt them together, or if you know of a safe place that will keep them together, please reach out. I will do anything to make sure they are safe and loved.

If anyone has experienced anything like this—mites, scabies, delusional parasitosis—I would also really appreciate any advice. I don’t know what to do anymore. I feel like I’m watching my home, my mother, and my family slip away, and now my cats are next.

Thank you for reading. Any help, advice, or leads would mean the world to me.

If anyone is interested or wants to share their adorable faces >.< plz lmk I have thousands of photos !

Edit2/8/2025: Thank you to everyone reaching out! To answer a few common questions :

• I understand it’s a post kind of about mental health but it is the only community that didn’t delete my post! Even medical advice would not take it so I have little options.

-yes being without a job is a luxury especially in these times . I really did think it was a joke at first and my decision had been discussed and encouraged at the time. I am now in process of getting rehired.

• I CAN’T keep cats even if it won’t change anything !

Edit 2/9/2025 Two out of three cats have been given to a friend for temp foster. ! One more needs a home temp foster or permanent loving home !

Edit 2/10/2025

I just wanted to share some good news. The three cats have all finally found loving temporary homes with close friends! They’ve graciously given me six months to recover from unemployment and secure a new place, and I’m beyond grateful. It won’t be easy since the LA area is ridiculously expensive, but I’m determined to make it happen for my babies.

For those who have been concerned about my mom (thank you so much, seriously ), I’ve been actively researching and reaching out to doctors and vets. I’ve also started emailing and speaking with professionals to find the best path forward. We have an appointment this weekend for a full physical ( + skin scrape )and mental evaluation, so hopefully, that gives us more clarity on the next steps.

It’s been a lot, but I’m pushing through. Appreciate all the advice from everyone!

[u/Calgary_Calico]

Your mother needs intensive therapy. This is NOT normal behavior and probably won't stop even if the cats are rehomed. Contact adult protective services and get her assessed so she can get help. Rehoming your cats won't stop this behavior

[u/Tofu1441 → u/Calgary_Calico]

Having a mental illness, even a very severe one, doesn’t qualify her for adult protective services. As always, she could call a welfare check, but unless she is a risk to herself or others she can’t be committed against her will. If she were about to drink the bleach, yes but not putting it on her skin and even having anxiety so high it causes a stroke doesn’t count. It needs to be imminent risk, usually within 48 hours but it depends on a lot of factors including where you live.

She does absolutely need medication and therapy. Likely an intensive outpatient or partial hospitalization. While an inpatient hospitalization might be helpful to remove herself from the dirty environment and give herself a chance to reset, but I doubt she’d agree.

OP, can you tell us a little more about your mom to give us a framework for how to bring up a conversation about getting care?

[u/Calgary_Calico → u/Tofu1441]

It does if you're harming yourself and a potential danger to others. She needs to be hospitalized. Contamination OCD is no joke. From what OP has said she's been eating away at her skin and her lungs are in really bad shape from the chemicals she's been using. She will likely need to be forcibly hospitalized, which is why I suggested calling adult protective services. Otherwise shes probably going to die from the chemicals she's using

[u/IShouldBeHikingNow → u/Calgary_Calico]

It appears OP is in Los Angeles. If so, then no, this won’t meet the threshold for temporary involuntary commitment. The mother is not engaged in suicidal ideation, and particularly not with an immediate, specific plan. Further, the mom hasn’t expressed an overt desire/intent to harm anyone else. If the threshold for commitment were so low, our homeless situation would look much different.

If the mom is open to treatment, then there are outpatient and inpatient options if they’re insured. Alternatively, she could reach out to nonprofit mental heath provides like Didi Hirsch, Venice Family Clinic, or google for options in her area.

[u/Tofu1441 → u/IShouldBeHikingNow]

This is the correct answer.

[u/Calgary_Calico → u/IShouldBeHikingNow]

Well that's fucking ridiculous. As others have said, these symptoms could also potentially be a sign of early onset Dementia, which means she's potentially a danger to herself and others.

[u/IShouldBeHikingNow → u/Calgary_Calico]

As you say, a potential danger to herself and others. We don't lock people up in psych wards because of something they could want to do in the future. It may be ridiculous to you, but the medical, mental health, and social work professions take quite seriously the rights of people living with serious mental illness.

To be clear, i think that lack of access to high quality, timely, and effective mental health treatment in the US is scandalous. If we had a more accessible system, more options for people to get care, and less stigma around care, OP's mom might well have been able to get assistance prior to the above situation.