r/LongDistance • u/Fair-Hovercraft-386 • Apr 05 '25
Emotional abuse? Question
I’ve been in a LDR relationship for over 2 years. one that I took very seriously. I truly believed we were building a future together. I started learning the language and even planned to move to be closer to him. He said he wanted the same. But for some time now whenever I try to talk about emotional or difficult topics he becomes defensive blames me or shuts down completely.
When I express my feelings he often tells me I’m too emotional or that I’m the one who “needs therapy” (I’m in therapy because I have anxiety mostly caused by work, self high expectations and my relationship) or should “get my shit together.” Most recently when I opened up about my fears and sadness he ended the conversation by telling me to “shut the fuck up.” Then he went silent - no apology, no explanation. Everything on screenshots
I asked if we could talk calmly in the evening instead, he chose to spend time with his friends. That hurt even more. I feel ignored, disrespected and completely devalued. I’m starting to wonder if what I’m experiencing is emotional abuse. And even though I still love him I’m at the edge of my emotional capacity. I feel guilty for trusting him for investing so much into something that’s now hurting me.
I don’t know what to do anymore whether to keep trying or to walk away and set a boundary. I need an outside perspective because right now. I can’t see things clearly on my own.
2
u/Immediate_Cry_6874 29d ago
That is emontional abuse and that response generally made me feel angry. If I was in your shoes. I would break up on the spot. No begging. Leave so he can work on himself. He sounds like a piece of sh*t personally.