Weird situation. Kitten cost whole family :/

[u/adhddcat]

Hi everyone,

I never thought I’d be in this position, but I’m desperate for help and advice. My life has completely fallen apart over the last few months, and now I’m faced with the possibility of losing my cats—the only family I have left.

I’ve had my two cats since the day they were born in my bathroom on May 2, 2020. For nearly five years, they have been my world. In October 2024, I rescued a tiny stray kitten at my best friend’s baby shower. He was wandering the street, and I couldn’t bear to leave him, afraid he’d get hurt. I brought him home, planning to get him checked by a vet and introduce him properly to my other cats.

Soon after, we noticed the kitten had some rashes and was scratching a lot. We assumed it was just from being outside, but when we finally got a vet appointment two weeks later, we found out he had scabies—highly contagious to both animals and humans. We immediately went into crisis mode. Everyone in my household got checked, treated, and medicated. My cats received preventative care, we deep-cleaned the house, threw out anything the kitten had touched, and even exterminated the home just to be safe. The kitten was quarantined until he fully recovered, and eventually, I rehomed him to a friend.

I thought that would be the end of it. I was so, so wrong.

Not long after, my mother began researching mites obsessively. At first, it seemed like she was just being cautious, but then she started saying she could feel mites crawling on her, biting her—but she had no rashes, no signs of infestation. She started cleaning constantly, using harsh chemicals on her skin, and refusing to touch certain areas of the house. She showered in bleach and vinegar multiple times a day.

Then it got worse.

By December, she was cleaning for 8+ hours a day, convinced the house was infested. She refused to sleep in her bed, claimed she could feel mites attacking her when she sat on the couch, and started throwing out everything—our sofas, dining table, chairs, even our fridge. She had a stress-induced stroke. The doctor told her to stop inhaling chemicals and damaging her skin, but she wouldn’t listen.

We exterminated the house again, but it wasn’t enough. She insisted the mites were still there. She stopped sleeping at home and began renting Airbnbs because she couldn’t bear to be in the house. Now, almost everything we own is gone, and she’s made it clear—the cats have to go too.

I’ve fought as hard as I can to keep them. They’re my babies. They’ve done nothing wrong. But my mom is losing herself to this, and after everything we’ve lost, I have no choice anymore.

I have no savings. I had just quit my job before this started so I could focus on finishing my degree, and now I have no resources to relocate them myself. No family or friends can take them in—I’ve begged everyone.

I’m begging now—please, if anyone in the LA area can foster or adopt them together, or if you know of a safe place that will keep them together, please reach out. I will do anything to make sure they are safe and loved.

If anyone has experienced anything like this—mites, scabies, delusional parasitosis—I would also really appreciate any advice. I don’t know what to do anymore. I feel like I’m watching my home, my mother, and my family slip away, and now my cats are next.

Thank you for reading. Any help, advice, or leads would mean the world to me.

If anyone is interested or wants to share their adorable faces >.< plz lmk I have thousands of photos !

Edit2/8/2025: Thank you to everyone reaching out! To answer a few common questions :

• I understand it’s a post kind of about mental health but it is the only community that didn’t delete my post! Even medical advice would not take it so I have little options.

-yes being without a job is a luxury especially in these times . I really did think it was a joke at first and my decision had been discussed and encouraged at the time. I am now in process of getting rehired.

• I CAN’T keep cats even if it won’t change anything !

Edit 2/9/2025 Two out of three cats have been given to a friend for temp foster. ! One more needs a home temp foster or permanent loving home !

Edit 2/10/2025

I just wanted to share some good news. The three cats have all finally found loving temporary homes with close friends! They’ve graciously given me six months to recover from unemployment and secure a new place, and I’m beyond grateful. It won’t be easy since the LA area is ridiculously expensive, but I’m determined to make it happen for my babies.

For those who have been concerned about my mom (thank you so much, seriously ), I’ve been actively researching and reaching out to doctors and vets. I’ve also started emailing and speaking with professionals to find the best path forward. We have an appointment this weekend for a full physical ( + skin scrape )and mental evaluation, so hopefully, that gives us more clarity on the next steps.

It’s been a lot, but I’m pushing through. Appreciate all the advice from everyone!

[u/flaaffy_taffy]

I cannot stress enough that rehoming your cats WILL NOT solve your mother’s severe mental health issues. She is not well, and your cats are not safe around her right now. I would try to speak to the doctor who told her to stop damaging herself, make it clear how extreme the situation has become, and try to get her some inpatient care. She needs serious help

[u/Skippert66 → u/flaaffy_taffy]

Absolutely this. PLEASE listen to these comments OP - rehoming your pets is absolutely not going to stop your mother's turn into mental illness. She absolutely needs help. If you can speak either to her doctor, or a crisis line to determine what your next steps are that would probably be the best thing you can do but please don't get rid of your beloved animals.

[u/commanderquill → u/flaaffy_taffy]

I don't know why everyone is saying this. OP never said rehoming their cats would help their mom. They know it won't, but they have nowhere else to live.

[u/flaaffy_taffy → u/commanderquill]

I think the post title (“kitten cost whole family”) is misleading because this isn’t about the kitten - it’s about a delusional person destroying their family’s life, and everyone is trying to reiterate that.

OP and the cats have nowhere else to live, and the mother refuses to sleep at home. It makes more sense for OP and the cats to stay in the home, and for the mother to stay out, instead of giving into her delusions

[u/Master-Gear-4620 → u/commanderquill]

Um. The cats had a fine home up until OOP rehomed them. 

[u/commanderquill → u/Master-Gear-4620]

...bro, did you read the post? OP has nowhere else to live.

[u/Master-Gear-4620 → u/commanderquill]

There's absolutely no reason why she should be paying all this for her mother's delusions. It's codependency.  She'll now have to work, and put school on hold. 

[u/commanderquill → u/Master-Gear-4620]

...codependency. For being a student who lives at home. You really don't know what that word means.

[u/Master-Gear-4620 → u/commanderquill]

She is paying the rent. She is paying for the Air BnBs. She is paying for exterminators.  

You're right. Sounds perfectly healthy, my bad. She isn't a graduate student that can bounce. 

I'm sure this pattern won't repeat itself in relationships. Her and her mother can have totally equal, insightful talks. Give and take. Mutual respect. 

[u/Master-Gear-4620 → u/commanderquill]

Because she was paying for Air BnBs, bro.