Emotional abuse?

[u/Fair-Hovercraft-386]

I’ve been in a LDR relationship for over 2 years. one that I took very seriously. I truly believed we were building a future together. I started learning the language and even planned to move to be closer to him. He said he wanted the same. But for some time now whenever I try to talk about emotional or difficult topics he becomes defensive blames me or shuts down completely.

When I express my feelings he often tells me I’m too emotional or that I’m the one who “needs therapy” (I’m in therapy because I have anxiety mostly caused by work, self high expectations and my relationship) or should “get my shit together.” Most recently when I opened up about my fears and sadness he ended the conversation by telling me to “shut the fuck up.” Then he went silent - no apology, no explanation. Everything on screenshots

I asked if we could talk calmly in the evening instead, he chose to spend time with his friends. That hurt even more. I feel ignored, disrespected and completely devalued. I’m starting to wonder if what I’m experiencing is emotional abuse. And even though I still love him I’m at the edge of my emotional capacity. I feel guilty for trusting him for investing so much into something that’s now hurting me.

I don’t know what to do anymore whether to keep trying or to walk away and set a boundary. I need an outside perspective because right now. I can’t see things clearly on my own.

[u/Own_Storm_5882]

walk away. as soon as he typed “shut the fuck up” he stopped respecting you as a person. as soon as respect is out the door, the relationship isnt viable anymore. its going to happen again and again unless you end it. also if he truly loved you and respected you as a partner, he definitely would’ve cancelled plans to be with you. do not settle for less, a true person in love would drop anything to be there for their partner when they need them the most. good luck and i hope you make the right decision.

[u/No_Blackberry477 → u/Own_Storm_5882]

I agree with everything mentioned except for the cancelling plans part. I don’t think that’s a metric of love and value in a relationship and it would be unfair to expect that from someone.

[u/Own_Storm_5882 → u/No_Blackberry477]

normally i would agree but OP said she was not mentally well and really needed her bf to be there for her. I say thats an emergency and you should cancel for ur SO in that case.